I spoke to our vet and he seems quite happy to have Nicola Patten, mother of 13-year-old Alfie who has just fathered a child, spayed and if that doesn’t work, put down. His diagnosis was that this wenner “probably has mad cow disease or, at a push, a severe case of swine fever”.
The mother-of-the-year candidate, upon hearing that a queue of teens was forming a double line outside the Sun newspaper’s office — claiming they are the father of Chantelle Steadman’s daughter — was of the view that Alfie’s “absolutely devastated these lads have come forward to say they slept with her at the time she got pregnant. Everything is wrong”.
No shit Sherlock!
When did she notice? Was it after the publicist Max Clifford told her that the golden goose, ie her 13-year-old son, may not have laid the golden egg after all? Perhaps a DNA test might be in order.
If my 13-year-old son — and I have such an item in stock — came home and told me that he had made a girl pregnant, I wouldn’t be phoning Max Clifford, I’d be calling the police to lock me up for 6 months before I kill someone. Then when I eventually got home I would dig a cellar like that genius Fritzl (Austrian that imprisoned his daughter and then had umpteen kids with her) and tell my genius that he and mom-to-be would be raising children down there for the next 10 years.
Of course I would be feeding them matzoh three times a day on account of that being the only thing flat enough to slip under the door, which would remain locked for at least a decade.
Not Nicola Patten, her only concerns are: “Alfie is distraught and upset about everything. But Maisie (the child) is fine. Now that is in his mind and I’m not happy. I don’t know where they get this from. I mean, that’s my son, that’s his baby.”
Is she shitting me?
I’d be standing there at the front of that queue of geniuses who claim they mounted the village bike and going: “Look at Richard, the guy is a dead ringer for Maisie. I’d have picked you out of a thousand candidates. No doubt about it Rich, she’s got your nose and if you don’t carry on claiming paternity I have a group of criminal clients who owe me big favours and who’d be happy to give Maisie your nose as a birthday present.”
Can you Adam and Eve this?
Apparently a fight has now broken out between the Pattens and the Steadmans (wenners to a man) about who does the interviews with television, radio and newspapers. Me? I’d be telling the Steadmans that if they even mention the kid or my family they’d be waking up to severed horses heads in their beds every morning. (That vets a marvel. No matter what I ask him it’s never too much trouble).
Mind you the government (Mrs Traps) would take it quite calmly. She’d turn on the oven, open the door, climb in and close the door behind her.
Has society really fallen this far that our most precious gifts, our children, are turned into media circus clowns in order to bring in a quick buck? Is it any wonder that we keep hearing about child slavery, sex trafficking and prostitution if this is the way parents behave? This is not being progressive, this is insanity.
What do you think will become of Alfie and Chantelle? Do you think these children have any chance whatsoever of growing into sane, well-adjusted adults who are capable of functioning normally within society?
Most likely they will land up feeling abandoned and rejected as another, even bigger moron, tries to set the new how-low-can-we-go record in Britain. The media in 2010 switching the spotlight to Mike Dementedanus from Plymouth who fathered octuplets at 9 before undergoing a sex change and joining a convent. Pictures at 11.
I’m not in favour of a nanny state but when things keep deteriorating the way they have been for decades now then all I can say is that the sooner there is stricter regulation, less sex education, firmly closed minds and corporal punishment, the better.
Cut off their goolies.
Eh, I was with you till I got to the sex education. Less sex education? No, just less of the abysmal tainted smut that the education departments of the world, those genii, foist upon our children and then tell us we’re Mother Grundies for rejecting outright.
A wondrous leaflet arrived home with my 12 year old son yesterday with the following gems in it:
It asks if he is an abuser or a potential abuser. (straight, no jokes)
It then goes on to inform him that raping little girls won’t cure AIDS.
Genius.
This whole tawdry saga is just revolting and it’s as much an indictment of us as of the main protagonists. It’s like the media circus around the mother of the octuplets born the other day. For that, IVF surely is for people who can’t have kids and want to start a family, not for a person who already has six (particularly when they’re living on welfare). I’m not going to go all fascist and say that someone potentially temporarily on welfare but fast approaching their ovulatory use-by date shouldn’t have a child by IVF but damn! So she can play the media circus because we want to know. So she turns her family into a ready-made, pop in the microwave soap opera.
So is it with young Alfie and Chantelle (by the way, I think it’s enormously tasteless to refer to her as you do above; she is a kid after all and not even officially old enough to be doing the deed, as it were – but you hadn’t lost me then like you did with the sex ed). The parents on the other hand need to get a life. Look, maybe my kid is out fathering sprogs when he’s not reading badly compiled sex education leaflets but I can’t imagine turning my kids into a prefab chicken lasagne for Sun readers with an IQ barely scraping double figures even if he did.
