For my sins I have a sister who lives in Perth(fontein), Australia and family tradition dictates that Christmas every year is spent in Perth(fontein). So yes, you guessed it, I will soon be packing my bag and heading off down under for yet another Christmas in a country that has long since forgotten how to spell “beer” and rather prefers to put four Xs in its place instead. So much for the pleasures of island living. Every year I also get the same comment from colleagues, which typically runs along the lines of “I hope you’re coming back!”.
Let’s get one thing straight, I will definitely be coming back if only for two reasons, one I can live with and the other one I can’t.
First, what can I live with? The fact that Australia is the second most water-distressed continent on the Earth. In essence, they don’t have enough water for all the citizens of Australia. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that Australia was technically full at 15 million people. With a population of (pushing) 20 million people there are not enough natural resources to sustain the population. Part of the reason why Australia is so water distressed is because it is possible for farmers to mortgage their water access. So if your farm backs onto the Swan River, not only can you mortgage your land you can also mortgage your river frontage. And here you thought South African banks were the only original lot to come up with ingenious ways of getting clients into debt. So in order to finance their mortgages (liquid or otherwise) farmers are required to take more than their fair share of water. The nett result is that the Murray and Darling rivers are beginning to dry up as they flow (trickle?) through the state of Victoria.
Now for the bit I can’t live with …
Last year I met some cousins on my father’s side of the family for the first time. They seemed genuinely surprised that South Africans also come in white. As we were travelling on a bus from one side of Perth(fontein) to the other one of my cousins kept asking whether every black person we saw was South African. This all being premised on the fact that I had mentioned to them the significant number of South Africans living in Perth(fontein), a fact to which they were completely oblivious. So I would like to think that I did my bit for cultural enlightenment, the advancement of good relations between South Africa and Australia and all that sort of thing. So far so good.
The next day travelling down a freeway in Perth(fontein) (highways as we call them are called freeways there, go figure) a bakkie drives past and as the bakkie overtook me I saw an old South African flag plastered on the back of the bakkie. I am all for freedom of expression, but that is taking things a little too far, in my opinion. I was very tempted to pull up next to the bakkie and give the driver a piece of my mind … at 120km/h. The only problem with me venting my anger at the driver was that the speed limit on an Australian highway is 100km/h and if I had been caught I would have received a significant fine, which at ZAR7 to AUS$1 would have hurt — a lot. The other South African driver, more than likely aware of the speed restrictions, continued to hurtle down the highway in excess of the 100km/h limit.
In the end I had to take a deep breath and try to let go. Part of the process of letting go was the realisation that South Africa is a better country without people like that here. People who continue to fly the old South African flag haven’t quite realised, or have realised but continue to live in denial, that that country is not coming back — ever. It is gone for good. And though South Africa has all its problems of crime and corruption, these are still better problems to have to deal with than trying to maintain a racially segregated society with all the oppression that went with it. The sad thing is that native Australians are being told by South Africans, such as the driver of that bakkie, about what an awful country South Africa is. The reality being that people such as that bakkie driver are trying to find a justification for their leaving South Africa. They can never come back. How come? Return would be an admission of defeat. So if things go pear-shaped in Australia they will be condemned to suffer in silence. Instead of emigrating for the right reasons (work or study opportunities, for example) these people will also forever be compelled to try recreate South Africa in Australia. They will always only ever associate with other South Africans who reinforce their worldview as they gather at a braai, rather than the barbie.
So good riddance to bad rubbish is what I guess I am trying to say and I hope the driver of that bakkie got a speeding fine too. And if you have a sticker of the old South African flag on the back of your car and someone, someday flips you the bird on the highway, it’s probably me.
Yea you’re a model of a modern South African
bbq is just a way of saying you’re braaing patties and viennas!!!
thoroughly enjoyed this. well said!
Totally loved your article.
I hope you’re coming back….
Wow, good riddens of bad rubbish! Sounds like Charles Nqakula telling people to leave if they don’t like crime! Do you know what the Brain Drain is doing to SA? Do you know how many gifted people I meet every day in Perth originating from Zim or SA who are truly some of the best skills I have seen?
Mate, let me tell you, my heart misses Africa. I don’t miss living in Africa though for many reasons. Australia is not perfect but when there is a problem, it is addressed. And there seems to be a lot more common sense here.
