“BEE company wins 10-year contract to feed Kruger visitors:

“A black economic empowerment group has been given a multimillion-rand contract to run all restaurants in the Kruger National Park, in Mpumalanga. The group has signed a lucrative 10-year contract with the South African National Parks to operate the Kruger’s 12 restaurants.” – UPI

The reporter from UPI’s hearing aid must have failed. It should read “BEE company to feed Kruger visitors to animals”. As confirmation, when asked how the animals found the tourists, the head gamekeeper replied: “Delicious.”

The work of the group is to ensure that the tourists run from all restaurants in the Kruger; not to run the restaurants themselves!

After they’ve had lunch, during which they’ve read the local crime-riddled newspapers, tourists are advised that that they are required to use the park’s ATM … which comes as quite a blow after what they’ve just read about local ATMs and occasioning a stampede into the bush, right into the wildlife.

An obvious downside is the fact that 90% of the Kruger’s wildlife is now camped out around the 12 restaurants with the balance of the park devoid of anything but illegal aliens crossing the borders …

A former highlight for visitors, watching animals hunt each other down, replaced with formerly hostile species frolicking with each other on the lawns, awaiting the post-lunch tourist stampede.

Worse, imagine the Kruger tourism video:

“Deep in the heart of Africa lies the Kruger National Park, 24-gazillion hectares of wild, untamed territory … populated by 32-billion species of ferocious animals, congregated around 12 … um … er … watering holes.”

Instead of the great videos of lions killing zebras:

“And there, deep in the bush, lies the majestic African lion … well, deep in thought behind that potplant on the lawn by Nandos, but I digress … Wait! He’s picked up on the scent of something. Crouching low, he’s off! He pounces on a … um … er … what appears to be … a wild Asian Japanese tourist … shit!”

• None

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 at 9:27 pm and is filed under Perspective. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.