I know I will probably get shot down in flames (rhetorical ones of course) for admitting this. But, reading the terrible headlines of the last week, hearing South Africa make the only international story on yesterday’s 12 noon radio news, following online exchanges between South Africans discussing whether or not they have a contingency plan and where in the world they could go (Dubai? New Zealand? Canada?) — all I can feel is relief.
Relief, not so much that I am not in South Africa right now, but that I managed to get a foot in the door somewhere else. Relief that I have my skills and my visa. Relief that, unlike so many South Africans — and the desperate foreigners they have been targeting — I have options.
Pity about the passport (does anyone hold out any faith in Home Affairs? I have to get it renewed next year. Dreading it.) My husband has an EU passport, which is the new marker of distinction between the haves and the have nots in the global village; my family left the UK too long ago for me to qualify for an ancestral visa. But still. I’m lucky and I know it.
My family is back in South Africa, which complicates things a little. My husband (he will join me in Sydney later this year), parents, grandparents, most of my siblings. My animals. My house, in which my life savings are tied up and which, for various reasons, cannot be sold right now even if I wanted to. I worry about them, but at the same time, I imagine that life goes on as usual in the suburbs and the shopping malls.
I feel guilty about feeling relieved, that I have committed some kind of betrayal. I can only hope that things will get better, the killings will stop, that South Africa will step away from the brink and get back to muddling through, somehow. And that the international headlines that reach this part of the world will go back to cyclones and earthquakes and volcanoes.
@ Francois le Roux …”I think this consumptive individualism would make you poorer as a human being”
You’re doing it wrong then.
Stevie Wander
a journey without a destination is no journey
but an aimless wander to nowhere and if you
don’t know where you’re going it does not matter
any road will take you there.
I left in 85 , it gives me no happiness at all to see the pain my beautiful land is going through , I have a family in Oz and I as a individual would always consider returning to SA , but not my kids – the threat to them is too real.
Every human being has a basic right to safety first – the government seems oblivuous to that .
Make SA sdafe and we will generally all loom at returning if accepted back
gary
sydney oz since 85
God, some South Africans are just astonishingly parochial and narrow-minded.
Any expat reading many of the responses to this post will be relieved no longer to live among such people.
Look after yourself sweetie, no one else is going to. – Hang in there.
This is about your life; not Thabo’s life, or Bob’s life: but your life! – Pity it’s come down to that, but you didn’t bring it down. Don’t feel bad – move on and feel good.
“Embrace the future, fuck the past.” – My hippie friend, also known as Tony.
Well, I’m relieved that I left. Even more so after reading the replies here.
“Middle class pale skins”… good grief. Rainbow Nation, eh? You can keep it.
How, exactly, does a “middle class pale skin” stay and help? Join that specific advice-giver’s political party and toyi-toyi when instructed?
My favourite set of pompous blowhards is the group that claims “we are all responsible”.
Murder, rape, theft? It’s your fault! You! Reading this! The perpetrators are not, in fact, specific criminals, they’re all the terrified innocents too scared (or “apathetic” in doublespeak) to “do something about it”.
What that “something” is, I don’t know, but again I suspect it involves voting “correctly” and paying more tax to the people saying it.
So feel relieved, Sarah, that you’ve managed escape the politics of fat, entrenched handwringers that are too milquetoast to even criticise, let alone prosecute, the bigots and criminals in their own electorate.
Feel relieved that you’ve escaped a country run by a party so obviously corrupt and incompetent that still, somehow, manages to outsmart and outmanoeuvre their finger-pointing opposition.
Mostly, feel relieved that you’re no longer in a country where simply expressing your opinion about actual reality is a political act by a “middle class pale skin”.
@ JMunro ……. you said
“Sadly, the ones left behind are ignorant and just plain stupid!”
Is this the best you can manage?
Does it occur to you that there are many of us who would leave if we could but are constrained by age, passport, finances, etc.
You show yourself up in the worst possible light by gloating over your more fortunate position.
I wager that you will cling to every bit of bad news from SA and revel in our misfortunes to convince yourself that you have done the right thing.
Liewe Saartjie. I really enjoyed reading this blog. Some serious acid piss people around. People angry for reasons they don’t know why or for pure undiluted jealousy. I ask one thing from you: Either embrace Ozz with all it troubles and magic or return to ZA warts and all. Don’t waste time lamenting on what / where / when and why.
Ad amused reader:
an example is botswana so your 100% toyota analogy fails. It is actually 99.46% failure rate with that one consideration. but we can also consider namibia and mauritius, that would depress your statistic even further. secondly, there is a problem of knowledge, we were taught european history in school, of the relovutions, the ‘great wars’ etc. we actually don’t know much about this continent. even the news, i would state, dont have that much content on the continent. So me and you actually don’t know much. its no wonder its called a ‘dark continent’.
