Ding dong. I cringed as the doorbell rang. Usually such a welcoming sound … guests arriving! But we feared being thrown out of the apartment here in China. On the streets. At least one good Western friend said he would take us in. Foreigners, stuck in Suzhou, suddenly without jobs along with the other teachers in our company, squatting in an apartment, and also without our passports. The company we worked for, U-Learn, screwed us over (including our bonuses) along with all the other teachers. I have never been in such a desperate situation in my entire life.
And only a week before we had been reassured our contracts would be renewed, that we would be given decent increases, and two days before we received the shocking email that our employer took in our passports to renew our visas. Clever move. One of the first things U-Learn did was ask for three thousand RMB upfront if we wanted our passports back. I phoned the branch manager and said I would call the police if they tried to hold onto our passports. The issue suddenly became a “misunderstanding” and we promptly got our passports back. Marion and I were upset as we know we taught well for the organisation and burnished their image in the schools where we taught. I know of how China can be a terrifying place for some people … but it had never happened to us.
And now we were squatting in a U-Learn apartment … trying to find new jobs and there are plenty out there. But decent pay? Reliable organisations? We were now very nervous as to who we should go with. And had precious little time. And my blood turned cold every time I heard the ding dong. We have moved to Kunshan, between Suzhou and Shanghai, to work for another organisation, a mixture of kindergarten teaching and adult training. Quite a mix. Not the best of pay but beggars can’t be choosers and we won’t see a decent salary till the middle of September as we only started right at the end of July, a month after U-Learn suddenly said they were not renewing contracts. They were also demanding fake bills for fictional damage done to the apartment they provided for us – including two thousand RMB to repair a bed – and will not pass on documentation needed for visa purposes. But an expert attorney friend of ours says the documentation is not ultimately necessary. Like the passports, they were hoping we did not know the law.
Why blog about this? Why wail woe is me? Partly to get it out of my system, partly because so many readers have been trying to contact me, wondering why I am not writing. When I am depressed and terrified like this, feeling to the acid core of my gut a sense of worthlessness and failure, I cannot write. We are countryless, have not been able to save much in our year back in China, as Suzhou does not pay like the big city Shanghai, and will never see the money again that we gave to the family to invest in a joint property in New Zealand. Right now Marion’s much stronger than me. I am like a whipped dog with my tail between my legs. She still finds things to chuckle about and time to play with a cat we have inherited. His name is Nangua, Chinese for Pumpkin because his fur colouring is almost that of a pumpkin. Yes, I get up every day to do my job, but currently I feel like a dead man walking. And self-pity I know is such a destructive emotion. But being honest about myself is always the first step out of this hell hole. And owning up to the responsibility of my own choices even though we had no clue what they were about to do to us and the other teachers.
Much as I admire and believe in teachings like The Power of Now, I have had black visions of annihilation, being deported to either South Africa or Ireland and being separated forever from my beloved Marion. On several occasions I think I came close to having a stroke, from the way my heart was pounding and my shortness of breath at 3am. And God, should I really be writing this publicly? I apologise for venting. I apologise for using or abusing my Thought Leader blog account for this tale of misery. But for what it’s worth I feel a little better, and realise that people who apologise a lot are struggling with an enormous sense of inadequacy. I very nearly did not publish this.
Rod, I am so sorry to hear about your predicament. I can, maybe, help you here in China. You can contact me on: 151 3568 6263
Rod
Surely there are laws and lawyers in China? And in New Zealand for that matter – to get your money back from the family.
And can’t the SA embassy help?
Sterkte Rod.
Chin up sir! As one person going through a horrible phase in their life to another, you and only you can beat the funk.
” I have had black visions of annihilation, being deported to either South Africa or Ireland and being separated forever from my beloved Marion. On several occasions I think I came close to having a stroke, from the way my heart was pounding and my shortness of breath at 3am. ” Rod, I can only say I respect and admire you for sharing this. I have also been going through great stress and uncertainty in my job, and the greatest terror I have is just like yours – of failure. I lie awake at 3am and I am tormented by deep fear – of both failure, and above all of letting others down, of others feeling I had disappointed them. It’s not just about money or survival – it never is. It’s about our entire self concept, and our tremendous sense of duty. You have guts in sharing your fears. So many people I know have these black visions, and if only we could all be as honest as you have been.
