Very often when we think of war, we think machine guns and soldiers. We think demolished homes and buildings, even imagining the prisoners and survivors it leaves. That is what the media shows as war – the haunted looks in people’s eyes, clearly showing their fear and tortured souls. But war is much more than the image it brings to the eye. War is brutal and wounds not just physically and emotionally; it scars even the mind.
We believe South Africa not to be a country at war. There are no dead bodies. There are no soldiers forcefully entering homes. We are not walking the streets fearing gunshots and we certainly do not sit in our homes fearing drones.
But a look beyond the obvious tells a different story. We are a nation deeply in the midst of war – with women being the war zones. It is not homes that are entered forcefully, it is women’s bodies. It is not gunshots we live in fear of; we fear our partners, fathers, uncles, teachers and even the man on the street. This fear is justified by a 2010 Statistics SA finding that 38.4% of sexual offences victims were victimised by a known community member. For 22% of the sexual offence victims, the perpetrators were unknown community members and 15.8% were relatives. However in the year leading up to April 2012, it was found that 40% of all reported sexual offences were committed against children, meaning women also live in fear for their children.
It is estimated that a woman is killed by her male partner every six hours, giving South Africa the highest rate of death by domestic violence in the world.
According to the World Health Organisation, 60 000 women and children in South Africa are victims of domestic violence every month – and those are just the cases that are reported. Chandre Gould, a senior researcher at the Institute for Security Studies, writes that “Research by Gender Links and the Medical Research Counci conducted in Gauteng found that although 51.2% of women had experienced some form of physical, sexual or psychological violence at some point, only 0.3% had reported cases of domestic violence to the police.” This in turn suggests that 60 000 per month is but the tip of the iceberg of the actual number of domestic violence cases in the country.
Women face regular assault, not only in the streets, but also in the very homes meant to be their sanctuaries. Earlier this year, Interpol found South Africa to be the world’s rape capital and yet it is believed that less than 1% of rape cases are reported to police. Women also deal with regular rape, “jackrolling” (leisure gang rape) and “corrective rape”. These atrocities, however, only make up a small number of the horrors faced by women daily in South Africa. This, coupled with prejudice, misogyny and the structural violence women endure as a result of poverty and socio-economic inequalities further deepen the abuse faced by South African women. Whether we are in the street, at church and even in our own homes, women face some kind of abuse and very little is being done to address it.
We need to realise that this is not ‘their’ story – it is OUR story. It is the story of every woman – our mothers, daughters, sisters, aunties, nieces and friends. It is the story of every Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) survivor and the story of the Namibian woman who was forcefully sterilised. It is the story of the women of Libya, Kenya, Egypt, Somalia and elsewhere – all united by the common thread of extreme deep hurt, physical pain and the kind of abuse no person should undergo. You see, the war is not unique to South Africa; it is a war that cuts across countries – taking place even in other countries not considered to be “war zones”.
Until we accept that we are at war, we will continue to be unable to comprehend the urgency needed to deal with the gross abuse and violation of women. We cannot continue to silently sit back and witness the abuse of our grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins and friends.
“Interpol found South Africa to be the world’s rape capital and yet it is believed that less than 1% of rape cases are reported”
Its incredible how gullible you are to believe questionable statistics.
Once again Africa is stereotyped for is “barbaric” practice of “Female Genital Mutilation” but the west turns a blind eye to the practice of “Male Genital Mutilation” that is accepted as normal in the Jewish and Islamic societies and practiced all over the world!
However, you vainly tried to redeem yourself at the end by stating ” the war is not unique to South Africa; it is a war that cuts across countries”, but your fundamental problem is your lack of critical thinking abilities that makes you believe any statistic from organizations with hidden political agendas through their constant interference in Africa – a continent and people that outlasted invading empires and produced great souls that have changed the course of human history. Koketso, if only you cease this self-flagellation and open your eyes to the greatness of Africa and its culture!
Violence is not, as you seem to portray, some misogynistic aspect of African culture, but rooted in our violent past where our humanity, both black and white, was severely compromised by an evil system. Unfortunately, even though our laws have changed, there are no quick fixes to restore our humanity towards each other. The “war” isn’t between the sexes, but with each other to feel completely human again.
