- (Disclaimer: Excuse the language in this blog. I’m posting it from an internet café and I’m seated next to two giggly teenagers on Facebook)
Apologies for going AWOL on you. I wrote my blogs as is our deal. Honest. But the dog ate my blog. Well, not that kind of dog. Let me explain.
To post blogs I need the internet. For the past three years I have done so via my MTN Fastlink HUAWEI HSDPA E220 USB 3G Modem. For some reason I cannot fathom, I can’t connect to the world wide web on my PC. Instead, I keep getting an error message; “Write Configuration to registry failure”. After a 2-hour session of nothingness this morning at the MTN agent where I bought this piece of excrement, the error message had changed to “Error: 678 Cannot connect to remote computer” or some other arbitrariness I take to mean, “We’ve got the internet, you don’t”. This is a much bigger deal than you might think, especially when one has deadlines to meet. As I write this, I have just emailed a customer a column, 1.5 days late. That does not augur well for my future beer consumption.
Up until three years ago, all my internet usage had been restricted to computer laboratories in our institutions of progressively mediocre learning, internet cafés and corporate world PCs. In other words, whenever I hit a technical glitch, it was always someone else’s problem. All I had to do to get joy was to eyeball some techno-geek to sort it out for me. Pronto. And be all unreasonable and throw hussy fits as I went about it too. It was paradise.
But now I’m on my own. Now when something goes wrong, my first port of call is to figure out if I can work it out on my own. Owing to my notorious technophobia, this never works out. When I first got my MTN 3G modem, my second port of call would be to call the MTN Customer Care Helpline, 173. I discovered pretty quickly that “customer care” is a term used as loosely as an Oxford Road nightwalker uses the term “virtuous” in MTN Customer Care circles.
Let’s ignore the irritable woman who wastes what seems like two days rattling off 189 options of what you could possibly want — except the one thing you do need help with. And that includes whether you want to change your language or not. I’d like to remain Zulu-speaking thankyouverymuch — especially with the incoming regime. And then she gets all prissy with you for not selecting any number between 1 and 189 followed by what sounds suspiciously like, “Oh ferchrissakes, let me give you those options again”.
After what seems like a five-day drawn Test match during Kepler Wessels’ Proteas captaincy, I get the unmistakable sound of a suspiciously human-sounding voice on the other side.
Human Voice (in perfect KZN Zulu): UMbongeni lo ngingakusiza ngani? (This is Mbongeni. How may I help you?)
(I almost jump for joy. Help AND we’ll have this convo in IsiZulu, which means I can just cut through the chase without having to refine my demeanour and put on false polite airs.)
Me: Yebo mfanakithi. Nansi i-3G ingenzela amasimba la. Ngithi ngizama ukuyikha… (It’s my 3G. There’s a problem with it…)
Mbongeni: Eish, your line is very bad. I can hardly hear a word you’re saying. I think it’s where you are. Perhaps you want to go and find a better spot or call us back…
Me: Are you seriously blaming me and where I’m positioned for MTN’s network coverage issue?
(This is the point I realised that I’m talking to — and I say this advisedly — an idiot.)
Idiot: Akukhulunywa kanjalo mfwethu. Yin’ le oyishoyo? (That’s no way to talk to me.)
Me: Which way is that? I am, after all, calling you from an MTN SIM card and the line is bad. What is your suggestion about what I’m supposed to do? How can I improve MTN’s customer service from here…
It was a short conversation because Mbongeni dropped the call at this point. I am not quoting the conversation verbatim, obviously. It is just from my recollection. But MTN claim to reserve the right to record conversations between their high-calibre call centres and their customers. Assuming anyone at MTN cares enough to verify my claim, this conversation started at 14h10 and ended at 14h11 on Wednesday, the 15th of April 2009. The idiot operator’s name was Mbongeni. I would lick him in a fistfight, for the record. This is a direct challenge.
As a matter of fact (if anyone at MTN cares) please check out other calls I made on the 15th of April to a charming (albeit not very useful) lady called Nozipho (21h31 — 21h44) who assured me that I’d receive a call from her supervisor when he/she returned from some ball-scratching session all the supervisors were in before 22h30. I think there’s an anthrax problem in these places because there seems to be a lot of ball-scratching and not much help forthcoming. Their help is restricted to telling you to take out your SIM card, spit on it, add a dash of piss to it, moonwalk over it and then re-insert into the modem. Or something of that sort. I went to bed as internetless as I’d been when I’d woken up that morning — seven calls later.
