As I watch the electoral process unfold in SA from China I feel proud of my country. My heart jolted as I wrote the words, “my country”. The elections are being done peacefully, democratically. My heart was warmed by the sight in the Mail & Guardian of a picture of an IEC official helping a blind, elderly woman vote as that polling station had no Braille ballots.
Since leaving SA nearly five years ago to explore the world, live elsewhere – a dream of mine since childhood – I have never really missed the country much as I was too busy absorbing one or another culture. Sure, I had travelled overseas several times before leaving, SA (perhaps for good, perhaps not) but I had never worked in another country. Believe you me a quick two week or two month tour of a country does not get it into your being. Not at all. It was too difficult to miss SA as I was too occupied with experiencing (not always enjoying) other countries, England, France, New Zealand and, omigod, especially trying to crack China as my regulars well know. The latter was the serious culture shock, France was simply enchante.
Today, at school between lessons, as I watch through the window the spring leaves slowly flare out of the street side plane trees, I miss the old girl: SA I mean. What almost comes first to mind and heart is the purple drama of Gauteng (Gauteng! You make my heart sing…) thunderstorms: that electric hush and thrill to the air as I cycled in the Magaliesberg, then the rain pounding down and the sudden klap of lightning loosening the bowels. The smell of wet veldt and the bluegum and fir trees’ leaves darkly boiling sideways into the storm. Ten minutes of clobbering rain: then that spiky silence again as the Magaliesberg emerges from the storm again, shrugging herself off, refreshed and slowly starting to smoulder again in the long, dusty summers…
Braais come next (barbeques for non South Africans), and I suppose it is a question of upbringing, but there is nothing like a SA braai. I haven’t had one in fricken three years, and the last one was in New Zealand where I had to grudgingly (I emphasise grudgingly) admit the beef and lamb was better than South Africa’s, my bru. The Chinese have no clue; just about everything is cooked and drowned in oil. The first thing the Chook wants when we get to New Zealand next year is: 1) Her daughter Michelle to have a large packet of biltong with her when she collects us at the airport. 2) A braai with pap (sudsa) and tomato bredie and mielies simmering on the grate.
What still features in my nightly dreams like a spiritual yearning for transcendence are the forests in the Eastern and Western Cape, particularly the Tsitsikamma forest and hiking the Otter Trail. I was always way ahead of the group I was with and it was great to sit for a bit on a completely desolate strip of beach butt naked with a glass of whiskey and water, sweating from the day’s hike and look at the whales’ spume arcing in the distance, Plettenberg Bay starting to twinkle as the night breathed in. The forests: sitting under tall masts of pine as they sang and whispered, sailing me off into a deeper peace, only occasionally broken by a falling pine cone chuckling to the ground. I will never forget the smell of wept pine gum on my hands: my eyes moisten at that miracle of remembered scent even now.
My first alma mater is Rhodes University and today for the first time in many, many years, about two decades in fact, I looked at some pics of Rhodes on the internet and my heart ached to see all those white buildings and the hill leading up to the 1820 Settlers National Monument.
But I do not really miss the people. I have often thought about that and can only relate it to my ambivalent feelings for the Chinese. So here goes.
Things I dislike and find amusing about mainland Chinese is that they hawk and spit on the streets periodically right in front of you, they do not queue a lot of the time, and will happily jump in front of you in queues (Beijing had special training days for months before the Olympics to get people in bus and subway queues to behave like civilised people). On the street they point out foreigners and seem to ridicule us with their laughs and grins, talking about us openly. For the most part, even in the school I teach at (and I get on with the staff and kids very well) I am still just known as lawei, the foreigner. Wherever I go I am just referred to as lawei and of late it has been freaking me out.
I can’t go to the park on People’s Square and just smell the flowers and relax in silence under the pine trees, because every second Chinese has to walk up to me and try out their swak English on me. Now their friendly efforts might sound very sweet, dear reader, but when all you want to do is time out and just enjoy the beauty of the flowers in peace, but can’t, because nearly every time there are endless people quite happy to single you out as the only lawei in the park and disturb you. (My trick when I see someone about to start talking to me is to pretend I am asleep.)