Anyway it was a bad analogy, i would not compare countries, homes, family, land etc. to a motor vehicle.
As a white south african, i am ashmaed of you. infact i would beg you to leave the country. So please leave the country and emigrate. Bye!
@ Gary
How can you expect others to make it safe for you and your family while you sit in the comfort of oz? I have children and am committed to staying here and making it better for them. Are they at less risk than your children would be?
@ Augustin
Beg away, i’ll decide what is best for me, your opinion is of no consequence in that regard.
Wow, so if i accept that Botswana is an example (and there are 2 schools of thought in that regard), and the failure rates is only 99.46%, then i should have renewed confidence in black African rule. LOL
African history is pretty well recorded, Africans are just very selective in what they wish to take from it. You are a classic example, everything is the fault of someone or something else. That IS african modern history.
No accountability, no performance, no self respect, no matter!!!
Sarah is welcome to have gone. I am going to stay, because i can make it in spite of the inept and incompetent government.
I will continue to pay a significant amount in tax, create work for South Africans of all colours, and enjoy my life to the best of my ability. I will do the best i can, to help those less fortunate than me, and help up anyone, whatever their colour, who is willing to take my hand.
Meanwhile, the government IS crap, and people with your attitude continue to undermine the only hope poor South African have, the fact that they are responsible for their own destiny, that they have the ability and power to shape it for just the way they want for themselves.
They are just to busy listening to the likes of you telling them that they are entitled to this that and the other.
You know Sarah I am actually getting a little tired of reading your articles.
You are sounding more and more like most South Africans that pack up and leave – they look for every little excuse under the sun to justify their reasons for leaving.
The current wave of unrest in SA is just that – “a wave”. It will not be here for long. Some good will come from it.
Please dont forget for a minute about the riots that flash up in the streets of central Paris on a regular basis, that the US is at war, that garbage us piling up in the streets of Naples in Italy and that you have moved to one of the most controlled and regulated societies on the planet.
Isn’t this tantamount to calling your ex boyfriends mother to tell her you’re glad you left her son because now you’re in a happier relationship? Except ofcourse – you just have to pop back into their lives to fetch an old sweater or your teddybears.
Or moving out of a supposedly bad neighbourhood to a better one..but having the time to come back to the old ‘hood to report that you’re better off. Why do it?
The paint may be peeling on our picket fences. And the gate’s hinges are rusty or falling off. The grass is definitely greener next door. But its home. And we’re working on making it right. I don’t this these kinds of blogs are helpful.
to all the amused and perplexed respondents who cannot seem to understand the irate responses to sarah’s blog…
firstly – we’ve heard this all before and maybe we’re just gatvol! sarah is sharing nothing new, intelligent or insightful that offers (for me at least) any substance, insight or leadership. instead she has us all talking about her precious feelings of guilt! please!
i am not envious of her “haves”, nor am i a bitter white person or a twisted black person! come on people – those are really lame lash-backs.
here’s the real problem with sarah’s blog. she has a space (thought leader) that many people in this country (and outside of it) with exceptional, visionary, positive and proactive thoughts – do not have. ANYONE who is in south africa today, knows we really need it at this time!
bottom line sarah: you have said nothing that gives me any confidence in myself, in my people, in our long and hard (and continued struggles!) and in the present and future of what we are creating. your thoughts are not leading my struggles. not in south africa. not in 2008.
this is not meant as a personal affront – but you’ve put yourself out there, so deal with the consequences.
selfish, individualistic and pensive, privileged guilt can really be written up for fair lady magazine.
unless you are all saying this is exactly what “thought leader” is about.
Sarah , its probably not wrong to feel the way you do but perhaps a lot of people cant deal with blatant honesty from you , so I admire the conviction of saying how you feel , right or wrong its ‘ your truth and honesty ‘ that should be applauded
gary – sydney
Of course you feel relieved, given that we are in the state we are it is a sane feeling. I suppose in a way you must feel that you have escaped the asylum. The only question now of course is how you are going to come to terms with the murder rate in Sydney and then there is the little matter of how the aboriginals feel about you invading their country?
My fellow South Africans; we just have no problem. We just need to implement the policies that saw the poor white problem disappear. But we must just not create a poor white community as we do so.
From what I read, we have not erradicated the poor African problem while some few whites are becoming poor; a few black people are becoming very rich; a slightly higher proportion of whites are still getting richer.
If we wish a d want to live in peace in South Africa we need to face this head on.
No amount of deferring the problem, by creating a pseudo African middle class and hope it will stop the tsunami.
The poor outnumber us and they will swallow all of us.
at the moment the problem may look to be directed to foreigners.