I just feel really, really sorry for this boy. My 12 year old looks positively university standard next to this guy; he barely even understands what he’s done by all accounts. I think his mother should be charged with something actually, as an example. I bet this child is receiving threats and his entire life is now messed up, if it wasn’t already….crazy.
And actually, the UK nanny state hasn’t created this but it’s cunning resurgence certainly hasn’t stemmed any tide. Don’t confuse ‘Labour’ with left-wing, socialist, liberal or libertarian agendas. New Labour are new order ‘socialist’ in their desperation for control over everything. The way to encourage better parenting is to empower parents, not disempower them by a range of measures designed to alienate them from their children (let’s not even get started on the work culture fostered by the government on an equality claim – everyone is equal in 70-hour weeks with unpaid overtime).
“TRAPS; a gentle look at…..”.
This time not such a “gentle look”, but than you don’t address politics, sport or humour. Or would you call this related to the oldest sport in the world?
And….if all else fails blame the media who make the story go around the world.
I say yes to corporal punishment, as for cutting off…eish. I’ve already been to initiation camp and back. No more cutting for me Mr Traps.
I’ve always wondered though how society gets shocked when things like this happen. Kids are no longer allowed to be disciplined by their parents and teachers. they watch all sorts of filth (which i didn’t have access to) on tv. They have no extra-mural activities, which gives the too much time to mess around. There are things called sex-parties these days (damn, i missed those).
High school kids have sex in malls and photograph themselves on their phones. this has been happening for a long time now, but parents act shocked everytime it happens.
I think if action isn’t taken now, we should cease being surprised them.
Talk about the sins of the fathers …..
Sadly, allowing children to have whatever they want, never denying them anything, and treating them with the deference and ‘hands-off’ approach demanded of parents by the Health and Safety goons in the UK, is finally proving its worth.
Children begetting children – and this from one of the world’s leading nations (well it says so in the media so it must be true!).
Be afraid – be very afraid.
CUT OFF THEIR GOOLIES ! ! CUT THEM OFF !(The grandparents, that is . . . all of them)
Traps,
The problem isn’t ‘sex education’; it’s the WRONG KIND of sex education. Only two programmes to prevent teen pregnancy have really worked.
Programme 1: “Surrogate” parenting
In this model, teens are paired up to go through ‘pregnancy education’ and it is made as ‘real’ as possible.
The girls have the test–the real test–and some of them are told they are pregnant. They will go through the next few months simulating the stages of pregnancy (but without the morning sickness, which is a shame because that would be a BIG deterrent, don’t you think?).
At each stage, the boy and girl go together for blood tests. urine tests, ultra-sound readings, etc. so they can learn how it feels. They are shown an amniocentesis (the needle alone is a great deterrent to getting pregnant!) This is where it gets interesting.
Both kids are provided with an expanding pregnancy ‘tummy’ that they must wear 24/7. The weight is increased on a weekly basis from ‘month 5′ until they are carrying a full term baby weight four weeks later. They learn Lamaze and the various methods of delivery. And then, they see an actual birth–on large screen tv. Those who survive this go on to the next stage.
Each teen receives a ‘baby’–a computerised doll–that is pre-programmed to do what babies do and do it at random times through the whole 24 hour cycle. The kids are required to do everything that real parents would do: change diapers, hold crying babies, prepare bottles for ‘feeding’, bathe the baby, carry it around as required, etc.
Before the programme, a fair percentage of kids think it would be ‘cool’ to have a baby (and many think they would ‘get welfare’ so they could drop out of school). After the programme, fewer than .5% say they still think it would be ‘cool’ to have a baby whilst they are still in their teens.
Overall, the teens are strongly averse to becoming pregnant and the girls are committed to practising birth control as well as ‘safe’ sex. The boys are usually very poor at looking after the ‘baby’ (it interferes with their preferred activities) and this re-enforces the majority view amongst the males that having a child would change their lives forever and NOT in a good way.
The majority of kids who complete this form of ‘sex education’ also say that they would not consider marriage until their late 20s or 30s now that they know a bit about how hard it is. (The other aspect that they experience is the cost of medical care. They are ‘billed’ for every blood test, doctor’s visit, lab test, etc. and finally for a delivery. 20% will have to ‘pay’ for a Caesarian, just as in real life.) These costs are daunting and to teens with limited means, they can be overwhelming.
Programme 2: this is aimed at girls ‘at risk’.
The pilot programme took place in the Baltimore school system. Girls who showed a favourable response to a survey on teen mothers were enrolled. (Many of them already had at least one baby!) The girls were PAID not to get pregnant over the course of an entire school term. They received the money on a weekly basis as an incentive to stay with the programme. During that term, the girls also learned about what happens to their bodies during and after preganacy–including epesiotomy which is still widely practised in the US.
