It’s Friday, the day on which – Phuza Thursday notwithstanding – many South Africans start drinking in earnest and, if some statistics are to be believed, don’t sober up until Monday morning rolls around. I was reminded the other night of how uncomfortable I feel around drunk people. Now I’m not talking pleasantly tanked and chatty (personally I’m a big fan of pleasantly tanked and chatty when I’m not driving; I’m much less socially awkward on a glass of wine). I mean the staggering drunks, the ones who wander around like zombies or declare undying love to complete strangers at the Jolly Roger; the ones who end up puking into the gutter and featuring on websites like this one. Those kind of drunks.
I think it’s because I didn’t grow up in a household where there was much alcohol around, so I never witnessed this behaviour as a child. Though my father would have a can of Castle Lager when he got back from work, we seldom saw alcohol being consumed in any great quantities, and when we were at social gatherings, we were so transfixed by the possibility that we might get to taste Cream Soda that we didn’t notice what the adults imbibed.
Even now that I drink regularly (and compared to my almost teetotal siblings I’m a bit of a lush), I find real drunkenness deeply offputting, even unnerving. I don’t know how to handle it. My booze culture is one in which pleasantly tanked and chatty is fine, but anything more is utterly alien.
So I wonder about the impact of culture on others and their relationship with alcohol. Let’s face it, South Africans love their drink. We have a troubled history with alcohol – the dop system, alcohol-related violence, drunk driving – and attempts to address it have met with mixed success. Now the Western Cape is clamping down on drinking spots in residential areas and illegal shebeens and the Department of Health is preparing to have alcohol advertising banned.
Will any of this have a real impact on the number of staggering drunks? Look how the ban on cigarette advertising worked, some say, but it was a part of a broader shift, and legislation had a lot to do with it. The impact of alcohol abuse will never be reduced unless the entire culture around the consumption of alcohol is changed, and because it’s so ingrained, and so entwined with other factors – social, economic, psychological – it will be a tough one regardless of how many laws are passed.
What’s your booze culture? If you see a staggering drunk, do you feel uncomfortable, or have you seen so many in your time that you don’t bat an eyelid? And if you’re a parent, how are you shaping your children’s attitude to alcohol? It might be interesting to compare our different experiences.
My booze culture is well-to-do and sophisticated when I drink Jameson’s. It also makes me like jazz. When i want to create a culture of racial reconciliation I reach for the klippies and when i want to lift huge steel girders and grow massive muscles it time to reward myself with a Black Label.
A ban on alcohol advertising will not see a decrease in alcohol abuse. If anything, it will be beneficial for establish brands, as smaller newcomers will not be able to effectively let the consumer know their product is out there. SAB will benefit, the growing craft beer culture will suffer.
When I see a staggering drunk, I give way as I do for any other person with a walking disability.
As a parent, I had twice the experience of two differnet sons coming/brought home totally incapacitated after hours.
When the inevitable “puke” happened, I stood on their bedside and made them clean up the mess there and then and without any help.
I think they got the message without me preaching.
I’ve lived in The US for 16 years now, and have yet to see a staggering, fall down drunk. On my single last visit to SA for family reasons (I have no reason to visit other than for emergencies and mercifully there has only been one to date), I wasn’t off the airplane 3 hours when I witnessed a drunk fall off his chair to the hoots of his friends at a pub in Randburg.
Here in The States (well, where I live) you cannot buy beer at school sporting events. Pubs and restaurants that sell booze may not do business within 1,500 yards of a school. It is frowned upon for anyone at a party, barbecue or any private social gathering to slur, stumble or appear drunk in my social circle.You do not drink and drive, not because it’s against the law, but because it’s the responsible thing to do. My children have never seen me drunk, and never will. After golf, we may have a few beers while we’re playing, but as soon as we’re done, we get back to our families.
This may all sound rather dour and boring to resident, remaining Saffers, but it’s far more responsible, and it forces you to enjoy life outside a bottle.
I prefer life this way. It’s healthier, in just about every way imaginable.