The Chinese are daft, nutty, half-baked. (Anal-retentive, “politically correct” readers have accused me of being distasteful when I describe the Chinese; I don’t care a fig. ) For example, right now workers are refurbishing our apartment building, as part of Shanghai’s general facelift for World Expo 2010. We are on the twenty-second floor and live in a green cocoon of scaffolding and netting. This is the view from our kitchen window, somewhere on this blog. 
The first thing the workers did was paint the corridors white, just one or two coats, and no protective enamel paint, which is typical. Then, oh sweet heaven and all the saints and angels, only then did they start repairing windows, the elevator, the paving and wiring. The paintwork, only a few weeks old, is already spoilt with indelible grime, scuff marks and spatters of cement mix. What an utter waste of money and labour. Repairs to the building first surely, then the cosmetic bit where you paint all the walls. But honestly, these okes just don’t think, dammit think! And this is one of endless episodes I can tell you. It’s hilarious living in “The Middle Kingdom”!
But I love the Chinese. They are unbelievably friendly, viscerally so. And generous. I have got friends for life and two wonderful god-daughters. Once in the rain a distinguished looking Chinese rolled down his electronic car window and tossed me an umbrella, singling me out from the dozen or so Chinese also standing in the downpour. Positive discrimination. We gave our ayi (maid) Salina a Christmas present of chocolates once and she got us socks, scarves and legwarmers. We weren’t expecting anything. We were embarrassed and moved by her loving kindness and knew she really just wanted to be part of our little family.
I will be talking and writing about the daft, wonderful Chinese for years to come and will definitely miss them, but South Africans? Not really. (Though I am thrilled I recently made contact with an old school mate of mine, a friendship that goes back to standard seven in Boksburg High in 1978 and with whom I stowed away on a ship in Cape Town in 1982 headed for France because we took great exception to compulsory military service.)
Why? I don’t know. But I can make some guesses, such as maybe, just maybe too many are too busy being “politically correct” or playing one race card or another. Maybe I will try and answer the question in a future blog, depending on the response, if any, of that glorious, hilarious, multi-faceted and feisty character, the ta-daah…Thought Leadership Commentary!
nice insight into another culture.
but your passport will be revoked after admiting the Kiwi meat taste better than ours!
I enjoyed reading this, Rod. I admire you for learning to fit in, in a culture so obviously different from S.A. It’s certainly understandable, your missing home. I love where I live and now consider it home, but sometimes I stil have a yearning for S.A (and it features in my dreams frequently). I agree with you about the people, though. It seems like South Africans, especially the ones still living there, have become rather trying. I find them a bit pretentious and uptight, compared to the wonderful people I live amongst now. Perhaps it’s just the change they’re going through … who knows?
Anyway, thanks for conjuring up beautiful memories and visuals. There’s no place quite like S.A!
Dude are you saying you don’t miss some SA individuals?
Here’s some of the stuff on the ground you might appreciate watching.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHzg7NnA9Qw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqg1rPeJLpM
Hi Rod, I understand what you say ….Tsitsikamma is my favorate place in the whole world!! I am a boertjie (and proud oud Matie) who lives in Saudi for the past 7 years. While I did not bother to registered to vote, I am also extremely proud of our country and the ANC. All these “tjankers” (cry babies)and doem-profete should get a life. Which other country can hold peaceful elections, and at the same time stage a cricket show, while the poeple enjoy long – weekends at Plett with good wine and braais? Not the US or UK – they in deep are in financial sh…..
I have seen enough in my times to know and accept that “democracy” is FAR overrated. It is WE the poeple that can makes live good – not the politicians. They should come to the Gulf – or, better, the sub-continant; or China – as you say (I go to Beijing regularly on business).
We South Africans (veral die rassistiese boer expats) has become like the Lebanese … where ever you travel, you hear them …Complaining … but they still miss THE SAME THINGS …
Looks and sounds like you need to go home for a while,Boet?
Rod, you really should ask Marion for those Shona spellings, sudsa really got me.
Sadza nenyama definitely. Always found ‘pap’ such a revolting word, it’s something that should be applied to something gruelly and grey I’m sure, not that fluffy, springy mass that goes so well with peanut butter chicken and muriwo (by far my personal first choice over the braai).
(and yes, do apply the labels for the pernickety corrections – my favourite is ‘control freak’ but there are other, less savoury ones)
Two things I miss 1) Weather – The UK weather is really crap. I try to balance it’s ubiquity with that of my memories of the ubiquity of crime in SA, so I guess there is a balance, in my mind at least. 2) The people. I left SA at age 38 and it is not easy re-stablishing networks and that “sense of community” even though there was so much social re-engineering going on in SA. On the other hand, the English are very stand-offish and do not invite you into their hearts easily.
Tomato, tomayto.
Kit – thanks for the correction. I didn’t even know sadza was a Shona word.
Marion just shouted back from the kitchen to say it is Shona. She’s actually ex-Zimbabwean.
There are just so many words I used in SA which I don’t know the provenance of or how to spell. Nenyama I know is meat. BTW, the Chinese also use the interrogative particle “ne?” which Xhosas and Coloureds are fond of when asking questions. Not the Afrikaans ne with an inflection above, which sound like neh, but more like nih.
For example “I am cold” can be followed by ni ne? meaning, “you question particle”?, whereas in English we’d say, I am cold, and you?
Also, yifu is clothing in Chinese (upper body clothing), and if I remember correctly, it is also the Zulu word for clothing.
Johan – you have hit the nail on the head – the SA guys that whine and complain are definitely the ones I do not miss.
‘these okes just don’t think, dammit think…’
Having renovated a house in SA, this stirred up some memories!
Refreshing to hear that the Chinese aren’t exactly the unstoppable manufacturing machine they’re often painted as.
Worried about the democracy process in SA? Worried the black people can’t do anything without violence? Well now you see for yourself, South African blacks can do it peacefully.
The Chinese American and recent Chinese immigrant with limited English, can succeed and flourish in California, even without their own government support…What can you do in China beside teaching English? and you call Chinese people half baked, nutty etc…
People just want to show you respect and kindness by giving you umbrella in the rain, and you seems happy with the “positive” discrimination, seems like you happy because you think the Chinese are treating each other worse than you race…you feel special…
Perhaps you need to see how the Chinese government assemble its own people in order for you to see from the other perspective…
What a typical white south African mentality…no wonder you don’t miss South Africa now…
So what’s your next destination to teach your English? Cambodia? any other country which you feel can make you special?
Why don’t you try California? or London? You don’t get special treatment there?
i also miss the sound of the turtle doves when you wake up in the morning (anywhere in sa), shhhh, listen….. can you hear them?
“We gave our ayi Christmas present of chocolates once and she got us socks, scarves and legwarmers.”
This is our 7th year in China and there may be something you have not yet understood. Chinese guanxi – relationship – is if you give me, I owe you. For us S’Africans we give because we like people – we expect nothing in return. Not so in China. Your ayi (maid) gave you a gift probably because you gave her one. This is the culture. We have stopped giving gifts because often those who cannot afford to feel indebted to give in return. Sad but true.
Jim (Part one) Jim – consider it a privilege and an honour that you are about to get a lesson on how to argue, think and present your thoughts coherently. Usually I charge.
“You open with a series of meaningless, rhetorical questions where you put words in my mouth: Worried about the democracy process in SA? Worried the black people can’t do anything without violence? Well now you see for yourself, South African blacks can do it peacefully.” I never said any of that, and certainly did not imply anywhere on my blog that South African blacks cannot do anything without violence. Then there is another empty, rhetorical question, “What can you do in China beside teaching English?” Quite a lot actually. But the other work and projects I am involved in are none of your business. And are you saying there is something wrong with teaching Enlgish to people and giving them a marketable tool that they want? What are you saying, dear boy?
“seems like you happy (sic) because you think the Chinese are treating each other worse than you race…you feel special”, again you are putting words in my mouth, thoughts in my mind. And why didn’t the gentleman toss the brolly to one of the Chinese? It was just a wonderful, dotty moment of hospitality which you spoil for yourself because your thinking is incoherent and confused.