@Moeti, the war against women in SA as you might called it, would end when the women armed themselves. You should be calling for the women in SA to arm themselves, to protect their family and themselves. The police can’t protect people from crime, it’s the responsible of the people to protect themselves by fighting back. This is another bleeding heart article about crime in SA, with the author failure to call for the population, to arm themselves for protection.
First, let’s not get carried away and have a close look at the statistics.
South Africa has a population of 50 million people, 25 million women, and if 10% of people are gay, that would be 2.5 million lesbians.
The corrective rape statistics are that since 1998, 31 lesbians have been murdered and have been reported. That is 2.38 per year, out of 2.5 million.
(Source: http://www.actionaid.org.uk/doc_lib/correctiveraperep_final.pdf )
So the only discussion is about the rate of underreporting and the quality of the source of the data.
South Africa has 50,000 reported rapes per year, and with an underreporting rate of 43.8% (56.2% are reported), that would be 89,000 actual rapes per year.
(Source: http://www.statssa.gov.za/Publications/Rape/Rape.pdf
Table 4: The rate of reporting rape to the police and reasons for not reporting
(all figures are weighted)
Reporting to the police
Yes 56,2%
No 43,8% )
If anyone has a better source of data than StatsSA, I’m ready to hear it.
I don’t know why ‘corrective rape’ all of a sudden is all over the news, but it feels like a campaign to me. That’s an interesting course of investigation too.
On the inflation and insipid racism that still of course underlines the thinking of white brought up under the krypto-fascist system of apartheid, this is from one of the MRC researchers Rachel Jewkes, whose questionnaire made headlines around the world.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/18/south-africa-rape-study-1_n_217266.html
Contrary to what the screaming headlines would lead you to believe, only *two* of the seven questions deal with stranger rape (essentially the same question, once asked in the singular, once in the plural). Two deal with acquaintance rape, two with intoxitation, and the seventh only deals with the number of times that were involved. The questionnaire does not show the results of the survey, and which question was answered positively the most (we have to guess).
http://www.mrc.ac.za/gender/interfaceofrape&hivsarpt.pdf
1) How many times have you slept with a woman or girl when she was too drunk to say whether she wanted it or not?
2) How many times have you and other men had sex with a woman at the same time when she was too drunk to stop you?
3) Did you ever force a girlfriend or your wife into having sex with you?
4) Was ever there a time when you forced an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife into having sex?
5) Did you ever force a woman who was NOT your wife or girlfriend at the time to have sex with you?
6) How many times have you slept with a woman or girl when she didn’t consent to sex or after you forced her?
7) How many times have you and other men had sex with a woman at the same time when she didn’t consent to sex or you forced her?
Conflating ‘date rape’ (intoxication) with stranger gangrape is inflammatory and misdirects the public response. Rather than being more aware about date rape, it directs women toward fearing stranger rape, and as a result they start taking self defense classes, burglary alarms, and buying fire arms to protect themselves against attacks from strangers. When they would be much better off taking common sense precautions – not getting drunk in public or at parties, looking for parties with considerable numbers of women around, etc.
However, it raises more funds to claim that everyone is at risk from marauding gangs. Which is what she did.
Good piece, but it helps a great deal practically to explore what needs to be done to resolve this war of the sexes.
I’m not sure that the analogy of war is entirely appropriate: while perhaps the greatest tragedy of war is the destruction and harm to civilians and their environment, the metaphor brings to mind the image of two forces, both armed, battling against one another. In the case of rape, there is one oppressor/attacker (the rapist) harming an unwilling victim/survivor, who is (by default) not a participant.
However, I do think the author is making a valid point, and while I can criticise the chosen analogy, I do not have a better “vehicle” (analogy) to suggest.
While I’m not going to get into the matter of statistics, their validity and interpretation, I’d like to offer some responses to previous responses:
@Dave Harris: Female genital mutilation and circumcision have in common that they involve the removal of some parts of the genitals, and I won’t deny that arguments could be made, in at least some cases, that circumcised men did not consent to the process. However, that’s where the similarities end, as far as I know. FGM involves the removal of (often) all the “bits” that would make sex pleasurable for women. I don’t have a penis, so can’t speak from own experience, but as far as I’ve heard, there are many circumcised men who still thoroughly enjoy sex. I know of adult men willingly consenting to circumcision. I’ve not heard of the equivalent in women, unless a medical problem required it.