The next group to suffer will be we middle lass and super rich Africans. We will soon not be able to drive around in those 4×4′s.
Then the whites and indians.
we do not need this revolution. It happened in all the countries of the world. why can we not learn.
Even in Australia, the Aboriginal people are slowly claiming back that which belongs to them.
Let the spirit of Christianity or any religion for that matter save us. I can predict that in ten years time from today, the same will happen, but the victims will be different.
So are you guys willing to join in making a truly democratic South Africa.
@ bumble.
So you also read Thought Leader for the pioneering wisdom of Ronald Suresh Roberts.
@ Sarah,
All of the irate responses to your post remind me of a song by Minutemen circa 1984. It was called “The Roar of the Masses Could Be Farts.”
How insulting to be lectured by someone who doesn’t know how to use capital letters. Is that supposed to be cute somehow? I think it is disrespectful of other readers. Seems like that sort of bumbling forth causes more dumbing down than Sarah’s need to put some of her personal feelings out there. Sarah, it looks like you are going to have to do tricks like a circus monkey for this crowd’s amusement. Doesn’t look like you are going to be allowed to use your own mind here.
Nzuzo, thank you for offering me a glimmer of hope w.r.t. Africa. Please don’t take it as patronising, but your ideas, when compared to some of the pale folk here, are proof that one’s skin colour doesn’t necessarily determine intelligent thought. Sadly, I suspect you will be seen as a coconut by most AA folk who don’t share your sentiments. I pray that people like you will take over Africa’s leadership and introduce some intelligence in stead of just drawing the race card at every opportunity. Then again, with your genuine brains and skill, you would probably enjoy a better life anywhere else in the world without having to put up with all the nonsense that is called politics in South Africa. My point has been all along that educated Black South Africans share many sentiments of the “Whining Whites” who emigrate. Why is this so hard to grasp?
How does one stop corruption and greed in Africa and South Africa? Yes, we all know from experience that skin colour isn’t a determining factor in these matters either. How DO YOU improve the lives of the poor when everyone is busy looting the economy – government, corporations and robberbarons alike! The masses WILL eventually stage a revolution, but there will be leaders again and the cycle will undoubtedly repeat itself. It always does.
Angela, I feel that every government has 1x basic right to its people , to keep them and their children safe from murder and rape and horrendous crime .I dont believe the govermnent owes anyone a living but the above are a must in any land .- too much violence and the loss of good people should not be an ‘ acceptable ‘ casualty of ‘ change ‘
Hi Sarah,
i’ve only recently discovered blogging, and have become fascinated by yours! i find you humorous and insightful, but what i love the most is the way in which you seem to succinctly say alot of what i am feeling.
i’ve been lucky enough to travel quite extensively (to England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Spain, Italy, France, Austria, Germany, Mauritius, and the Czech Republic) and it never fails to amaze me how proudly South African i feel when i’m away from home.
The frightful weather in England, the arrogance and rudeness of the French, and that disconcerting, foreign feeling one gets from just being in an alien city never cease to inspire infinite pride and affection in my home country, and sense of relief for the familiar upon returning home– which, however, is always short-lived.
South Africa’s problems are well-known and need not be repeated here; but what does deserve mentioning is the effect it has on me– and, i’m sure, on many others as well. i find myself reeling on a daily basis from despair and hoplessness to anger and resent towards the criminals and leaders (in many cases, these terms are interchangable) who are destroying lives and bleeding this country dry of its well-educated and decent citizens who are chased abroad to find the peaceful lifestyles and work opportunities which are not available here.
while i have never been to Australia, i feel distinctly patriotic towards this foriegn country every time i turn on the news or leave the house– and i am very jealous that you’ve managed to “get a foot out the door”. if i could marshall the courage and bring myself to leave my family, i would leave tomorrow. but i do know that as soon as i immigrate to Australia that familiar patriotic feeling will begin to rise and i will start planning my next trip ‘home’– never mind the fact that the place i once knew as home exist only in my memory and immagination.
Ineptitude in government isn’t just the domain of ‘black african’ governments. Take a look at Eastern Europe. Proverty exists everywhere. It is the main enemy. The enrichment of the few at the expense of others is a crime. Individuals who indulge in corruption for personal gain commit crimes against all. Fight poverty and ignorance and maybe then we’ll have a half decent society for all to live in. People emigrate because they can’t deal with these problems and don’t like to have to face them on a daily basis. It’s so much easier to look away and even easier when viewed from another continent. Don’t worry about it,just send a cheque.
I think I’m going to include a chapter of insults directed at me in the next South African Insult book. It’s only fair and besides, I’d hate to waste all of this wonderful material.
