“A voice cries out in the desert: ‘Prepare the way for the Lord! Make his paths straight!’ ” — Somewhere in the Good Book.
The Mayans said the world would end in 2012 and we laughed them off. Then we started having all these fulfilments of end-of-days scenarios. All manner of evil upon the land; skinny jeans, Kurt Darren, load-shedding and major roadworks on Gillooly’s. Inexplicable weather phenomena, snow in Lesotho in November? Durbanites sleeping under blankets two weeks from December? Pirates, Chiefs and Sundowns all won matches on the same weekend, yet none of us took note.
The Good Book foretold it. Floods (in the wonderfully named Cockermouth), famine, war (including AfriForums fatwa against the very name Tshwane), son (Mbalula) turning against father (Mthethwa), false prophets proclaiming fake messiahs (Pastor Ray and his fawning over our Great Musical Conductor). A nation thrown into strife as prophesised. Crying out for redemption that had failed the false starts that came before.
Then as all hope was lost the lone voice cried out from the wilderness (of his mind?) and proclaimed the coming of the rider on the white horse as foretold in that massive acid trip known as the Book of Revelations
Himself resplendent in white skin and like the First Coming he came from amongst us, unassuming and humble, Jeremy Cronin, the white messiah to salvage SA. Proclaiming a message of equality and unity, misinterpreted as Marxism by the uninformed. A master whose verse and metaphor was understood by few, derided by many.
The young naysayers raged, crying heresy, racism and all manner of sins against our Sentinel, then as if on cue, celestial confirmations, a star glowing in the dark, in the wasteland deserts of the East Rand, dazzling the ignorant, throwing non-believers into a frenzy and his Coming was confirmed.
All hail Cronin, lord messiah sent from heaven.
I hadn’t even realised that Jem was the Messiah until our latter-day Juju the Baptist said it. His superior Messiah-spotting skills are obviously another of his talents!
(Actually, to be honest I barely noticed Jem at all till St. Juju said he was the one but that was just political ignorance, not wilful denial at dawn and all, ja?)
funny start… but where exactly did it go and what point did your article make…?
What the hell are you on about?
The best laugh I have had all day!
Cronin’s just been put very squarely in his place, hasn’t he?
Cronin the “doom messiah” had failed the test of time. Communism had failed centuries ago, remember the Warsaw Pact, Emperior Mao. Take cuban for as classical example an tell me what do see? Enter SACP on the stage without any smell or taste of what defied them. SA microeconomic fundamentals were on build capitalist foundation, that a fact of life.
What do you smoke? Can i also have some? Or please take me with you to your planet. That’s if you know where it is.
The one thing that surprises me is that Julius Malema proposes the nationalisation of mines. In essence he was introducing a debate. Then Jeremy Cronin enters the debate and reason against the nationalisation of mines. And Julius snaps and calls Jeremy a white messiah. The ANCYL must do two things; continue engaging in debates and stop insulting those who do not agree with them or stop engaging in the national discourse because they can’t handle the heat.
On point Bongs. But, the links…Goodnewsarticles and Sacredtexts. Have you read the actual Bible?
It’s not yet two weeks from December. Hope you weren’t talking about this year.
How about one in counterpoint now? I might enjoy that too…
Great entertaining writing, but maybe undertone too sarcastic? What’s the reference to his whiteness got to do with anything except to spread around the the droolings of the ANC’s village idiot?
Am I missing something here??? Or is the writer truely related to ‘the butcher of Anthems?
You are forgetting someone…all hail the Dark Lord Julius and his fork tongue too!
If Cronin is the Messiah, then Malema should be able to pull off a pretty convincing spawn of Satan (not enough rank or conniving deviance to convince us he is the big guy himself).
My idea of real comedy would be to watch those two morons playing chess against eachother in their fluffy little God and Devil outfits with a fake lightning and thunder machine adding the amateur theatrics to suit the occasion…
The best “fence sitting” article I’ve ever read. Keep on keepin’ on.
hahahaha…….funny but on a serious note now what was the point of your article???
Confused, I am confused as well
I have some questions…and points to share.
ANCYL is well represented at Brett Kebbels funeral, why?
BEE interests in the mines are under threat due to economic crises and low yield of SA gold mines.
Nationalization of mines will cost the tax payer for the benefit of a few.
Who is paying for Mr Malema’s lifestyle?
Why is the discourse from the ANCYL on nationalization so thin?
What would be the point of nationalization be if the govt. of SA already owns the mineral rights and by virtue derives income therefrom?
Just asking.
“Siyabonga Ntshingila is a walking example of how not to go through life productively.”
This is just hilarious! Both Crony-pie and Juju-doll have lost the plot. Julius however sunk low by refering to his race.
Bra you’ve mastered the art of Sarcasm…judging by some of the comments I think you should hold classes…
Hilarious!!!!
BTW Chiefs & Pirates lost again izolo…the end of times…HKKKD HISS!!!!
Nice one Bonga! LOL!!!
It was the sumerians, 3800 year cycle, not the Mayans who have a 5000 year cycle, needless to say the is a place on nubiru for u ……