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@Sterling Ferguson: Do I understand correctly that you’re inferring that guns (and other weapons) are the solution to this situation?
@MrK: You’re right. The matter of “corrective rape” has only recently begun receiving media attention. Perhaps so many of us are incensed because it is a particularly vile combination of rape, homophobia and violence? Because class-issues are so often involved? Because this crime is an atrocity that is fuelled by a variety of forms of hatred and discrimination? If it is a campaign, I’d suspect it’s a righteous one, aimed at raising awareness.
Rape is rape. It’s wrong. The context in which it happens, doesn’t change the nature of the crime: it can merely add to it.
In cases of date-rape, it’s rape + the horror of being attacked by someone trusted (at least to some extent).
When the context includes violence, it’s rape + physical assault.
When it’s corrective rape, it’s rape + hate crime.
Gang rape: multiple rapes + conspiracy between rapists + the further humiliation of being raped while others watch (often, + violence).
Thank you for the article, Ms Moeti.
Harris always accuses others of lacking “critical thinking abilities” when he displays a complete lack of them.
Yes Harris, circumcision of newly born baby boys is bad, as it is a decision they should be able to make for themselves. But when compared with female genital mutilation, it is like comparing applies and oranges. Either you are completely ignorant of just how bad FGM is, or you are being deliberately dishonest (which wouldn’t surprise anyone who knows how you operate).
And once again, as on Jen Thrope’s blog, Harris does not provide a shred of evidence as to how the rape statistics are wrong, but just wails hysterically about the fact they are mentioned.
@Harris: “Once again Africa is stereotyped for is “barbaric” practice of “Female Genital Mutilation” but the west turns a blind eye to the practice of “Male Genital Mutilation” that is accepted as normal in the Jewish and Islamic societies and practiced all over the world!”
Dave, Dave, Dave! You’ve got to learn to be a little more circumspect in your diatribes, Dave.
No doubt Cde. Zuma has already drafted a memo to you with regard to the number of circumcised ANC members, including himself, along with Cdes. Mandela and Mbeki. You know, part of “the greatness of Africa and its culture”?
Well, he might leave Thabo out.
@Hippiegoth, the criminals will committed crime that they can get away with and not get caught. Ted Bundy was able to killed over a hundred women because the women didn’t fight back. However, one of his victims did fight back and was able to point him out to the police. Speaking of rape of children, the parents of these children should be jailed for neglecting their children. There is no way a three year old child should be out of the sight of their parents or an adult. So, these women have to learn to defend themselves and look for the justice system to protect them.
It is a very disturbing set of statistics and there is little sign of improvement. It’s all very well to have a female police commissioner and leading foreign affairs but I wish they would do something to act on the issue and reduce the vulnerability of women.
Hahahahaha! Equating female genital mutilation with Western male circumcision … That’s dave hilarious for you.
Dave Harris,
” Once again Africa is stereotyped for is “barbaric” practice of “Female Genital Mutilation” but the west turns a blind eye to the practice of “Male Genital Mutilation” that is accepted as normal in the Jewish and Islamic societies and practiced all over the world! ”
Not only that, but the WHO is conducting mass circumcision drives in Africa. All of it based on fraudulent data, from lifelong circumcision activists, who cooked the books to make it seem like circumcision is this huge protection against HIV infection.
Read:
The Use of Male Circumcision to Prevent HIV Infection
A statement by Doctors Opposing Circumcision
http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/HIVStatement.html
This is shere medical malpractice, and a direct violation of the hippocratic oath – first, do no harm. For more articles on the subject, also see:
http://maravi.blogspot.com/2012/05/sticky-newzimbabwe-150-mps-to-undergo.html
http://maravi.blogspot.cpm/2012/07/sticky-sunday-mail-zw-were-we-fooled.html
@Dave: Female genital mutilation (FGM) is a procedure that involve partial or total removal of the labia and/or or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons. A FGM survivor will never experience an orgasm and sexual intercourse is extremely painful. So no, Mr. Dave ‘critical thinker’ Harris- it cannot be compared to circumcision, which if done properly causes no such damage.