Its a strange South African uhuru phenomenon – ANC booze bling. South Africa has the largest market in the world pro rata for premium whiskeys . The prefered drop of the new elite is Johnny Walker Blue or a single malt and appletiser.
The in-crowd converge on boits such as Havana in Florida Rd Durban for an evening of average food but extensive bar and Cuban cigar facilities. Nothing short of a Discovery Evoque will get valet and doorman priviledge
I used to love a glass of wine or two in the evenings but the sugar content does not agree with me. I now enjoy a beer in the evenings. (Just like your dad…only I like Windhoek.)
I can’t even remember when last I saw a real drunk. (Staggering)
In the past, on seeing old hobo drunkards in the street, I would always feel very sorry for them. Life is tough and they are just trying to forget their troubles. They don’t seem to realise that they are just adding to them.
As for those youngsters in London (seen on BBC) lying all over the streets in a drunken stupor, one wonders what on earth they do this for. So humiliating and sad.
Thank you, Sarah, for getting a discussion going about our booze culture. May I put forward another issue that few people seem to think about. Where do the “staggering drunks” come from. Are they just like that? Are they the people that can’t handle their drink? Of course I don’t fall into that category, I just get “pleasantly tanked and chatty”. Is there any relationship between these two categories?
When I was 16 years old somebody challenged us, “How can you guarantee that you won’t become a staggering drunk and disgrace yourself and your family? The only guarantee is when you don’t drink at all.” I made a decision then not to drink. Fifty years later I am glad that I have stuck to my decision and my observations along the way has convinced me that the person who challenged us when we were 16 yrs, is absolutely right.
I didn’t allow my son to grow up with evidence of drunkenness around him. If a braai or party got too rough, we left. I don’t believe it’s a good idea for kids to believe drinking is an everyday habit. Which probably means it was easier once his dad had died; there was a man who would habitually down a six-pack before lunch time and contentedly swallow another two (six-packs) before bedtime, or half a bottle of scotch. The child was brought up to consider options once we got home at night for particular reasons: tea (usually), Oros or water (on hot days), coffee (big treat) or cocoa on a cold day. Alcohol should not be a ‘given’, even for weary stressed single mothers. It also made it easier to persuade him that he wasn’t entitled to a share of anything that I drank,particularly alcohol (single kids of single parents tend to believe themselves half of a two-person team, due half of anything going. We had our first battle of will over a tin of spritzer).
I grew up in a household where there was always alcohol in the cabinet but it was only drunk on special occasions, when even the youngest could have a sherry glass of cider. We had a drink perhaps once a month. By the time I had reached a pre-child 35, I’d decided that drinking a G&T alone wouldn’t put me at the gates of hell forthwith, but I stopped that once I had a baby. Emerging befuddled from an alcohol-aided sleep to a baby’s crying is one thing that makes a parent dream of throttling said baby.
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My son today is usually automatically considered the designated driver for his friends. He’s always invited, usually has his entrance fee paid for him and his buddies club in for the petrol. Alcohol is something he can take or leave although, if he’s spending a weekend with friends at a holiday cottage, for instance, he’ll take a bottle along for the weekend. He’s also capable of making a brandy-soaked trifle for the group on their first evening.
At least I did one thing right! Not bad for a first try.
Interesting responses! (So glad I could get into one of the boîtes of Durban if I chose – would be there solely as an anthropologist though). In the ad agency where I used to work, tequila was freely available on Fridays at one point, and heavy drinking was encouraged. The drunks I’m referring to were a mixture of young professionals and not so young professionals, among them really successful people with lots of $$$. Take a look at Twitter and read the #drunktweets over weekends, and read how many people refer to tequila in their bios.
I remember a Greys Christmas party in the early 80s, where they emptied a box of wine over all our heads in the bus on the way to the venue…and they wondered why we were never allowed back again and no firm would rent us a bus again!
My booze culture…
Consists of ‘sophisticated’ drinks. That is, cocktails, gin, wine, etc. Not in copious quantities – I know my limit and I stick to it. I go for pleasantly tanked and chatty. Tipsiness, you know? According to my aunt (who’s 4’11″ and claims one glass of wine is excessive) I’m a total lush and a disgrace to the family.
