“Dear Rod,
This week will be the last week for your lessons. So you need to give all the students scores for this term. Thank you for what you have done for our school.
Joy.”
I received the above email at 11am on Monday 4 January and my last day of employment and earnings is 8 January: this from my “co-teacher” Joy (a Chinese English teacher at our middle school, who communicates all necessary announcements to me). I was half-surprised she did not add “Happy New Year” to the bleak little missive as it was my first day back at work after the New Year holiday. But I think it vaguely occurred to Joy that the “bad news” and best wishes for the New Year just may be in poor taste.
Yeah, it was a shock. One of the biggest traumas in our times is to lose a job. It’s apparently up there with death, divorce, moving home (forcible eviction must be the worst in that category) and moving countries. I am sure all readers on this blog have experienced at least three of these traumas. How do we deal with them, transform them?
Well, I went into shock. I immediately went to Joy’s office and asked, “Are there any problems between me and the school?” She gave me a blank, confused stare. “No, no problems. The principal just told me this. The children must now study for the tests.” We foreigner teachers are not usually involved in tests and invigilation. I knew this but was still sure I would be able to work until at least the twentieth of January. I have some February winter classes lined up at another organisation and a Saturday job, so not all is lost.
“Can I come back in March, the next semester?” There was a hint of pleading in my voice as I tried to search for any more “truth”.
“Yes, I am sure.”
I tried to read past the blankness in her face, its friendly ignorance about my shock at the news. But I couldn’t penetrate that slight smile, just a fraction more of an upward curve than Mona Lisa’s.
This is how contract employment at schools in China works. You go through an agency as most schools are not licensed to hire laowai, foreigners, and either you get paid a salary (usually not good) or get paid by the hour, which is better. I was being paid by the hour. So here I was in a situation where my expected salary for the month had just been reduced by nearly three quarters. And not even a “Happy New Year”?
My interest in writing this blog is the traumas many of us go through. I have “dealt” with deaths, moving, losing jobs now five times, changing countries. How do we deal with those; what tools are we given to deal with them?
Notice above how my way to deal with the discourteous four days’ notice, and no apology, was humour: “And not even a “Happy New Year”?”
My second “way of dealing” was to go into a kind of shock and a complete lack of motivation in teaching the rest of my lessons for the day. As far as I was concerned, I had been treated like shit, and readers know I rarely swear on blogs, unless it is appropriate. I left at lunch time and sent Joy a message. “I cannot do the afternoon classes as I must now find another job. After Friday I have no work. I also want to try and go for interviews”. I got back the empathic, compassionate message, “OK”. (See? I am using sarcasm to cope.) Indeed, I did go on the internet and trawled for work and sent off emails.
What was amusing was the series of text messages I received that afternoon from the manageress, Jessica, at the agency that put me into the school and which pays me. She would have been told I now finished on the eighth. One text message was, “The school just told us you have quit and are looking for another job? What’s wrong?”
Come on guys, that text message is hilarious. By now Jessica must have known I was out of work by Friday, so there was in essence no job to quit, and, um, of course I would be looking for work elsewhere. And her question, “What’s wrong?”?? Given the fact I was just told I was out of a job, hers could be the dumbest question I have ever been asked in my life. Any contenders for dumber questions?
Naturally, I dealt with despondency and a sense of failure this week. This is apparently more typical of men than women. “You are a failure”, the inner voice kept telling me. “No you’re not,” demurred Chookie, my missus. I dealt with that by cancelling some more lessons as I really then couldn’t give a stuff for the school because of the way they had treated me. Again, my entire sense of motivation to do my job, which I am usually very conscientious about, was lost. Also, Chookie, was really sick in bed and could use my company. That — just somehow — was now far more important.