“But for what it’s worth a feel a little better, and realise that people who apologise a lot are struggling with an enormous sense of inadequacy.” No, it’s not just that. I feel much the same. You are apologising for burdening others with your burdens – which all self-contained men of honour feel. You hate imposing on others. You feel that you have to apologise for asking others to share your burdens. You are like the Victorian soldier who apologises to the medic for the trifling inconvenience of bandaging your multiple mortal wounds. But apologising is not a sense of inadequacy. It is a sense of profound respect for others, it is because you are the opposite of a selfish peson – not only do you not want to burden others, when you are driven to the point of venting and offloading, you couch it with an apology and flagellate yourself for your ‘imposition’ on others. It is very much a culture of stiff upper lip and don’t complain even when you are being battered from all sides. It is officer Murdock on the Titanic who salutes at the flag and then shoots himself for not having got all the women and children off the ship on time. It is a product of a profound and severe self-criticism, the standards of which are so extreme you would probably not apply them to others. But do not be ashamed of it, because it is driven by the best and most noble instinct of men – honour.
Rod
I so appreciate you sharing your journey. Not only are you a window to a part of life and the world that many of us would never see, but you are a good person…and I appreciate you.
Like it or not, this is just another side of China (and it could be anywhere). Hang in there…you will come through.
Dave
“Right now Marion’s much stronger than me. I am like a whipped dog with my tail between my legs. She still finds things to chuckle about and time to play with a cat we have inherited. His name is Nangua, Chinese for Pumpkin because his fur colouring is almost that of a pumpkin.” It is remarkable how many coincidences there are in our lives – yours and mine. When I was at rock bottom, a very similar cat provided great comfort and love in a time of darkest anxiety and despair. When the entire world seems against one, I have found that the unconditional love of children and animals can give one a reason to carry on. I am truly happy that you have been blessed by the joy of this animal. Sometimes in the darkest depths, we see these small unexpected rays of light that make all the suffering, bullshit, failure – yes, our own failure above all – and despair seem conquerable. Or maybe more honestly – we never really conquer all these things, but we learn how to push them outside of the circle of our own warmth, and to keep warm within this circle the things we truly love. And which truly love us.
Hi, Rod. Sorry to hear about that.
I know exactly how you feel. Being evicted on July 1st and not recieving ANY help with anything was really angering to me. I worked hard for that company for 14 months only to be treated like crap when it was time to leave.
May and the damn driver refused to help me move my stuff to Kevin’s place. It took me over an hour to move all the bags (My 2 suitcases, laptop bag and carry-on luggage, Peter’s 2 bags that I needed taken to the office and multiple plastic bags of stuff I was giving to Kevin) down the stairs in the hot weather myself because they refused to help. It was an extremely stressful day and it didn’t help that May asked for my keys the day before to have an “a yi” come in the afternoon to clean the place then she texts me at 4:50pm to tell me the lady will come to clean it the next day at 8am!
Thing is, I gave her my keys in good faith that I would get them back that same day so I could then take some of my bigger cases to Kevin’s place so I didn’t need to the next day. So when I text and get no reply I phone multiple times and eventually get through and ask for my keys back to which she replies she’s “too far away” and would be “back late” and I told her I needed my keys because I was going out and I couldn’t share easily with Catherine.
(cont…)
I even asked her to tell me where she was so I could go and retrieve my keys but she refused and told me I don’t need them anymore because my contract ended and even laughed at me at one point. She then hung up on me and set her phone to busy afterwards! I was furious!
So I couldn’t take my bags to Kevin’s place that evening.