The combined effect of ‘reality sex education’, visiting hospitals for sick kids and working with handicapped children for several hours a week, meeting teen mothers who volunteer to be interviewed because they want to discourage other girls from doing what they did, (NO “JUNOS’ HERE) and finding out just how little ‘public assistance’ they would receive to ‘stay home and look after the baby’, has a salutary effect. Most of the girls stay on the programme until they finish high school and most of them go on to tertiary education because they have discovered the advantage an education gives them in economic terms.
I have not followed these programmes in recent years; they originated in the late 80s and early 90s but they received the endorsement of the national teachers’ unions in the US. (Especially having male students wearing the simulated pregnancy pouch which was a huge eye-opener for them with regard to the physical strain of carrying a baby.)
I had difficulty–at first–with the concept of ‘paying’ girls not to get pregnant. Reducing the issue to a financial transaction was repugnant. But I can’t argue with the success of the approach. It must be handled sensitively and the girls must have close supervision through the process to assess their ‘values development’ but if done diligently by both the girls and their teachers and counsellors, this approach can work.
The schools also benefited from the programme by having the highest retention rate of students and a major increase in students who were accepted at colleges and universities.
Sex education that is limited to ‘information’ or ‘abstinance’ is not enough for today’s teens. They have to ‘feel it to believe it’.
Despite the charm of the screenplay, the makers of ‘Juno’ have a lot to answer for. It would not surprise me if there was a ‘Juno factor’ in the Steadman/Patten case.
And I agree with you, Traps, the mother is mental.
Dear Traps the problem isn’t sex education but lack of accountability and dreadful ignorance. These people have no sense of right and wrong or responsibility.
Truth to tell, I was at school with similar people in the 50s and 60s. It just didn’t make the press in those days. Perhaps if the press ignored them, they would go away as they’d have no exposure.
Otherwise, extreme scorn is required – take the baby away from them and sterilise the lot to set an example that negilience doesn’t pay. Sounds rough, but it would prevent more unfortunate kids being placed on the earth and we can do with fewer anyway.
They are having a DNA test.
Sorry sordid mess the whole shebang. But hey it’s the First World right? Let them sort out their mess while we shake our heads in amazement.
At least it’s not the Windsors hogging the scandal pages for a change.
Now let’s go back say 160 years, girls regularly got married at 15 (ie my great great aunt). My great, great uncle ran away from home and arrived in Natal in 1854 at the ripe old age of 11. He went on to create a brick factory in PMBurg (later owned by Corobrick), had a large family and even has a road named after him (Chatterton Road).
Perhaps we have not changed much in 160 years, let alone say 2000 years.
Of course, those juvenile exploits did not hit the press as it does now. Perhaps 99% of juvenile exploits still don’t. (ie My junior school std 5 friend had sex with his classmate at age 12. Lucky for them nothing came of it as one can imagine the sort of press statements in the 1960′s blou rokkie zuid afrika.)
“Do you think these children have any chance whatsoever of growing into sane, well-adjusted adults who are capable of functioning normally within society?”
They have some chance. If they were children of South Africa’s ‘failed revolution’ they would have no chance.
The grim destiny of an SA baby born in similar circumstances is the chance of being discovered before the contents of the pit toilet closes over their heads. That’s the recurring reality. Maybe get the plank out of your eye and take a look at that.
Pay gorls not to have children is the only sensible approach – with tertiary education bursaries to start with. Forget boys – they can only think with the small brain in their teens.
We do the opposite – of our 14 million grants, 8 million are for child support.
Sounds more like Maisie’s mother should be spayed than Alfie’s.
And with all the claimants to be father it seems that a DNA test is called for, to see who Maisie really belongs to.
Hahahaha, these are perfect candidates for the Jerry Springer Show!!! Its inconceivable. The tragedy in all of this is the web we weave, if it so happens that good old Alfie is not the Dad, he is going to be so aggrieved and scarred for life POTENTIALLY hating and untrusting of all women. Thanks to chasing the quick buck,we have a potential abuser in our hands.I suppose the other boys will feel just as betrayed. Good God..what with Chantelle qualifying for a flat next year when she turns 16? Insane
I remember seeing the headline for this story in the paper the other day but I was late for work and didn’t have a chance to read it.
Later my girlfriend brought it up at gym and we both agreed on how shocking it is for a 13 year old to have made a girl just as young pregnant. I then made a comment about not believing this could happen in South Africa and she corrected me by saying it was a British kid.
Suddenly all my apprehension went out the window and I replied with a calm “Oh, that explains it then”. Seriously, has the British youth really lost the plot THIS much? I think so, you need only visit the country to see how disgustingly the kids behave and how little respect they have for anything.