One of the things I like doing to enjoy life more and to stay upbeat and creative is reading inspirational literature. I know some people out there gag on that. But people like Deepak Chopra and Eckhart Tolle are most inspiring. Who on earth wants to turn to Freud or Jean-Paul Sartre for inspiration and solace? For example, Deepak Chopra recently brought out a book called Why is God Laughing? In the book I appreciated being reminded that we tend to rely on external events for our happiness. Our identities are based on our jobs, and that that is who we are, which is a lie. So, if I lose my job, I am a failure. Not true. Laughter, of course, he discusses as one way of detaching or distancing oneself from externally based identities such as job, title or money — and losing them. “Problems are just opportunities in disguise”, as he says elsewhere in the book, hardly a new one to me, but one that I enjoyed being reminded about and using to shift my focus on gloom.
Some of what Deepak Chopra writes is common sense — and common sense is often not common practice, some will say — but it is inspired common sense that is just great in times like these. He says of challenges: “In Nature every challenge is met with a response. As dinosaurs die out, mammals thrive. As ferns give way to flowering plants, insects learn to feed on pollen. Creation and destruction move together, constantly in touch with each other.” This reminded me that we are far more than our jobs (yeah, yeah, easy to say, sure), which, in my case, was here one day, gone the next. Deepak then asks the reader to answer three simple questions. If your answer is “no” to all of them, then — glorified common sense — it is time to change direction, or something.
Am I acting easily, without struggle?
Do I enjoy what I am doing?
Are results coming of their own accord?
My answer to all three, right now, in terms of my job, is no. Which means I have to change direction and get out of the limiting, and, indeed, stifling habits of my safe little job and explore greater possibilities. I certainly will have a lot of time to go on semi-countryside walks around Shanghai and write, write, write. I have more book projects than what I know what to do with. Cracking China, my memoir, is due out in a few weeks in South Africa. So now I feel excited. Still a little despondent, fearful and cheesed off, but excited. A larger size parachute would be nicer, though.
In fact, writing this and sharing it with you, made me move a bit closer to “yes” on all those three questions of Deepak’s. This is because the act of writing and exploring my “retrenched” experience made me go back to my school and just teach the kids for the kids’ sake, not for the sake of my job. What also helped was just getting out the home and briskly walking the thirty-five minutes it takes me to get to school, picking up for breakfast a yummy traditional Chinese jidanbing, take-away “egg-cake”, usually with chives and garlic. Literally padkos, hey? Physical activity is so important in times like this, such as being jobless, reminding one of those who cannot even get out of their beds or wheelchairs.
Please share your experiences.
“Please share your experiences”
I was 24. Making an ABSURD amount of money for a 40-year-old, nevermind a 24-year old. The department needed a head to roll – just bottom-line decisions, and I was the least politically correct. I was male, did not have a wife and kids, I was young, easy to find a new job – I was the expedient choice.
There I was, a WHAM – White Heterosexual Afrikaans Male – in the new South Africa. Jobs were as short as Julius Malema’s book list.
So I started my own thing! Its now 10 years later, I’ve not worked for a boss since. Sometimes times were damn tough, other times it was gravy, but the freedom I’ve felt, the ease of life, in not HAVING to go to work, of sleeping in on a Monday if you feel like crap, of working late on a Friday when inspiration hits, is unbelievable.
I’m an entrepreneur now, I’ve made and lost money, and life is interesting – I simply cannot imagine ever having a superior above me ever again. I am nobody’s idea of rich, but I like the idea that I have the OPPORTUNITY. No one ever got rich working for a salary. But even if I only live the way I am now forever amen, the quality of life I have right now more than makes up for the fact that my finances aren’t flowing abundantly (yet).
Yep my China, and to make things worse more than half of all jobs advertised on internet does not even exist, they are from “Personnel agencies” that does not exist, people are only after your CV to get your personal detail for ID fraud etc etc…
Good luck!!
How did I cope with retrenchment? My initial response was tears (the FD handed me a tissue) followed by anger (my former colleagues suddenly treated me as if I didn’t exist), followed by months of depression after I found it tough to find another job. Unemployment, when it is not through choice, corrodes one’s sense of self.
By anticipation, as far as possible. And by being optimistic about the people I meet but cautiously pessimistic about the world.
I try ensure I am in a location where, all things being equal, there should be enough other jobs. And that I am, as far as possible, placed to take advantage.
It sounds like your approach may be similar in that you have alternatives lined up.
It can of course be a kick, particularly if you have a family to support. And it can be tough if you have a limited network. And I wouldn’t want to try it where the job I’m doing may be the only job for me in the market. I would, partly for that reason, generally also avoid smaller economies or countries. And, by extension, I would end up avoiding entire hemispheres and continents. But to each his own.
How not to cope? It’s probably obvious, but by introspection and a failure of stoicism. (You filter philosophical quotes into your posts. Here is Betrand Russell from the Conquest of Happiness in which he talks about stoicism: “I believe unhappiness to be very largely due to mistaken views of the world, mistaken ethics, mistaken habits of life . . .”)
When times are tough one simply raises the “materiality” threshold of things one worries about. How one introspectively “feels” about things takes a back seat. Proof? Peasants who live a harbscrabble existence don’t suffer existential crises.
Good luck – I hope it all works out.
Rod, you’re a good teacher and a good person – the fact that they don’t want your services is a reflection on them, not on you. I have been there and suffered the ‘what next’ agonies in the middle of the night, coupled with the illogical idea that I must be a bad person because some company which wanted to keep its shareholders happy, cut a swathe out of their business.
It is hard to keep the faith, but it is such an incredible learning process too. Keep your chin up, keep whatever humour you can dredge up even if it is of the black variety, and let us know how it goes. We’re on your side even if I can’t drop off a dinner of spag bol to keep you going!
I have been out of work for two years now, so instead of reading depressing news, I started a website sharing only positive stories, spiritnewsdaily.com. Life is a box of chocolate, eat up.
Rod it sounds like it’s time for a change.
Thanks guys – great responses. Oneflew, woof! I liked “When times are tough one simply raises the “materiality” threshold of things one worries about. How one introspectively “feels” about things takes a back seat. Proof? Peasants who live a harbscrabble existence don’t suffer existential crises.” I am not entirely convinced they dont have existential crises but hte less one is attached to material things, dervies one’s self worth etc rom them the better.
KB – very sweet offer! It reminds me of being back in SA and everyone rounding up for friends, bringing around meals etc and heck, spag bol is a cheap tasy meal that can really be stretched out!
Incidentally, if things really dont work out we will go to New Zealand by March as the family there can now legally sponsor us out, just one heck of a process because of stuff like marion’s missing birth certificate as some of you know from my “How do you extract a birth certificate from an extinct country (Zim) blog etc.
“Cracking Kiwi-land?” Heck I like the kiwis and North Shore, Auckland, where we will end up, was lovely to visit.
Sarah B, not only did you lose your job you went through isolation in a strange country and other things. I admire you pushed through. You have our email, keep in touch. How is the latest book on SA Insults selling?
Jump, and you’ll land. One door closes and you then look really hard for another which will open — which it will.
Of course it’s trite. Absurdly so. Almost insultingly so.
But it’s also true.
More is nog ‘n dag.
Believe it.
Blows like this occur only when we are not in the right place. In other words, they are corrections to our passage through life that lead us to better things. That, anyway, has repeatedly been my experience. Exciting things await you, Rod.
Rod,
In my career (in the fields of IT & chemistry) I have been made redundant 5 times. Each time, it was no reflection on me – but it certainly felt like it…
Each time, I went through this “manic/depressive” cycle of elation (having been to an interview) and then depression (having not received the role) – until I found a new role.
More importantly, each time it turned out that I went to a better (more enjoyable/challenging) position with a higher rate of pay…
Good luck. You’ll see it when you believe it as one of Deepaks good friends say.
And you should know Chinese business ethics by now…just a number everywhere – bottom line, take away shop, unemployment line etc.
Go read some of Seth Godin’s blogs from some more inspiration!
I agree, Rod you are good guy!
Take this as I am: its simply entering another phase or form of life – as a new born would enter our world – and enjoy what it has to offer and claim what it wants from it.
I am facing the chop for political reasons it definitely will not be ‘sudden’ but all the same scary. I am happy as you are to have the support of good people like Chookie. They are rare!
I am saying: Dont look back, count your blessings and HIT the road!
I wish you all the best and look forward to your books!
By the way, Happy New Year!
Rod,
I wonder how much of the ‘coldness’ of administrators, the emotionless treatment of people in general, is the result of the systematic de-humanisation that characterises the ‘bricks and mortar’ style of communism in which any demonstration of empathy is seen as ‘anti-revolutionary’. (Ironic considering Marxists are supposed to be motivated by anger at privilege and empathy for the ‘masses’).
To show sensitivity to an individual somehow risks or diminishes the ‘collective’. Empathy in such a system is tantamount to criticising the ‘party’ and its policies. The ‘ideal’ citizen in such a state is reduced entirely to the status of a ‘function’, an expendable part in the huge state machine and consequently perceives everyone else that way.
Of course it also happens in capitalist settings but management styles are more diverse and allow for some empathy or at least some form of career transition counseling!
“Apparatchiks” take pride–and are rewarded for–their detachment from human feelings. And they don’t want to be reminded of how vulnerable they are. The ‘chop’ could fall on them at any time, for any reason–or no reason at all in what is by design an arbitrary system run on the whims (impersonal, of course!) of those higher up the party food chain.
In similar circumstances I find Alan Watts’ books The Wisdom of Insecurity and Does It Matter? helpful. Watts was an ice-breaker between East and West and so are you. Door slammed? Open a window…
Been there! Done that! Bought the T-shirt(s) and passed some of them on to charities.
A friend I and, both with zilch prospects and raising children alone, once decided that it was wrong to assume that out-of-work people are capable of even thinking the same way as those with work.
Keep walking. Every time you feel wretched, walk again. Any exercise releases the same sort of endorphins in the brain that depression medication offers. And walking’s free!
I have had friends who’ve lost their jobs for no other reason than that their salaries in a company have increased so much over a decade or more, that two juniors could be hired for less. Usually, they ended up far better off, with much better jobs within 3 months.
God may be trying to tell you something; perhaps you’ve been ignoring Him! I firmly believe He has moments when He corners you, for exactly that reason. Do your best to redirect yourself; perhaps you are ignoring the obvious…
Good luck! This may be your best year yet!
Small hint: try not to burn bridges; you never know when you might want to turn back.
Hi Siobhan – I LOVED Alan Watt’s The Wisdom of Insecurity – the title alone at that stage of my life , 2001, blew me away. He wenty from being an Anglican priest to leaving the church and exploring spirituality in an honest, risky manner. I will see if I can find chunks of his book on the internet. Scarface, I will look out for Seth Godin.
Thanks everyone for the commentary and the nice compliments and good advice… this is going to be a different year and a time to change direction.
Agreed on not burning bridges MLH – I more and more see the wisdom in The Art of War – keep your friends close and keep your enemies even closer!
Rod,
You have great talent and will bounce back. Please read this blog: http://skepticblog.org/author/chan/
Yau-Man’s English is not the greatest, but his mind is sharp, his wit is keen and his scientific logic cuts through the crap spoken by Chopra and Chinese medicine men.
Keep walking; try cycling too. Great for freeing the mind and good for the figure!
Vasbyt!
Good luck with the job search Rod.
I was in the same boat at the start of last year. It sucks! Well done for already having other stuff in the pipeline. Who knows what the future holds? Let yourself explore the many possibilities now ahead of you and heck, you’ll probably look back and be glad for the change.
Wineou – good to hear from you.
I have missed being told to “sin and go no more” or something like that, really have!
I wont ride a bicycle in Shanghai for love or money. Well, maybe lots of money.I will check that blog and report back.
I will start gym again tomorrow. Mind you, I said that yesterday…
Thanks Rod.
When you’ve looked at Yau-Man, if you feel like a little diversion you could try this one: http://www.wineou.co.za
Sterkte!