Nye nye nye… My life is better than yours Look at me, I am better Look at my strife, it is harder Look at my success, it is worthier Look at my life, it is richer Nye nye nye… my life is better than yours Nye nye nye… My pictures are better than yours I’ve…
Below is an Excerpt from Chapter 1 (unedited) of a book I was writing and abandoned because I can’t find a willing publisher. The working title is “How to be Fat Effectively”. Apparently no one would buy this book. The working title is meant to be a joke, the work is satirical, not actually designed…
This has been a long time in the making and I apologise to my detractors and supporters alike for it taking this long to pen the follow-up to “I blame your mother for your laziness” which came in for much debate, as anticipated, and I hope that it opened people’s minds to how most men…
I was watching the news yesterday for some reason, I must have been either really bored, comatose or my housemate was forcing “current affairs” (aka what the media is punting for their mates that day) on me and I saw a report on some of the commentary that was presented on the State of the…
Why do women in Johannesburg have to be so lazy?! To say that I am a traditionalist would be a wild inaccuracy. Yes, I am a proud Zulu man. Yes, I do actually count Zulu royalty among my ancestors. Yes, I believe there should be a clear head of the household and it should wear…
Yup, Valentine’s Day is coming up again this month, that rip-off of monumental proportions only eclipsed by that fat-guy-in-a-red-bodysuit scam that comes conveniently around bonus time. Am I the only person who worries that being a Santa Clause in a mall would be the sweetest gig for a paedophile? Excuse the pun, but it must…
It was a normally lonely Wednesday evening for me as I sat on the couch rapturously gulping down a dozen Castle Lagers in order to be drunk enough to pass out and fall asleep some time before midnight. I have a problem sleeping, you see, and since I think sleeping tablets are the preserve of…
Agnes is the lady who comes around every Tuesday to do our housework and make sure the house I share with a housemate, D-dog, doesn’t deteriorate to hygiene levels below that of an Eastern Cape farm’s pigsty. I think I have fallen for her and it took her being away for three months or so…
I don’t read much, I am black after all, but I found myself perusing the sacred pages of the weekly Sunday Times yesterday evening. You see, my housemate buys the paper, I think out of habit more than anything else because he constantly complains about the content now carried on the pages. And since there…
I reiterate — I love beer. The golden nectar is truly a gift from the Almighty. There is a quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin that goes “beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy” and I believe that this may not be far from the truth. My happiest moments have…