Contrary to what you may believe, FGM is not unique to Africa (and nowhere in the article did I say it is). FGM occurs in western countries, including the UK (here’s some reading for you: http://m.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jul/25/female-circumcision-children-british-law?cat=society&type=article)
No, my only source is not from stats. I’ve actually done quite a lot of sexual offence related work & contrary to what you would like to believe about humanity- reality is that women do face horrors unique to women that are protected by people such as yourself- who fail to see the problem the patriarchal system in which we operate. Your part of SA is great, for the majority the rape culture is alive & well- amongst much more.
Also, let’s say we take away the stats mentioned & assume they are incorrect/incorrectly interpreted. Does it make rape, sexual violence, etc more acceptable? Does it make them less of a physical, emotional & mental violation? Does it address the reality that women are facing some of the most horrific violations? Whether it is 1 or 50 rapes, it is still too much. Any and all forms of rape are unacceptable.
@David, thanks your input is noted.
@Reducto, sometimes accusations say more about the person making them- than those being accused…
@hippiegoth, thanks for the further clarifications. It is very disturbing to see how often rape is lost in the context of its occurence, we just seem to llose sight of how horrific a crime it is- because of ‘how’ it happened.
Also, here’s some further reading for anyone interested:
Filmed or Not, Rape is a Vicious Crime: http://www.asafeworldforwomen.org/womens-rights/wr-africa/wr-south-africa/2384-rape-is-a-vicious-crime.html
Corrective Rape: the Horror in Our Townships: http://www.asafeworldforwomen.org/womens-rights/wr-africa/wr-south-africa/2055-corrective-rape-the-horror-in-our-townships.html
@MrK: I for one agree that circumcision is unnecessary. However, that still does not put it on par with FGM in the slightest.
Many men make the decision to be circumcised. No women, without pressure from patriachal society, makes a decision to have her genitals mutilated in a way that completely deprives her of enjoying sex for the rest of her life.
So really, harping on about about male circumcision when FGM is the topic of discussion is ridiculous. Apples and oranges.
Why are people arguing about the pedantic of statistics? would it matter if we were the Gold Medalists or the Bronze in this sport? Seriously, get a grip. It is a problem and it is unacceptable (unless these misogynists think it is there right to abuse a woman and it is acceptable?). Regardless of our ‘ranking’, the figures out of UNICEF are scary.
Too long have women been seen as nothing more than personal slaves in this country. It is time we went back to being seen as strong humans. This nonsense about women being prey is a new thing and the saddest part is that WE (the women) allow it. It is past time that we stand up as women for ourselves and for our sisters.
The hand that rocks the cradle, rocks the world. Let us make sure to rock the cradle the right way. Every boy child must learn from his mother that you do not raise your hand to a female. Every girl child must learn that she is worthy and must never stand for any form of abuse (nor give any). Only then will we see change
@Koketso, I think it is incorrect to be dismissive of Dave’s views. He raises a valid point of mutilation of male and female genitalia as a practise. The point is not the varying degrees of orgasms or wht it is called, the fact remains that there is cutting and scarring of perfectly healthy human tissue. If there is contestation then it should be a point of the debate, or a point of order. Also, inasmuch as we raise these issues of patriarchy we must also raise the issues of matriarchy. The debate of women is not a complicated debate but an extremely complex issue. eg When we talk about rights and equality of women we talk about one layer of an issue that affects women. Also when we talk about the triple challenges, we talk about something different. But what is absent in this debate is the issue of tribalism and culture. When you refer to female mutilation, we talk about an issue located within certain cultures and beliefs. When we talk about male mutilation, we talk about practises within certain cultures hence there is no homogeny on these or other practises. But what about the overriding issues that affects all women? Have we agreed on our issues. Do we support each other in terms of our issues? Are we homogenous? Are i solidarity with women across the world for instance. I believe our major weakness is our strength. ie Our Unity and solidarity. How many times do we seen women pull each other down? How many times have we seen women defend men for indefensible deeds?
Reducto,
” Many men make the decision to be circumcised. No women, without pressure from patriachal society, makes a decision to have her genitals mutilated in a way that completely deprives her of enjoying sex for the rest of her life. ”
This may be true, but the mass circumcision drive does not only involve adult men, they want to circumcise every newborn baby in the country. Clearly, they have no say in the matter at all, and will have to live ow the lifelong consequences of this evil policy. |
Apology for the error in the link posted above, here is the correct link, and for details on the mass circumcision drive of newborns, see:
http://maravi.blogspot.com/2012/07/sticky-sunday-mail-zw-were-we-fooled.html
@Koketso
Apologies for being overly harsh in my criticism of your thinking, but you should look deeper into the intent behind much of these statistics masquerading as facts.