The next day she is rushing me and trying to get me to hurry up and leave! This was absolutely ridiculous! I needed my keys the day before so I could move quickly! It was also stupid that they refused to help me move my bags and take them to Kevin’s or even to call a bloody taxi for me!!! I was asking if the driver could help me take Peter’s bags to the office to facilitate my moving but May said “Your contract has ended, he doesn’t need to help you. Why should he help you?” Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I talk his daughter English last year? May is a complete idiot and should be fired!
I also got screwed out of a few thousand for my bonus because I “missed” five days of going to school. Two of which were days that nothing was being done and there was no need for me to be there and would have been a waste of time, and the other three I was in Taiwan during a week that I didn’t need to go to school anyway! Then the “6000 RMB” was added into my overall pay anyway and that just increased the tax on it to over 700RMB, this really should have been a seperate thing.
U-Learn overall though is a terrible company and nobody should work…
I feel sorry for the future teachers and employees of that company, I feel sorry for the nice office girls there now (obviously not May though).
U-Learn. I have never worked at a company so apathetic to their own incompetence.
I know a lot of foreigners say that‘s common for Chinese companies but U-Learn is by
far the worst I have worked for.
They lost my passport and put my future in China in jeopardy and held yours hostage.
I’m quite sure we’ve all had bad moments that have caused us to vent or virtually die quietly inside. You have each other and you both have jobs. Economies all over the world are playing nasty tricks on the people who least expect it and many will be poorer for it. Have courage, ‘hou moed’. You probably are best of staying in China, because sure as hell, your target market in SA is quite convinced its English is perfectly acceptable.
Many people will empathise.
The Chinese government, like any other government, does not want a bad press if it can be helped. Has anyone informed them of the actions of this company?
Hang in there. Your writing is raw and real.
Dear Rod.
Many thanks for your honest and frank expose of a dreadful situation. You gave us all a unique insight into what life must be like for everyday Chinese themselves. It is one of pervading uncertainty, of having to, what we call, bribe your way through life to the extent that their entire society functions that way. In the few weeks I spent in China in 1993 I sensed that uncertainty everywhere. The superficial order and discipline amongst the (then) hordes of cyclists that would explode in a brief screaming match between those who have a minor collision, only to equally suddenly remount and pedal silently on. No pensions, at least at the time I experienced life there. The family has to provide, in as far as one has not been able to build up some capital, which probably would be at risk in banks anyway.
You are now in a most unenviable situation, in spite of the fact that you can call on resources which most Chinese would be unable to access. I sincerely hope that you can find a way forward, having in a sense become stateless. I see little solace coming, as Lyndall suggests, from the Chinese government. This is a minor domestic issue. They have bigger fish to fry, like dazzling our president with impressive receptions and dangling financial rewards so that they can get their hands on our commodities.
They could even re-confirm with our authorities the wonderful efficiency of the Chinese way of organising a society.
For those of us thinking of teaching in China on contract, your story is cautionary – makes me think again about such ventures! How can one tell if a company is going to be honorable or not? I’m so sorry you have all been stranded by this one, and being laughed at by those taking pleasure in your misfortune makes the experience that much more bitter. I wish you all a better year ahead!
Sorry, Rod….check Korea for options.
I noticed 2 mistakes in my second post. I should have said “taught his daughter English” instead of “talk his daughter English”.
And at the end it should say “U-Learn overall is a terrible company and nobody should work for them…”
Rod,
I know all too well the perks and pitfalls of working for U-learn. First let’s examine the perks…oh yeah, there were none. There were plenty of pitfalls. This is a company that is based in dishonesty. They have no idea how to treat their employees as anything other than rented mules.
I taught at an “experimental public school” in the middle of nowhere who’s students were comprised of migrant worker’s children. These kids behaved like eighth century Mongolians and were incredibly violent. Punching, kicking, throwing things, and sometimes stabbing each other with sharpened pencils were common place but there was little I could do to stop it because any punishment other than making a student stand up (which was supposed to make them feel embarrassed and not keep acting up). At first I made a misbehaving student go out into the hall but then I was reprimanded and told that I was not allowed to do this because they may be disruptive to other classes, not caring how disruptive they were being in my class. I was only allowed to bring a student to the office if I had witnessed the act of violence first hand because if I were writing something on the board and had my back turned to the students (something I tried to avoid at all costs) because “Otherwise you might make wrong student trouble.” This was hard to do as I would often see one student weeping because another student had just punched, kicked, or stabbed them.