It’s a different world here, lets be honest about it. In the end, you have a choice. Stay in SA or migrate. Simple, my forefathers did the same 350 years ago and I thank God for the opportunity. I lost a lot of money coming here but you know what, in a year of hard work, we have two cards and a camper, a house that needs a bit a work and stable jobs. I have customers who value the knowledge I bring to their businesses and they pay us good money for that. I get support from my employer who encourages me to walk away from shady business.
I am not in survival mode anymore. I think that sums it up.
Maybe that was the flag of the country – at the time he left, but then I guess you did not bother to ask – shame – seems like you are rather envious of your sister living in Perth – you must try to get out more !
You made me laugh, but my immediate reaction was that there is little other use for an old SA flag than using it to keep the sun off a red neck.
Why are we so precious about the darn thing?
It’s a bit like saying that because I have a little Buddha (he’s so round and fat and jolly and doesn’t seem the slightest bit phased about calories and cholesterol), I must worship him instead of God and Jesus.
Old SA flags are great for disguising cracks in walls, substituting for missing shower curtains and keeping a light breeze at bay; even as bedspreads or curtains.
I don’t have one; I have never had one. But just think, everyone knew which way was up and they were far too difficult to paint sideways on faces! Where I come from defacing the EXISTING flag is a crime, not what one does with the leftovers…
lol. great article.
Why does Warren an put himself through the agony of visiting his family in Perth, and using what little water we do have! The last time I drove over the Swan River it looked rather full to me. Why can he not convince his family living in Perth to return to South Africa for Christmas. Perth is a much happier place without people like him.
What an absolute load of rubbish. Yes, I am one of those idiots that has an old SA flag, BUT, I left SA in 1993, that was the only one available at the time. I have never lived under the new SA flag, so see no reason to have one.
You failed to tell the people that on your visits to Perth(fontein) you wake up in the morning and look out of a window without burglar bars, you walk down the street in safety, you shop without distressing your muscles clutching your bag, you can go for a jog at night and come home alive, you can sleep peacefully at night without jumping up to check out every little sound you hear, you do not pay exhorbitant prices for insurance, or medical cover, and guess what, if for any reason you are made redundant or find yourself without a job, the government is there to assist. BEST of all you do not have to be alarmed by all the laws governing whom you employ, if you start your own business.
I suggest you holiday in SA and stay the hell hole you call Perth(fontein)!
Would be interesting to know why your family do not return to SA for a happy Christmas!
Don’t forget that bakkies are called utes in Australia (as in utility vehicle) and maybe that bakkie/ute driver left South Africa before the new flag was created…
G’day Warren – Saffers all appear to have come to Aussie at various milestone points in South Africa’s journey from apartheid to democracy. So all triggered for different reasons; who’s to say which are valid and which arn’t?
Although I picked up an old flag on TV at the rugger in Queensland, I havn’t seen any others. But the ‘old flag’ sentiment is still seems quite rife amoungst the early 90′s tranche. But mostly Saffers living here are tightly pro-South Africa and talk up the country and wave the new flag every chance we get. You would have seen that too, in Perf.
Great article btw; I didn’t know that about the water driven mortgages. But Australia is such a hugely competitive and commercially driven country so its not that much of a surprise to hear it.
Enjoy the day further mate – and if you’re in JHB enjoy that beautiful beautiful weather!
I have been in Perth for 8 montyhs now and the freedom I enjoy now reminds me of the frredom I used to enjoy as a child in South africa.( yes in the days of the old SA flag)
I walk late at night – no alarms – do not lock up the house wwen I go to bed, the kids use public transport when they want to go out,etc, etc – I can carry on and on.
I voted YES in the election for a free democratic country – look where it got me, I had to leave the country of my birth to provide safety for my family.
Coming to Perth was the best thing we did as a family – even my teenage daughters have realised this – you obviously do not have their intellectual ability.
Mate, be careful who you show rude signs to when you are down here – because it may be me and then I am going to climb out and give you a snot klap.
I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve in the article.
I assure you, there are just as many South Africans in South Africa who are ignorant about Australia (yes, Australians are not all blonde and don’t all surf). And there are plenty more South Africans in South Africa who pine for everything the old flag represents.
The only reason you don’t see “Oom Koos” driving around Nelspruit with his old flag on his bakkie is because he’ll be lynched for it. I assure you, there are many, many, many old SA flags in South Africa, displayed in homes, kept in drawers and proudly handed down to children to remember “the way our beautiful country was”…
You really don’t have to worry about South Africans in Australia bad-mouthing South Africa – the locals are doing a fine job as it is. My wife was in a florist on our annual trip to SA, and when the florist found out she was Australian, she bombarded her with advice – “you Aussies must be careful, do you know what they’re doing now, Australian couples who can’t have kids come over to South Africa and adopt black orphans and take them back to Australia with them, you guys must be careful man, next thing you know Australia will be like South Africa with all the black kids that side, they’ll mess up your country, you must keep it white!!”