My point is not to compare FGM with MGM but to show you the blatant double standards
of these organizations with hidden political agendas that constantly spew out these statistics.
There is one standard for Africa and another for the rest of the world because this provides the justification to interfere in Africa under the pretext of “saving the woman and children”. African culture does not promote hatred and disrespect for woman!!! Rape is an act of violence and the underlying cause of this violence in our society needs to be addressed.
Reading from all the comments above I come to this conclusion: It is still a long way to go for women to fight for protection when it comes to sexual violations. We are on our own full-stop.
@MrK: Yes, I agree, it is a bad policy. However circumcision is still in no way comparable to FGM.
Mass castration of boys would be more comparable to FGM. Of course, a woman who has been subject to FGM can still actually have sex unlike a castrated man, but given the fact it is now completely devoid of enjoyment, in fact painful, she might as well not have sex.
Also, cultures that practice FGM see women being sexually aroused as a bad thing, full stop. There is no such similar motive behind circumcision, no belief that men must be deprived of being able to enjoy sex.
Indeed, Khuselwa. Sadly you are right.
Unfortunately the fallacious “two wrongs make a right” argument that perpetuates these blogs serves only to obfuscate and deflect from the real issues.
Clitoridectomy aka FGM is analogous to cutting off a man’s glans.
Individuals who insist on obfuscating the discussion with comparisons with circumcision need a lesson in basic anatomy or a psych consult.
FGM is indefensible. Full stop.
hippiegoth,
” @MrK: You’re right. The matter of “corrective rape” has only recently begun receiving media attention. Perhaps so many of us are incensed because it is a particularly vile combination of rape, homophobia and violence? Because class-issues are so often involved? Because this crime is an atrocity that is fuelled by a variety of forms of hatred and discrimination? If it is a campaign, I’d suspect it’s a righteous one, aimed at raising awareness. ”
The vileness of a crime though doesn’t mean it occurs often. And considering there are no statistics on it, how do they know ‘it is a growing trend’?
A few years back a hustler called BL King wanted to make some money for himself and started to sensationalize bisexuality in the African American community. To make this a ‘strange new thing’, he gave it a snazzy little street name and called it ‘The Down Low’. Then, without any evidence to support it, he blamed it for high HIV prevalence in among African American women. (They don’t really have a higher prevalence, they just get tested a lot more often than anyone else, thanks to their living in urban areas and large ‘know your status’ type drives in churches.)
What I am saying is that hype generated by activists or unscrupulous (corrupt) scientists should’t be confused with solid statistics.
Reducto #
” Mass castration of boys would be more comparable to FGM. ”
Can women still have sex and have children after ‘FGM’? If so, the…
@Khuaelwa, you should watch the French movie” Repulsion”. This movie deals with the subject matter of rape and abuse. It shows how a victim deals with this problem of sex abuse.
@Reducto, rape and abuse occurred in every country in the world and it is done by every race and color. Harris should stop trying to bring race in every subject posted on this page. There are wachos out there who, like to murder their victims and continue to have sex with them for days. Many of the rape victims are not females but, young boys. The only way to fight sex abuse is the people vulnerable shouldn’t never close their eyes to these crimes. Some safety tips, women should armed themselves, never leave children alone, try to travel in groups, don’t open your door to strangers and never accept rides with strangers.
@MrK: “Can women still have sex and have children after ‘FGM’?”
You ignore what I said after that. I conceded they can still have sex, unlike a castrated male, but it is both devoid of pleasure and painful, so they might as well not. So the castrated male and the FGM woman are both denied ever experiencing sexual pleasure, thus the two comparable.
Koketso.
For what it is worth, your writing touched me deeply. Despite the fact that men think everything is about them and have hijacked the whole debate, I appreciate you bringing it up. With the new Tribal Laws bill in front of us, it is a very relevant subject. We need to keep shouting this out until we get the message through.
FGM is a tribal practice that, in essence, gives a female body its own chastity belt. It also leads to infections, lower infant birth weight, and internal scarring. It has been practiced in Africa for centuries, by animists, polytheists, Jews, Christians and Muslims. None of that makes it right, although it does lead to high infant and maternal deaths and the spread of various diseases.