(cont…)
I have given you the short version of all of the problems surrounding this country. I could write a very long book about my experience there (but some of the things sound so far-fetched that people may think it is a work of fiction).
I know that I have written many bad things about the company and this is because I had nothing but bad experiences working with U-Learn. The only good thing that came out of working there was that I made some very good friends. We were bonded together because of hardships and trivia night at a Mexican restaurant, Zapatas. If you are currently working for U-Learn and need to check it out. They also have all you can eat Texas BBQ on Sunday.
All I can do is warn you. DO NOT WORK FOR U-LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a grueling and nearly soul-crushing experience which caused depression in a way I hadn’t ever felt before. Being sad/depressed is common from time to time but when you are literally half-way around the world from the world you know and you are having to grudgingly go to work every single day it becomes a constant thing.
Thank you, Rod for posting this. I know that I wrote more than most people may care to read but I don’t want for anyone else to have to go through what I had to.
I would like to repeat: DO NOT WORK FOR U-LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you are still reading this then I hope that you take what I am saying into consideration before you make your decision. Good luck to you all.
Last time: DO NOT WORK FOR…
Rod
Do you really want to be broke and living in China in 20 years time?
Would you not be better off in SA or New Zealand, broke or not?
I think you should face it and relocate.
Rod
Could you and Marion not teach colloquial Chinese in SA?
The way the ANC spend their time arsecreeping China there should be a demand!
Rod
I can probably help. I work for Web International English at a school in Shijiazhuang, Hebei. I have found them to be very reliable, the salary is pretty good and the cost of living here quite low. Let me know if you want me to speak to our Centre Director.
Hi Rod
What happened to the great job with K&H in Shanghai, that offered a much better package than Ulearn? (your email, April 13th). What made you change your mind about that job?
We have heard your side of the story, but have not heard Ulearn’s side. There are two sides to this story, each of equal value. I see you are very upset, but there must be some reason why Ulearn withdrew their initial offer to reemploy you.
As for the apartment…landlords in all countries often use exiting tenants as a means to line their pockets…and then not do the work!
I found Ulearn to be a good company to work for, and the staff generally quite helpful. Even May – a very useful lady for all sorts of informationand problem solving.
Robin, with friends like you who needs enemies?
Rod clearly stated that all the teachers in that school were being retrenched, it was nothing he had done.. As you’re so full of praise for that god-awful company why don’t you enquire yourself, and get ‘the other side of the story’?
Kenny, all your warnings would have been helpful BEFORE this happened, now they sound silly, to say the least.
Rod, hang in there, vasbyt. Must say though that it can’t be THAT bad if you recoil in horror at the thought of being deported to SA or Ireland..
Hi Robin
Dont know if I met you.
I was going to go with K and H but they decided only to take on North American teachers. My experience of U-Learn was pretty good, right up until the end. I know we were popular in our schools….. it was obvious that U-Learn had no work lined up for the summer vacation, so just dumped all the remaining teachers and gave us days to get out of the apartment.
@ nguni you must feel a bit silly with your reply after Rod clarified and said how good U-Learn was till that last moment. Robins position seems vindicated
Rod,
I feel your pain. I am going through the exact same thing with ULearn right now. I am sorry to say that it was very comforting to read your plight. It is nice to know that I am not alone. Might I reitierate a previous poster’s reply as well. DO NOT WORK FOR Ulearn!!!! They will do everything possible to take advantage of you. The ‘misunderstandings’ you speak of are more accurately to be labeled as BOLD-FACED LIES. I do not need to go into my personal situation, as it is a bit repetitive of yours. I hope others looking to come to China read this and find other places to work. There are some great schools and companies out there, this is just not one of them. Work for them at your own risk, as you have been warned! Best of luck to you Rod!