So I started calling again, culminating in a call to another very polite fellow who goes by the name, Shane (April 16, 13h26 — 13h37). By this time I wasn’t calling the 173 Helpline but 1555, which I was told is where all the experts were. Then Shane let me in on a little secret that the 1555 Helpline was reserved only for contract MTN customers and that when Pay-As-You-Go customers call 1555, they might believe they are talking to the super-agents at the Technical Helpdesk but are, in fact, diverted to the anthrax victims at the 173 Helpdesk. Not Shane’s words, mine. You see, I’m already being screwed over by on a Vodacom contract and have never seen the point of another contract. Still; I spend around R300 a month on internet usage from my MTN Pay-As-You-Go. Yet I don’t have access to the super-agents who also couldn’t help me earlier when I was at the MTN shop. (For reference: 2341341)
But none of this has anything to do with the point of my rant. I’m sick and tired of this. A few months ago I wrote a piece titled “Are we starting to get it?” — in which I was praising the service I received at the Ora Bella restaurant in Boksburg. In that piece I made the assertion that I was starting to see signs that South Africans are starting to get the gist of what customer service about. I made bold predictions that by the time the tourists started pouring into this country for the 2010 World Cup, we’d be ready for them.
I’m not so convinced any more. Efficient, satisfactory and customer-oriented service is still an exception to the rule in this country. Brilliant service that takes one’s breath away is still a drop in an ocean of indifference. From the giggly girl at the Musica counter who blamed me for not having exact change for my R257.98 purchase. To the Kwik Fit lady with horsey features who practically accused me of being a con artist when I tried to point out that the grease monkeys in her workshop had forgotten to return my spare wheel to its pit in my boot after a tyre change. From the Renault service department that returned a vehicle after a tune-up that needed to be towed within three weeks. To the waitress in a Rosebank grill house who refused to bring me an ice bucket so I could personally chill the warm beers she was serving us.
The best that we consumers/customers can do is to bitch about bad service as loudly and as publicly as we can. Tick. And then disengage from those service/product providers. But guess what — I don’t think anyone at MTN cares enough about my gripe about the standard in their call centre(s) to get away from Facebook long enough to give a damn about my dissatisfaction. If they are sufficiently moved to do anything, it will be a long-winded statement about how troublesome/stupid/wrong their customers are. I call it the “This hospital would run like clockwork if patients didn’t fuck it up by showing up”.
The customer might not necessarily always be right. But by God and sunny Jesus, please let him be king.
silwanekanjila@gmail.com
Was wondering where you disappeared to.
At times like this I am reminded of a friend who had had been rear-ended and tried to get a quote on it the next morning. This was last year on a public holiday. And yes, we had been partying sprawled across somebody’s yard listening to our poor unfortunate friend who had been going strong for two hours talking to various customer services and call centers. It all ended with him shouting, “You have done nothing to make my life easier!” then proceeding to join the party. That is what we expect from the service industry, to make our lives easier whenever we run into difficulty. Lately when I have crap service, that is what I tell the person, I do not curse, or act unpleasant, all I say in an ordinary tone is, “You have done nothing to make my life easier.”
“This hospital would run like clockwork if patients didn’t fuck it up by showing up”. That’s the best quote I’ve read in ages!!
So true.. but Facebook should be blocked at the providers’ offices, and only available during lunch hour, productivity would go through the roof!
ndumiso
“Me: Yebo mfanakithi. Nansi i-3G ingenzela amasimba la. Ngithi ngizama ukuyikha… (It’s my 3G. There’s a problem with it…)”
he he he
man, i dont care what you do, but please get your network connection back…we’re missing this laugh, badly.
yerrr, you remind me of eskom…they’re exactly like that. we get power outages in our area, i quickly go to isigubhu to verify the phone number, and luckily , i find a toll-free number, i try to connect to someone to assist. then the 20 minutes waiting begins. and dont forget that, i’ve got to bear with annoying adverts of how grate is the entity and mindnumbing music in the background!
i can feel your frustration, silwane.
Yeah, the service here in s.a generally leaves much to be desired especially Durban restaurants! At the News Cafe at Suncoast, my mates and I waited for over 30mins just for one of the seven or so idle waitresses to bring us menus. We then waited a further 40mins for our drinks and for what seemed like a week for our food which arrived cold! The manager was very nonchalant about the whole thing and just could not understand what we were so hot and bothered about. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad service. (spits on the floor in disgust)
I feel for you! I got shafted when my iPhone broke and I had to buy a new one :/
But that’s a VC story. I agree about the bitchin…
uninstall, reboot, re-install : Problem solved.
Operating Systems (Windows XP,Linux etc) /Applications (MTNF@stLing HSPDA App, MS Word etc) /Protocols (3G, HSPDA etc) have many bugs.
Get used to it.
I thought I was the only dinosaur left using Telkom landline. But now I am grateful. I think my husband and I would go nuts to be off line like that for so long.
Very true and funny! I had the same problems with MTN Mobile banking, It sounded like a convenient solution until you try to get help from them! I had to cancel and I know they did not care about it! They get paid whether they help us or not!
What service people should be taught is “look for ways of solving the customers problems”. But instead from the moment you open your mouth they are thinking of reason for not helping you, like you will know how their internal structures work!
Hopefully we will see some improvement in the future!!!
Ndumiso
I wonder how you would feel if you called DSTV. i called them a month ago about the money they are charging me. i downgraded to the Compact product two month ago and last month i called them to inquire as to why they are charging me R349. That selfhelp machine was a nightmare and i am still waiting for them to give me a statement. a lady i spoke to told me they did not charge me for February. Now this brings me to ask them the following questions:
1. Am i responsible for debitting my own account?
2. Is it my problem if they did not Debit my account and what happens if they did not debit my account?
3. Is my contract with them a month or two months?
To crown it all i just received a statement that i must pay them R608 for a compact.
WELLCOME TO THE LEAGUE.
Bahlakanipha ngokusebenzisa ama Call Centre. Ngabe bamabokoboko manje induku. Beyisa kabi. They think internet is a luxury for commenting on Thought Leader. They don’t realise that some of us have work to do and it depends on it. Awubatshele Silwane mfo wakithi.
Eish! Been there, done that. With Vodacom, MWeb Mnet et all. Telkom doesn’t even … well how do describe abysmal service where you can hang on for hours to be asked ‘how may we be of excellent service?’. Sympathy. I once had every indication that my cell was on and working, but no service. Several calls, a long trip to Vodacom shop. Everyone mystified. Eventually switch cell off and on again. Voila! I suppose that was the equivilent of a moonwalk. Good luck resolving your hassles.
A friend of mine who used to work at the call centre told me,they have a special way of “sorting out” the customers who huff and puff over the phone.It’s termed “I will teach this bastard a lesson,I will let him hold and then cut him/her off”.Nobody has the opportunity to see this coming as it comes down like a ton of bricks.The call centre agent will act all tolerant,calm and taking all your crap.The window of opportunity then comes “Hold on Sir I will transfer you to so and so” or “let me call my supervisor for you”.Meanwhile the CCA is taking a break to make her/himself some tea or to check on MIXIT or Facebook.After about 10mins she/he cuts you off!
Frankly most CCAs are a bunch of useless farts! From DBN to Grahamstown,I had a car breakdown somewhere near East London.My battery had died.My friend offered me his cellphone.For some stupid reason he punched his pin code and my sim got blocked.Getting my PUK was a nightmare as the CCA refused to help me because I dialled 173 using my friend’s airtime-less pay as you go card,when I should have dialled 808 with my blocked card.Duh!So we ended up spending the night with the owls because of that incompetent little fart behind the desk! So Mapholoba I feel your pain!
Woke up this morning. Tried to send an sms. Wouldn’t send.
Tried to maike a call. Wouldn’t go through.
Tried to check my airtime and sms budnle balance. Wouldn’t check.
15 minutes later. All was working fine.
Paying some of the worlds highest mobile rates = overrated.
Hilarious…nice one!
If you think customer service sucks then try being a black foreigner in South Africa….it sucks even more. You open your mouth and talk English and the guy replies back in Zulu and for some reason, he can’t understand why you don’t understand Zulu..i mean, doesn’t everyone one of the almost 1 billion inhabitants of Africa speak Zulu??!! From there on its downhill….a surly look comes over the guy’s face and they want to get rid of you..yes, the customer whose patronage pays his salary….asap! Its gonna be interesting to see what happens in 2010 World Cup.
‘Strue, bru. Did you hear the interview with the boss of ticket sales for ConFed and 2010?
Customers phoned in to complain of poor service from FNB (His response? He “didn’t believe” FNB people would not know what to do!) and about the internet-only approach, saying they didn’t have internet access (His response? South Africans must get with it. Germans got used to it. Things can’t just stay the same) and about the “good value” of “only” R70 for the cheapest seat when this is probably WAY behind the posts. The caller was saying that’s not good value (His response? When a rock star comes to sing you pay more for the front seat and less for the back seats, tough.
And so on.
Not once “Sorry about that”; Not once “Gee, I’ll look into that”; Nothing. The callers were wrong. And he knew that before he even started the interview.
Stuff him.
Ndumiso. Never, ever select the Zulu language with call centres. You more likely to get someone who’s disinterested and they expect you to understand and tolerate the bad service they give you.
Welcome aboard Ndumiso. Recently had similar xprnce with Discovery Health. They never tried to , and still haven’t resolved my problem, excpet to say they are sincerely sorry. And I lost money!! According to them it’s all my fault (I or service providers/pharmacists I used)..as we dont know the codes and methods of claiming. The srvice providers were recommended by them!!Their attitude: It’s my fault and I should have known. If I am not happy I can take my stinking business away, they know the next “competitor” will be just as bad if not worse. Can someone tell me please: Why is it that at Pick n pay/Checkers, the cashiers almost always do not have the 1/5 cent coin that is due to me as change & it’s never their fault?
Ndumiso you are so correct regarding MTN…
Experienced same thing regarding internet connections and MTN’s poor customer service.
I like that you write all the relevant reverence, its meant to come in hand some time later but I’m yet to see that…
Hope MTN bosses read your blog and rectify your problem. Ey just thought it was only me who noticed how prevalent poor customer service is in Mzansi!
Ncedo…
what you went through with DSTV happened to me exactly as you are reciting it!!! They billed me 1080.00 for a compact!!! Had to go through 3 operators before they got it right!
For the past 3 weeks I’ve noticed the checkoutpeeps at the PicknPay. The one in Brightwater, I had to talk myself into not letting rip a few offensive words in my own language, treated me like I was asking for the item i bought for free! The very next day at the killarney one, I had to practically force this woman to look at me, ring up my items, throw a pastic bag in front of me then ask her if i can pay as she totally ignored me – One more time I swear, it will be the headline in that days Daily Sun! Or howz this, I went for a tyre change at the Illovo Supa Kwik, about a year ago admitedly, but since then I do not go into any SupaKwiks, anywhere! I left my car there and came back an hour later only to spot the manager, young cocky Indian guy, driving off in my car! He was using my car to drop off a customer. I of course left without paying after another hour spent trying to get a clear answer as to how he could have the gall to do that! I was taking an out of town trip and never followed up on my complaint but know this business owners, it may seem like a small thing but I will avoid your particular brand of store for life and tell all my friends about it! Whats with the disgusting black on black service??!!
this one happened to me on surturday at southgate mall absa branch.
Me: hi can i open a account .
them: yes u can , can we have yo id .
(give them my id )
them: Sir they seems to be a problem with your id .
Me: what seems to be the problem .
them: it says here that you are south african.
Me: yes i am , whats the problem .
them : you can;t be south african coz you were born abroad .
me: does the fact that my mum gave birth to me overseas mean that i can;t be south african .
them: no we not saying that sir .
me : but u just said i cant be south african coz i was born abroad .
at that point my veins were about to pop , i asked for my id went next door , opened an account with fnb. absa your service sucks.
I got the same shaft with Vodacom till I moved to Virgin in hopes that British service might be better…
Bwahahaha, I purportedly have internet now, but it has the annoying habit of cutting off 84% through my downloads.
Effing British service!!!
Ah brother you’re a legend!
Which is exactly why our call centre market is being poached by India – who also speak English as their main language.
So nice to read a pleasant blog that isn’t bitching about the damned ANC.
This is why i cancelled my MTN contract. Bloody idiots didn’t realise that its better to allow a user to change from contract to PAYG than the user takes the MTN number and ports it. Wankers!!!
when that bi#^#s bank called ABSA screwed me on a monthly basis and i decided to leave them, they blacklisted me because of a overdraft i never applied for. Post any complaints on hellopeter.com and you’ll be amazed at how fast you get a concrete response from MTN.
Call centres…poaching…India…chicken…egg…Pot, meet Kettle. Alles is crap.
In a rare defence of service personnel, if I had to put up with some of the rudest customers in the whole world, I’d also not be on my best behaviour every day.
But damn, still…
TIA this is africa as leonardo said in his best so called african accent.i liked the hospital patients quote but unfortunately customer service is “are u getting a service” if its yes then as a customer u got nothing to complain about…customer service is reserved to those who are yet to receive our service as to those we need to keep being our customers…in malawi its non existant or open to interpretation…
Ndumiso try the wesite: http://www.hellopeter.com
They rate customer service and when you complain on the site they contact the service provider your have a problem with to see if the complaint was attended to or not.
MTN’s call centre service sucks!
You should try calling the SARS call centre.