I’ve had one ‘staggering drunk’ incident, but I’m 18, so I’d call that quite responsible really. And even in that instance I was fully clothed when I fell asleep on the grass.
I like to drink so that I’m less socially awkward, more tipsy and more flirty. I’m also a little giggly. But vomiting, passing out, etc etc.. I find that all a bit disgusting, to say the least. People boast of it proudly, but it’s *really* unattractive. I find my one transgression quite embarrassing really, and it was a stupid mistake involving three people, one bottle of gin and an empty stomach.
Incidentally, there are nine alcoholics in my family. Being responsible with my drink is important for me. I don’t want to abuse the privilege. And I like the grace/class associated with drinking skilfully and responsibly.
I don’t really mind as long as I don’t have to spend time interacting with them. It’s their business how much they drink and I oppose all this childish nanny state nonsense that is sadly taking hold in South Africa. It’s already caused untold damage in the UK. Truly unfortunate that the miserable control-freak misanthropes are getting their way.
Me, I drink if I feel like it, whether that’s at night or first thing in the morning, with a group or alone. I quickly discarded that idiotic nonsense about not taking the drug alone or that it was inappropriate before some arbitrary time of day. I’ll be rather disappointed if my child is overly influenced by the anti-fun, risk-aversion that has become the norm. It’s a horrible cancer eating away at society.
Removal of cigarette advertising doesn’t appear to have made the slightest bit of difference. Hence the attempts to introduce silly measures like plain packaging. I look forward to the ban on alcohol advertising being a dismal failure.
And by the way your pleasantly tanked and chatty may well be someone else’s annoying drunk.
Booze is a funny thing. I have to agree with Guinnessaholic about the US– drunkenness is pretty well frowned upon, especially in business settings. And drunk driving is a very serious crime. In business, at least, if you are not in control of yourself, people pretty much judge that you should not be in control of anything else, either. Of course, what you do in private is a different matter, as long as it stays private–and Facebook isn’t really very private, to the surprise of many people.
That said, one of the consequences of the US’s “puritanical” approach to alcohol is it’s regular abuse by college students.
And there is plenty of social drinking–just not past the point where it appears that you might have lost control.
There was no taboo on the consumption of alcohol in my childhood family however there were people in my maternal family who had serious problems with alcohol and as a consequence I grew up fully aware of the dangers that lurked in its consumption. As a student I fell in with the drinking crowd but being fairly cash strapped I only managed about one night a month in the pub when we would get seriously drunk. In my final year I awoke one morning after such a pub night and realised that it was the state of intoxication rather than any particular drink that I really enjoyed. This was a wake up call for me as I thought to myself, pursuing alcohol because I so hugely enjoy being drunk will almost certainly lead to alcohol addiction. That is certainly not a condition I wish to create for myself so from henceforth I will have an occasional drink but I will never again become intoxicated. Then in my late twenties I decided to giving up drinking altogether and now in my early seventies I have no regrets at all about this decision. Alcohol might have benefits for some but alcohol, for people who have a disposition tending to alcoholism, is life destroying.
I have a group of dear friends I sometimes have to avoid because they are serious South African Drinkers.
The mother herself, who subscribes to the South African version of the English Pub Culture, always has a drink in her hand and encouraged her son to have his first beer at 14. I remember visiting when the son was about 15 and seeing her handing a cold beer to her daughter and saying ‘take this to your brother, he’s on the computer and might need a nice beer.’ Extraordinary to see.
Another single mother friend – a highly intelligent and functioning lawyer, binge drinks to a sickening degree. She keeps her tipple down to two or three glasses of wine four days a week but from Friday to Sunday night drinks two bottles of wine or champagne a day – and more. Her child amuses herself while mom sleeps off the hangovers. Then she got depressed and went on Prozac. The GP dispensing the Prozac did not tell her to limit her alcohol so she’s now on Prozac and copious booze. Her personality’s changed.
I don’t like the way excess booze eats away at people’s brain cells. It makes them boring and stupid – even though they perceive themself (tragically and falsely) as highly amusing and cutting-edge.