Sarah , I repeat , its not wrong to feel the way you do but perhaps a lot of people cant deal with blatant honesty , so I admire the conviction of saying how you feel , right or wrong its ‘ your truth and honesty ‘ that should be applauded, enjoy your life in Sydney , life is short , keep up the honesty , its refreshing to see .
I will always be a SA as its in my blood , I will always support SA as I am sure you will , whether from within SA or from abroad
enjoy your Oz adventure
gary – sydney
I left SA for the UK in 1999, for none of the usual reasons (i.e. none of crime, AA or politics played any role in my decision); I simply felt like a life change.
That said, I have not the slightest flicker of a faint desire ever to return there to live. SA has become ever more a parochial, self-obsessed, disintegrating shithole with little to no hope of ever coming right.
27 April 1994 was one of the highpoints in my life, when I allowed myself to believe that SA had left the dark oppressive days behind and was finally taking the high road. That hope has been ground into the dust by the corrupt, nepotistic, incompetent, race-obsessed, ideologically paralysed shower of shit that lead the country.
It’s ok to visit SA on holiday but whenever I leave for the UK I feel like I am coming home. The simple truth is that the UK is a far more civilised, cultured and pleasant place than SA. I even prefer the weather here.
To answer your question, Sarah, you are quite right to feel relieved. Just as those who were able to get onto a lifeboat after Titanic hit the iceberg were quite right to feel relieved.
Those who believe that SA will come right are just shifting the deckchairs on a doomed ship, in my view.
Sarah, please don’t let a handful of dunderheads put you off blogging on Thought Leader.
Sarah you are quite right to feel relieved. The country has serious problems that may get far far worse without ever getting better.
The world has become a very small place and skills are easily transferable. Places that are not fit for people to live in safety and raise families will experience a brain drain.
That is how it should be.
To those who have decided to make Australia home , good luck to you it is a wonderful country.
To those who have decide to stay in SA , good luck to you too. You will need it.
What intrigues me about all the expats who are so adamant that we are all going to hell in a handbasket and how glad they are to be wherever and how they don’t feel South African at all us why they are still posting on these blogss. Surely you should be on teh website of teh Sydney Herald or teh Toronbto STar or whatever. You have made a choice that was right for you. Now let go and become a Canadian or Aussie or whatever. Go and watch ice hockey or Aussie Rules. Cheer when Aussie wib the cricket. EMbrace where you are. But don’r keep sniffing around SA. We are all trying to move on in our own ways. We don’t need dogs in the manger saying I told you so all the time. That is the problem with SA expats. They want to see blood in the streets and disaster becuase then it justifies what they did. You cannot have it both ways. You are like teh souties of old. One foot in Africa and one in wherever with your doohdah dangiling in tyhe ocean.
It’s ok to visit SA on holiday but whenever I leave for the UK I feel like I am coming home. The simple truth is that the UK is a far more civilised, cultured and pleasant place than SA. I even prefer the weather here.
Why keep posting on an SA blog then? If you have been happy in the UK for 10 years why keep on stewing baout SA. It will be like a festering boil inside you.
You are now a pom not a South African. The fact that you keep postying suggests that you are not entirely truthfuil in your assertion taht you have ne desire to return at all.
Oh, the irony of Seffrikans lamenting the fact that a Seffrikan would feel at home anywhere else.
Maybe it’s because Seffrikans label foreigners as the culprits of crime and chase them back home that we can’t understand how someone could feel relieved to be in another country?
Ultimately, you only need to answer to yourself. If you feel relieved when you see the xenophobia attacks, the Eskom blunders and the foot-in-mouth disease all our politicians suffer from, it is not wrong.
Part of having freedom is deciding where you want to live and what kind of life you want. Nobody has the right to resent you for acclimatising yourself to bluegum trees and losing rugby teams.
Good for you – I wish it was me!
I like being from Africa. Even if I am white and have an British passport. It makes me fairly unique. there is only about 5 million of us on a continent of 922 million.
I like living in Europe because that’s where my parents once came from. And it’s fun.
I like going back to South Africa because that’s where I’m from. And it’s fun. I like to hang out in the Transkei, to visit my home town of Durban. I like to see the people and blue skies. They are fun too.
I will never be ashamed of my white-ness or my african-ness. I will never be ashamed that I have chosen to live in Europe for the moment. I will never hang my head when I am back in South Africa.
And I will never heed the opinions of people who say I should do.
Sarah, stop with the white guilt. Enjoy Australia. Enjoy where you come from. Celebrate who you are.
And write about something that actually matters. Like the difference between a wombat and a dassie. Or the virtues of the indian ocean over the pacific ocean. The taste of kabeljouw vs barramundi. Or why a cafe latte in Sydney is infinitely better than a cafe latte in Johannesburg.