“Perhaps you need to see how the Chinese government assemble (sic) its own people in order for you
Jim (Part 2)“Perhaps you need to see how the Chinese government assemble (sic) its own people in order for you to see from the other perspective”… what on earth does this have relevance to or mean? And on that particular note my grandmother baked cookies in the school lunch shop once upon a time and the kids apparently liked the ones with chocolate melted on top.…
“What a typical white south African mentality…no wonder you don’t miss South Africa now” I do miss South Africa as per what I wrote in the blog and haven’t the faintest clue what you mean by a typical white SA mentality. Special treatment? Sounds like you are just playing the boring old race card.I don’t look for special treatment; life is what you make of it.
Jim lad, you ask a series of empty questions which shows no ability to think. You are assuming things about me/my blog and an assumption is the worst form of knowledge, as it has no basis. Try answering the questions you posed for yourself based on more than assumptions and you will see that the questions are shallow and decrepit. Mind you, I don’t think you have the ability to see that, given all your projections.
Hi Triston – I hear you. Sometimes that is the case, giving every time you receive (hilariously so if you ever get to read my memoir), sometimes not. I really think, as per the blog and in my memoir where Salina features, that she desperately wanted to feel part of us. She was actually divorced and desperately lonely, and also emotionally insecure. That does not come out in this simple blog, I deal with it more in my memoir.
Howzit Rod
Thanks for another thought provoking article. As you can see I’m a few of your blogs “behind” but that comes with all my flying to Cape Town and Bahrain and the tons of work I’m trying to play catch-up with. Some really good (and some useless) comments on this blog but I just feel I needed to comment on your statement that you miss South Africa (in a geographical sense), but not the people. And also (yet again), the culture shock that China was, and still sometime is. And, as I have seen again last week with the ex-pats in Saudi and Bahrain, I think you are a bit confused here my dear friend. You are not really just missing the country in a geographical sense. It is the PEOPLE you miss Rod. It is the people that makes up this country (and any other country) as a whole. A Braai is surely not just about the skaaptjoppies en braaibroodjies! What you really miss is that kinship, fellowship and friendship of your pals around the fire. The Tsitsikama and Otter Trail sure is beautiful, but so are a zillion other places in South Africa too, and even more so. And a lot of SA city folk is guilty of that perception too. I can name you hundreds of places in SA (that I have been to) that is even more beautiful. It took a dear Swiss friend to open my eyes again to experience the
Part two….It took a dear Swiss friend to open my eyes again to experience the true beauty of my own Groot Karoo where my family comes from. And in 1996 in Morocco it took a French astronomer and myself crying and hugging to show me the beauty of the Sahara…. It is the people Rod. Not the place.
One of my most memorable moments were, when after an extended stay in Europe, I got on a SAA flight from Zurich to Johannesburg, and the first person I saw on the plane was an air hostess with a nametag proudly proclaiming ‘VAN DER MERWE’. I nearly hugged her there and then, and also knew for sure that I am on my way home to a dop with my friend at my local in Paulshof.
And last, but not the least boet. Stop telling us that cr*p about New Zealand beef and lamb. Who was your butcher and who was your braaier? (Quoted from a Bahreini restaurateur -The Meat Company : ”….. planning to get SA meat in as I am tired of the NZ k*k”).
The people make the place.
Cheers for eers
Phil
Howzit Phil… funnily enough I don’t feel I miss the people, except a few like you. This does not mean I dislike saffers, no way. But agh a braai with laods of beer and the manne? You are right there.
Sorry boet but the meat in New Zealand was excellent and my mouth waters as I write this. Have you been to Kiwi land? Let me assure you the meat is just…lekker.
One day you and I have just got to get together for a dop and braai… I just may be visiting SA by year end by the way. Will let you know.
Lekker bly
Now come and visit Rod! Just stay clear of JZ
hehe 
Its two years since you posted this – have only now seen it – and was so moved by your evocation of the Transvaal weather and smells and sounds – I left 14 years ago and although I’m happy where I am, I can feel homesickness growing – creeping up on me – I have to go back for an extended visit soon. Did you go back? or are you still in China? Hard choice, that, but a wonderful thing to do nevertheless!
Hi Kathrin thanks – well actually Marion and I are back in China after a year in new Zealand and thoroughly enjoying it