And it's horrible. Right now my lower lip is completely numb and my face is completely lopsided -- grotesquely swollen on the right and almost normal on the left -- so that I look like half a hamster. It's a scary sight: in a way it's worse than look...
Dear Lars
I'm a Cell C customer. Well, not directly -- I have a Virgin contract because I'm a commitmentphobe and at the time they were the only ones offering month-to-month -- but I use your network. In fact, the words "Cell C E" probably mean mo...
Occasionally -- very occasionally -- I am gripped by a completely alien urge to tidy up; to clear out the clutter, let go of what I don’t need, and find a place for the things I do.
So, today, I tackled the unholy mess that has haunted me for m...
I'm going to talk about "babe". Not the movie or the attractive young woman, but the standard term of endearment amongst middle-class South Africans. It's usually attached to greetings or questions. "Howzit babe" or "Babe, can you open this jar for m...
The jasmine is late this year. It’s nearly August and the flowers are still little more than tiny carmine spears poking out of a tangle of leaves. I love jasmine: it’s the scent of spring, of new beginnings, of possibility and the inevitably of c...
Once upon a time, Old Spice was the smell of your dad. It was Carmina Burana and crashing waves. It was the gift you bought for a man when you'd long since run out of time and imagination and the bottle gathering dust in the bathroom cabinet. It was ...
So I'm sitting in a doctor's waiting room waiting, as you do, for the doctor who is now over 20 minutes late, and I'm at a bit of a loose end. None of the magazines on the coffee table offer stories that will fill the gaping void in my sense of self,...
Chauvinism. In a previous article I reflected on the hostility towards Uruguay after their defeat of Ghana, and given that this still appears to be a hot topic, I thought I'd explore this in a little more detail.
You probably know the word "chauv...
Walking past one of the cubicles in our office building the other afternoon, I noticed a photo of a cat pinned to a board. On it were the words: "You cannot imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give." It struck me that this statement -- which h...
Back in April, Iceland paralysed half the world when one of its volcanoes produced an ash cloud that prevented commercial aircraft from flying. Thousands of people (including me) were horribly inconvenienced, but this wasn't all bad news for Iceland....
Sarah Britten has written three books on South African insults. During the day she is a communication strategist in the ad industry; by night she writes books and blog entries. It helps to have insomnia.