There needs to be some sort of intervention there, I don’t know what, to change the mindset of the youth. It’s so negative its scary. If it keeps on at this rate, we’ll soon be seeing more and more 10, 11 and 12 year old girls falling pregnant… from either boys the same age, or 20+ year olds.
You need to bring back the press gang and keel hauling for that lot I am afraid. They were the scum of the earth then and I don’t think much has changed since the Battle of Waterloo
I wish they would tell kids what our parents told us.
“Stay away from boys they have germs and are filthy and they give you babies!”
It worked
lol
Ooof! I spose if you write a lot some rubbish has to slip through.
Actually, I think your reaction probably centres around your own embarrassment: How embarrassed you would be if your children were involved.
I don’t think that’s a mature position.
I agree this case (which I don’t think, by the way, can be described as “deteriorating the way they have been for decades”) was badly handled, but I venture to submit that your way (exaggerated for comic effect, sure) – or call it your knee-jerk initial reaction, would be worse.
When your kids get into trouble, what can you do? Stand by them, and try not let YOUR embarrassment make things worse.
Times were very different in the mid-1800s so what sad things went on then shouldn’t apply to today.
I personally think the whole situation is quite quite dreadful, very young children having sex, a young girl, seemingly, having sex with numerous partners etc. And yes imo the parents are to blame in various ways.
What happened? I was waiting for somebody…anybody…to say ‘why the hell wasn’t the kid out playing cricket or tennis or rugby…what the hell was he doing thinking about girls anyway?” and all you guys are talking about is sex education…what about the idea that a 12 year old, or a 16 year old of either gender shouldn’t be having sex. My pal the doctor, like your pal the vet, said it was weird but ‘what would a 16 yr old girl see in a 12 yr old boy? 16 yr old girls have enough trouble communicating with 16 yr old boys” [and he’s the father of 2 mid-late teen boys…who are playing cricket, rugby and tennis.
And yes, both ghastly families belong on Jerry Springer; maybe after they’re all spayed/neutered.
Eish. as you say, locally.
Wow, I’m surprised it didn’t happen here in the US. Oh wait, it probably has – just didn’t make the news because it wasn’t unusual or stupid enough …
Wonkie Cartoon now up.
La Quebecoise asks why we didn’t ask why this kid wasn’t out playing sport? It’s because sink estates and their ilk in the UK don’t have that kind of culture. The prevailing culture in much of the UK other than the horsey set is to spend one’s free time (which there’s a lot of if you don’t bother to attend school) mucking around, drinking lager, spitting at grannies and having sex. It’s just how it is.
So the question never really arose.
If you’re asking it in a metaphorical ‘why don’t all the kids like Alfie engage in sport instead of thinking about girls’ sense, ask parents and the UK government. They, like many other genius types around the world, generally like to spend money on entrenching their own power base and their own stuff (parents and the govt) rather than where it really matters. So the parents get to claim grants for all their kids and spend it on blue mascara and lager and sit around and the kids learn to do likewise. No point going to school and doing sport and stuff because it doesn’t help you get what you claim you are ‘entitled’ to. Plus sport is expensive really so parents surely don’t encourage it.
Don’t get me wrong, welfare is great. Just not as a lifestyle.
Matt, why would you suppose this only happens in the UK?
There are many stories of this happening within our own communities in SA. The problem/challenge with us is that we hide this kind of stuff within our communities. The press doesn’t report it. Even crime in certain suburbs or most townships doesn’t get equal reporting. If you ask SAP communications they’ll tell you they got instruction that this would tarnish our image overseas.
so we hide our dirt instead of dealing with it. Remember the incidents in Cape Town of high-school AND primary school kids having sex and recording it on their cell-phones? This stuff happens, but our conservative nature leads us to keeping this situation mum. Just because these kids were exposed on TV doesnt mean they’ve stopped
Chizama rests…
Alfie Patten still has a squeaky voice and looks about nine. If he’s the father of this kid I will eat my jumbo-sized pack of contraceptive pills.
What we (the worldwide we) needs is more and better sex education. One sees far too many young girls raising children. I have seen so many young South African kids with kids and too many British teens with prams and it is a real shame. Most cases are not sickly published as this one was.
It is also crass that this story makes the news and treated as entertainment news to cheapen it further.
In many parts of North Africa girls marry at puberty (about 12).
Usually, however, their husbands are older.
Age of consent is 13 in Spain. Lowest in Europe today is Vatican City, where it is 12.
I was quite sure it was 12 in Holland, but maybe they changed the law and took it back to 16.
Age of consent in England was 12 for females since 1275, and remained so for 600 years. Was raised to 13 in 1875, because young girls were being sold to brothels. Was later changed to 16.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe