If I told you that the system of capitalism depended largely on the spinelessness of the individual, I would hope that you’d take my word for it. I would hope that you wouldn’t get all technical on me and start regurgitating outmoded Economics 101 textbooks from your undergraduate days circa 1986.
Capitalism depends largely on the exchange of money for goods, which, in turn, involves the creation of the desire for said goods. The fancy term for this is marketing. Granted; the desire for certain goods does not even need to be created, it’s so natural. I’m thinking of basics such as wheat, fuel and transactional sex here.
Marketing is that set of activities in which an entrepreneur convinces would-be consumers to spend money on items that they had not planned on purchasing or had any need for. This is how people leave home intending to buy a sack of potatoes but end up buying booze, hookers and bubblegum, for instance. It is the cornerstone of the capitalist system. And spinelessness rests at the very core of the success of marketing activities. People who are impervious to overtures from marketers mess with this delicate balance and threaten the very survival of global economies.
I am typing this from the comfy seats of the Hi-D Lounge inside Terminal 2 of the Singapore International Airport at about 6.15am Sunday morning local time (12.15am South African time). I’m waiting for a connecting flight to Kuala Lumpur. Let’s not go there. The reason I’m sharing this is because I have just had an epiphany: I am one of these enemies of capitalism. If the average person in the world shared the same characteristics as I, capitalism would have collapsed long before the Berlin Wall did. I guess you could go ahead and call me a commie bastard.
It has just hit me that Singapore is completely wasted on me. As I type this, I am surrounded by what I assume are the very best brand names in the world of couture, technology and toiletries: Louis Vuitton, Laurentia, Gucci, MAC, Rolex, Tissot, Cartier, Nike and so forth. Nothing inside me is stirring. Oh, I have an acute appreciation for what my eyes are taking in. I’m married to a human female, you see. But my appreciation for all the fine things I am seeing is completely cerebral. My viscera are completely untouched; a state of being that any salesperson will quickly tell you is bad for business. If brains were used in purchasing decisions, economies would grind to a halt. Viscera, emotions and lack of spine are critical pillars.
The words I am using might leave you with a negative impression of this phenomenon. Hardly. This is a good thing for everybody concerned. Where would Sandton City be if people stopped buying things they didn’t need? And believe me when I tell you that I wish I didn’t have this personality defect. For starters, I wouldn’t mostly get around town in my wife’s first car, a 10-year-old Opel. I absolutely appreciate the attributes of a luxury vehicle. I have a friend who bought himself a Lexus a few months ago. It’s a brilliant car, practical and absolutely wonderful. And, by cutting back on a few non-essentials such as education for the kids, utility bills and milk in my tea, I could get myself one quite comfortably.
One might read this and conclude that what I’m describing is miserliness, tight-fistedness or extreme avariciousness. I’ve given this a lot of thought and come to the correct conclusion that it’s not. I really do not have any problems spending money. As a matter of fact, I do not even have problems giving money away to family for useless things, such as R10 000 for sacrificial bovines, much to my wife’s chagrin. I just lack an inclination to purchase things. I just don’t have a passion for it. I do not get any satisfaction or high from a newly acquired item of clothing, electronic gadget or … anything material, really.
I must confess that I really envy the look I often witness in my wife’s eyes when she’s unwrapping a new purchase. Her eyes light up as she excitedly describes to me the ingenuity of her special purchasing decision;
“There was another I saw at Menlyn last week almost just like this one but it didn’t have these thingamajigs over here. And guess what? I got this one R150 cheaper, can-you-believe-it?”
I didn’t experience that kind of excitement even when I walked into my first home. All I could think of was all the paint, new tiles and furniture that needed purchasing and how long it would take for the beer in the fridge to get to at least 10 degrees Celsius. Material things just do not induce the passion or state of sexual arousal that I witness in other people. If you’re a member of the SACP politburo and a revolutionary in the struggle for a national socialist agenda, you might be applauding and calling me “comrade” or some other unsavoury names like that.
But I’m not happy with this state. I consider it a weakness and impediment to my desire of upward mobility and entrenchment within the new black elite. You see, convincing people that one is a smart, ambitious black man deserving of a BEE deal is complex business. It hinges on a perception that one is indeed on the way up — or at least arrived in some meaningful manner. But when you rock up at social gatherings in a 1998 1400 Opel, dressed in a Woolies jacket-shirt-pants-and-shoes combo (totalling R1 200) people mistake you for a maths and science teacher. Not to mention that I have an East Rand address.
That’s correct; my personality disorder ensures that I’m an extremely shabby individual. If, for instance, my luggage was lost here in Singapore, the most valuable item would be my wife’s bag — part of a set of three of which she’s extremely proud. I just did a mental itemisation of the contents of the bag and put the figure at about R1 500. And I’m here for a week. I do not want to bore you with the details, so I’ll restrict myself to the number of pants I have in there:
1. A pair of black Woolies formal pants, purchased in 2004 — R160
2. A pair of Jet used-to-be-off-white chinos purchased in 2001 — R79
3. A pair of Hang-Ten denim jeans (too long and needing to be turned up) — R129
4. A pair of Stone Harbour denim jeans (tlantbtu) — R110
The pants in my bag cost less the meal I’ll have at the Kuala Lumpur Twin Towers tonight. The other day I had lunch with a certain newspaper columnist and he looked much, much sharper than I did. That’s right; I was out-dressed by a freaking wit ou! We can’t have that. I think we can all agree that there’s something seriously wrong with this picture. Each time I’m out with Fred Khumalo (this namedropping is especially for TL reader Gugu Kunene), his snazzy outfits cost more than the car I’m driving. As a result, I have decided to make a change. I need to learn to buy … things and stuff to avoid being a laughing stock. Drum roll, please.
I think that my Zulu ass would look great on the leather seats of a Mercedes-Benz C-class. Fuck the kids’ educations. I went to a Catholic mission school in the middle of nowhere in northern KwaZulu-Natal and I turned out alright. Plus, this year is my 20th high-school reunion. I can’t possibly arrive there in a 10-year-old Opel.
Of course, I’ll be most grateful for a sponsorship deal. Is anyone connected to Daimler-Chrysler?
silwanekanjila@gmail.com
Bra Ndu, I pity you, I really do. You are shopping-disabled and that is a miserable affliction. never will you know the unadulterated joy of finding that holy grail…the BARGAIN.
Denied to you is the heart-stopping pleasure of finding that the last pair of must-have shoes is not only on SALE (another of God’s beautiful words) but also in your size.
You will never know the agony of tramping the malls with aching feet, looking for just the right skirt/pants/shirt/jacket and then, finally, finding it in the last shop…the light from heaven streaming down to highlight the holy object. A sacred experience indeed.
I shall pray for you brother.
Ha ha, amen to that brother! The problem with blowing money on “image” is that you discover that (a) everyone thinks you’re a pretentious prick (b) you don’t get laid any more often (c) the novelty of the new car wears off after 2 months, but the payments remain (d) that luxury mansion is a BITCH to keep clean.
Down with Conspicuous Consumption!
You’re right there Rob, after a couple of months you stop noticing your car. It’s just a car.
The thing of it is though, everytime i fall into the trap, i swear it’ll be the last time.
Until the next time that is.
As for getting laid, if one needs a car to get laid; one has got bigger problems than one’s spinelessness.
Besides, it’s very difficult for people to know what car you drive inside a pub/lounge/club/party; unless ofcourse you’re on of those idiots who dangle their car keys on their fingers!
I concur – I must be a commie bastard as well and I am white! Brilliant article. I believe we have been bombarded over time with advertising and the whole media bashing to the point that we feel guilty when we don’t buy or as you were indicating feel an outcast.
I am rushing out to buy your book now – thanks and thanks again
From a “wit ou” with the same feelings. Best I’ve read for a long time.
Hi Ndu
Your thoughts and experience of not acquiring material things and the pressure to change to please others is normal for people who find the alternative an empty choice. I don’t think you should change drastically. The satisfaction of a new car, better house, clothes or holiday is shortened by the need to find something better when the things we have loose their gloss. This cycle seems to be an unachievable quest for happiness. If we didn’t desire to have the latest thing you wouldn’t be disappointed when it becomes outdated. In this way we could acquire things when we need without being trapped into thinking you need it to be happy. Ignore the thoughts of those still trapped.
Hahaha, funny reading. The biggest joke was this bit of hogwash: “People who are impervious to overtures from marketers mess with this delicate balance and threaten the very survival of global economies.”
good luck with your purchase!
Glorified Consumers are big spenders with sad lives. They don’t show much character but believe their image will speak on thier behalf – they are mostly
empty headed!
a man of intellect like you definitely deserves a merc, your intelligence is forever exudate just like the CLASS of a merc!
preciousssssssssssssssssssssssssss Ndumissssssssssssssoooooooooo, no need to veer in limbo between two corrupt ideologies that relegate the essence of the living to the economic paradigms moulded by a few – for the benefit of a few -
Fair Trade is the key.
Great, You may want to know that there is a lot of white people who feel the same and they are not commies, but – you don’t have to feel that you are a commie to feel what you described in the article. Quite amusing and insightful – enjoyed it.
Ndumiso,
Sorry, bra, you’ve just shortened your life expectancy, you can’t question the prevailing consumerist/materialist popular ideology in South Africa and expect to live long. No, you’ll be lined up against a wall pretty soon by a collection of BMW sales dudes, D&G sales poppies and Pam Golding realtors, all brandishing gold-plated AKs and hot for your blood.
Few people stop to think that if we continue this idiot ideology of “buying more is good, consuming more is good, all economic growth is good, population growth is good”, that we’re going to turn this planet into an overcrowded, overheating, polluted scrap heap, on top of which we’ll be perched eating sprouts grown in old car tires, bartering for antibiotics and antiretrovirals, and gazing at the fortified cluster homes of the wealthy, who, if current Jo’burg trends are anything to go by, will by then be lodged behind Israeli-style 50-foot concrete barriers.
A refreshing article, cheers.
You know, me I have given up on this young man. Each time I hang out with him, I do try my best to transmute my sartorial elegance onto him… to no avail. In the name of Mzikayise the Zulu, Mr. Ngcobo pull up your socks man. Consume. Keep these shopping malls in business! Casanova is not a prison, for crying out loud. It’s a men’s boutique in your hometown of Durbs. No one will arrest you for taking a few tentative steps towards the entrance of this establishment. If you are scared to go there by yourself, ask Msholozi to accompany you.
Well said, My head is agreeing with you; but then again I am reminded that the Joneses have have acquired those Ceramics to be died for. So my Bro if you don’t mind I will have to rush to Purchase these items coz I heard it’s the last day of the Conspicuous SALE. “The spirit is will but the flesh is weak”
Hey Ndu,
Well written. Being a snob or salesperson who think that they have to look better than us “peasants” to impress people so that they can more easily bulshit them is an expensive hobby. They have to look as if they are good at what they do although they are useless. In the past maybe “die vere maak die voel” meant something. To me wearing clean clothes that I can afford without keeping food from my family is what I buy. Woolies Botique is the place.
Dear Ndumiso,
I think you are confusing issues of communism, capitalism, and simple stinginess here. From my recollection communists were never against luxuries, in fact, the shopping malls that the ‘leaders’ went to were even fancier than some of the shops in the west!
But as for not wanting to spend money, that is maybe a good disease to have right now! Keep that credit card parked in your wallet and come home in one piece. Oh, and grab your wife a nice silk scarf on your way back!
All the best,
Shawn
You’re not missing out on anything. I am hooked on gadgets, and not being able to have the latest and greatest electronic marvel that has been thought up and is being pushed by marketers depresses me just a little.
I’m VERY happy to slowly be growing my appreciation for the basic things in life and seeing an proportionate decline in my desire for the bright and shiny.
Not so much capitalism, but more specifically consumerism, is massively overrated.
Ai and to think that the real commies,not the wannabees had luxury holiday homes at the Black
Sea and entertained their
wives,mistresses,girlfriends with the most decadent
luxury Western capital goods,they could lay their hands on.Ja,they even managed to string their kids
along.
PS.Please keep this all to yourself,one Russian revolution is enough,no need to upset the peasants all over again.
Fuze you are not alone. I for one have to come up with 10 “good” reasons before buying anything worth more than R300. My partner recently decided that i not look at the price tag/label…but damn its hard. I am 20-something and i worry that by the time i turn 40, i will only be buying two items of groceries. On the positive side i feel guilty for spend more and saving less so that has been always been by policy: save more and spend less. My wallet has no department store cards everything i own is bought cash…my partner is the opposite of me(HOW CRAZY CAN IT GET) I question the need everytime there is a new item bought at home…
Welcome on board combrade. This here Xhosa boy have never seen sense in labels with no meaning to me. D&G might as well be a pottery store for it has no meaning for me. my weakness i have to admit is little gadgets, laptops, car audio, home audio…a boy has to have some fun.
but as i’m reading your article i can just see Chika Onyeani developing more stress lines and shaking his head….When i was working at Exclusive Books Waterfront, i once sold a British tourist a copy of Mr Onyeani’s ” Capitalist Nigger”. He came back after 3 days looking even more paler than he was before and connfided that if africans even started practicing a quarter of what was in that book then the West was in real trouble.
Commie bastard…
May i suggest you talk to Tony Yengeni .. Now that he is back among the political elite perhaps he can happily introduce you to Daimler Chrylser, maybe you can get a discount … and join us . Chain of Black Diamonds with no Carat
Great article,
I think that ur article is more about ur lack of psychological and emotional satisfaction when acquiring things than communism. I suffer from the same psychological problem,and i’m a female, so I hope that you right another article once you have crossed over to the other side to let the rest of us know how its done.
Mr Ngcobo, you are a disgrace to black diamonds everywhere.
Aaahhhh my brother from another mother, this is me you’re describing here!!!
I think I was supposed to be a man coz honestly, I don’t like shopping and I dislike having to dress up for whatever reason!
I could spend the whole day with you and not notice that the shades you have on are actually D&G!!!
Does that make me a commie bastard too?
Great read bhut’ wam!
Eish Ndumiso
I have had a lot of discussion with my buddies about this, we have subsequently reduced it to a matter of self preference like the guy with an M6 but living in the slums. TO prove my point, I hope this does, who paid for your holiday…
Again just saying we choose to spend our money differently
C’mon Maan..u still in Malaysia !!!! ?
Thats tru ndu … its all about the person, lucky u dont need clothes to prove that u have a personality like a most of us have to.
come to think of it, do South Africans need 4by4 they mostly drve around in tarred roads and petrol rise every hour,aah I forgot We’ve got surplus grains we can go green,make diesel from maize,but my mother has asked to triple her allowance because she can longer afford loave of bread,hell man taxis has to do for now,but this girls who passes me with their x3 injuring my ego at least your suffering is by choice
Nah you’re not a commie bastard, more like a Red Square.
bru, you clearly have no appreciation for the meaning of “freedom”. Liberation is lost on you.
ndumiso
you have to be confined to some institution. you’ve become a threat to world (in)sanity.
this is what happens when a zulu spear-chugger is let loose on the web.
brutally honest!!
Thanx again for another thought, you are a TL. I am a woman and I’ve always bought what I NEED and my friends have always said I need an attitude ‘make-over’ cos a woman must always be ‘dressed’ up which equals to buying something new which means spending a good time in a mall which feel like an ‘air-con vaccum, seeing the depressed long faces searching for happiness/fullfilment. Glad to discover other ‘commies’ just like me.
Great read!
To all who share my disease; I’m sorry to hear it comrades.
I’m a bit distressed that after 32 comments and perhaps another 20 emails on this subject, not a single person has a cousin who works at Daimler-Chrysler. Not even one of my Indian friends. Et tu Kanthan?
Beautifully written. People must stop using material things as their source of happiness. There is more to life than fashion and fame. Clothes don’t make you a man!
At least you’re a commie bastard pushing a 98 Opel & geared in Woolies’ rags. Now picture a me that pushes a ’95 citi golf, being invited to all sorts of ego-stroking & BEE themed events. Trying to convince car valet guys that I’ll park my car myself, or being given “what-do-you-want-here” stares by the boom guy who’ll probably never own not even a 1989 citi golf.
Never mind tshomies that work at Daimler-Chrysler, just hang in there – the prices might drop (since they’re having such a hard time getting rid of the things anyway). Who knows? maybe the ’98 or 95 model drivers will soon be flashing their merc car keys at every and any event – you just have to love those car-key flashers who strangely enough actually attract their prey with these dare I say daring car-key flashing antics – rubbing salt into commie wounds. Safe trip home.
…(sharp intake of breath)..! So you mean I wasted four years of my youth! there is no ‘ALL consumers are rational’, no ‘utility’! uct will be hearing from me- I want my money back.
hehehe…we might be a few, but as long as we keep the rest confused our job is safe. long live the buy-nothing-ers….i think the quickest way to (cheaply and effortlessly) get into the seat of a merc is by enrolling with the traffic police…..seems pretty rewarding….
Ndumiso dude you’re not commie yet. If you’d give up beer then maybe you’re there otherwise beer is that 100 mark question that fails you in the commie test marked out of 105. R100 says you drink a certain brand of beer and don’t just go for the cheapest, is it a local beer?
Then again the idea whether or not beer could be seen as a necessity, void of “lighting up” when purchased, can be argued.
at least brother, you are better off with the chinos mind you they are from woolworth, hang ten an the likes, there must be somewhere where your heart is, and i believe its where you’ll always put your money.
Mr Ngcobo, Land Rover is one of my clients. Would you be interested in being a Range Rover brand ambassador? (As long as you don’t speed near the Grasmere toll plaza, you should be fine.)
Yeah….fair comment but you’ve got to remember that I am one of GQ’s 50 best dressed men so I had to look a bit sharp when we had lunch. Believe me, it’s a helluva burden. It would so much easier for me if I didn’t have to dress up every day and could looks as shabby and threadbare as you.