What a fine specimen.
What is this stat: 70 percent want to leave this country, seems I read it in the MG.
Yes, everyone who left for Australia is a huge racist. Astoundingly insightful writing.
Oh, and Castlemaine XXXX? I honestly wonder if you’ve been here. I’ve seen it in maybe one bottlestore, and I’ve never seen Fosters for sale anywhere. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of different beers on sale here that expose SAB “beer” as the chemical-laced urine it is.
I rather like that old flag. Like my vinyl LPs. Nothing wrong with them.
Dear Warren,
Firstly, it is just Perth, and in this country a “bakkie” is called a Ute. We dont need to justify why we left, just as we dont ask you to justify why you stay. If fact mate, please dont come down under for Christmas, as you are just someone whom comes across as being very jealous of our incredible country , with so little water. We might die of thirst………..might, but the chances are that you will die under some ” natural” circumstance South African Style.
Warren- I was disgusted by your blog on Perth and Australia. I have had the pleasure & privledge of living in this world class city for 2 years and have travelled around Australia extensively. Your opening paragraph that implies that Australians do not know how to spell “beer” set the tone for the balance of your unreasearched article.
Firstly, most South Africans would put crime on the top of their list for why they emigrated from their beloved South Africa to a country where the rule of law is NOT negotiable. The stats speak for themselves but take one aspect- such as road fatalities- Australia lost 1,464 citizens vs 14,057 South Africans in 2008. Drunk driving and speeding are just not tolerated in Australia. In every aspect Australians are law abiding and this is so welcome when one comes from a country where taking a life/raping/burglary/corruption is accepted as “part” of living in this beautiful country!
Did you know that Perth will harness 30% of their water needs from the ocean by 2011 from 2 desalination plants. Already 17% comes from this abundant source not dependent on rainfall?
Talking of Beer -perhaps you should visit Little Creatures Brewery in Fremantle, Perth- a world class Brewery. You could enjoy A Pale Ale or another premium brand in a beautiful setting on the Swan River. No, XXXX brand of beer would suit you and your family much better. Have a great Xmas in the land of milk and honey!
By the way, The Murray-Darling river system runs through Queensland, NSW, Victoria and South Australia. Short-sighted over-use and lack of sustainable management (never mind an endless drought) of this precious resource has resulted in it being virtually destroyed. So imagine a waterless continent where the population is pushing 22 million (actually) and is reckoned to reach 35 million by 2040 – and that is WITHOUT the millions of climate change and other refugees from neighbouring region soon on their way. And that’s not even taking into consideration that biodiversity destruction is higher than anywhere else in the world. Not much of future, even though it seems safe for now.
One can never run away from the results of human’s impact – temporarily yes, but not in the long run. Life will also change in Australia, and where to then mate?
Warren
Its called freedom of expression. It’s a thing we have here in a country where recent state and federal elections result in a change in ruling party without a drop of blood or a single bullet or even a single death threat. Its also called freedom of association. So, while you are free to express your asinine opinion of Perth and its inhabitants, we are equally free to drive around with our choice of flags, stickers and motifs on our vehicles. Without being hijacked.
I am more concerned about people waving the current SA flag in Australia. What do they want to represent?
Kom asb terug Perth toe! My ute is waiting for you!
Eish Warren, lekker bitterbek ne. C’mon what happened to tolerance or are you too South African to know about it? Relax bru, let everyone find their own way. Certainly Perth has some huge advantages over SA – lack of violent crime being top on my list.
You do realise that not a single article of this kind is ever written in any Australian newspaper. The competition about which country is better is one sided. To Australians, South Africa is largely irrelevant, we’re in no rush to emmigrate over your way. South Africans seem to be the ones obsessed with Australia, not the other way around. This obsession, would seem to stem from jealousy……methinks the unfortunate truth is that colonialism worked out rather better for us. Sorry about that……
One reason why “colonialism worked out rather better” is the fact that the native people’s of Australia where practically obliterated…and now suffer the consequences. ‘Intervention laws’… Australia having to repeal the racial discrimination act just to put these laws in place… enough said! And not many Aussies even know of this. Not something to be proud of…