I stared in awe and envy at the large sign above the public loo. “Come, easy go in rushing”. Me being me, the Freudian meaning first sparkled through my mind: “Take it slowly as you build up to a climax”. Well, I knew the sign could not have that steamy meaning even though loads of…
I recently had a fresh cultural shock here in China: seven to 10-year-old kids, at the primary school I sometimes teach at, who have a fondness for running up and touching my backside. Including in class. I tried to understand the reason why. I think it’s because Westerners, by and large (forgive the pun), actually have butts. There…
I will never forget it. I was one of those young men back in the early eighties who had a choice: two years’ military conscription or four years in jail. I disliked either option but chose the shorter “jail” sentence and thankfully ended up as a telex operator. One of the little businesses going on…
It depressed me a bit to write the title for this column, playing on one of the late Hitchen’s book titles, God is not Great. I think nothing can ever be achieved by slamming other people’s religious beliefs. Those people are going to continue holding on to their beliefs. Perhaps even more dearly. The attack…
Daily I take a 45-minute bus trip to the school I teach at in Che Feng (pronounced something like chaw fa-ang). The place is an eye-opener in terms of poverty and beauty. Where I get on is a relatively “posh” area by Chinese standards. Though there is still a lot of poverty there are plenty…
I think it is highly significant that while I teach children I am facing a clock on the wall behind them. They are about ten years old, bodies twinkling with life and laughter, oblivious to “clock time”. They relish the present moment as I try and keep my lessons chock-a-block with games. I am a…
It’s just more embarrassing to watch oral sex on the big screen because it is just that much more in your face. The sexy Hollywood actor slid down the gorgeous Hollywood actress’s quivering body towards her you know what. Courteously — or rather in line with movie ratings — the camera did not pan across…
“I won’t take money from you for my socks!” the sock lady cries, “Take them! They’re yours for free”. “No ways, you’re crazy,” I mutter in Chinese. She is shaking her hand at me, palm raised in the classic Han Chinese gesture for NO. (This was like waving a red flag at a bull in…
He is staring as if from a void, which is what catches my attention as I stand at the blackboard. His eyes are pristine, tear-less, lit from without, not within. The Chinese gentleman leans on his broom like a Gandalf, watching me attentively through the classroom window. The Chinese children here in a poor “village”,…
The Oriental woman strolling casually in front of me was wearing the smallest skirt clinging to her hips that I have ever seen. Without even trying (scouts’ honour, cross my heart) I could actually see the crotch area of her fishnet stockings and the lower part of her cheeks. The horizontal clefts in her bottom…