The rape problem has nothing to do with Africans, per se, except as the outcropping of the need for control in an environment that leaves people with little or no control. 1 in 4 men in South Africa have admitted to raping a woman. That’s an outrageous statistic. A viral video went the rounds in May of this year, of seven men raping a 17-year-old down’s syndrome girl. While the video was eventually reported, it didn’t seem to raise as much furore as one would expect, simply because it is not all that uncommon. Rape has been touted as a cure for lesbianism and HIV, as well.
Ignorance, power, poverty and war make the perfect circumstances for the subjugation of women and children.
Hi Sharon Ellis,
” 1 in 4 men in South Africa have admitted to raping a woman. That’s an outrageous statistic. ”
They have not. It was created to be a ‘staggering statistic’, which Rachel Jewkes of the MRC used to raise funds. That is at least unethical, at worst pandering to the worst kinds of racism in South African society and the world.
I have listed the questionnaire that led to this statistic above, and you can see that it is heavily padded with questions on non-stranger rape. The first questions were:
” 1) How many times have you slept with a woman or girl when she was *too drunk to say whether she wanted it or not*?
” 2) How many times have you and other men had sex with a woman at the same time when she was too drunk to stop you? ”
And you can, like Rachel Jewkes did, argue that it is ‘technically rape’ to have sex with someone who is drunk, but then most children are conceived when both partners had too much to drink. That broad definition of rape would literally turn everyone into a rapist.
And that’s the idea. When a Rachel Jewkes in her Feminist way decides that ‘all men are rapists’, then in her mind, all she has to do is trick them into confessing to it.
And if she lives in South Africa, all she has to claim is that ‘all Black men are rapists’. Do you see how racism aids feminism?
The questionnaire (but not the results) can be found here:
http://www.mrc.ac.za/gender/interfaceofrape&hivsarpt.pdf
Here’s another gem from the report listed above:
” Asked about their age at the first time they had forced a woman or girl into sex, 9.8% said they were *under 10 years old*, 16.4% were 10-14 years old, 46.5% were 15-19 years old, 18.6% were 20-24 years old, 6.9% were 25-29 years and 1.9% were 30 or older. ”
Now, I don’t know whether South Africa unique in being overrun by pre-teen ‘rapists’, but I would say that there is something seriously hinkey about the results.
I don’t know how many 9-year olds (say) can ‘force a woman or girl into sex’, but I doubt it is 9.8% of anything.
MrK
Raping a drunk girl or a drugged girl or a girl who is incapacitated is not ‘technically rape’ – it IS rape.
I shudder to think what you’d think if it was your daughter or sister or mother who had been slipped a mickey. Maybe its okay in your family?
Hi Momma Cyndi,
” I shudder to think what you’d think if it was your daughter or sister or mother who had been slipped a mickey. Maybe its okay in your family? ”
Now you’re conflating like Rachel Jewkes.
The questionnaire didn’t ask whether they drugged any girls. It simply said if they were ‘too drunk’.
People get drugged surreptitiously. People get drunk on their own accord.
MrK
I see. And nobody in your family ever had one too many at a party? If you misjudged your limit (it happens) and got drunk, would it be okay for someone to take advantage of you?
Wearing a kanga or drinking alcohol is not a “YES”. Taking it as a ‘yes’ is rape
If one party was still in sufficient control to know the other party was too drunk to consent and went ahead, then that is quite clearly rape. It isn’t a case of both parties waking up in bed without any recollection of the night before.
Momma Cindy,
” Wearing a kanga or drinking alcohol is not a “YES”. Taking it as a ‘yes’ is rape ”
I’m saying that no one should live in fear of being raped while blind drunk at a party.
Don’t get drunk in public, and that situation will not materialize. Do you have a right to? Yes. Is it a good idea? No.
My point is that at some point, women are responsible for their own actions, just like men, if there is going to be equality. Feminists seem to want to put all the burdon on men. Which I think is very patronizing if not paternalistic to women.
And paternalism is a double edged sword. If women are too ‘immature’ to say yes, by implication they are too immature to say no as well. So who decides whether women can have sex? Their parents? Their husbands? The neighborhood watch committee?
And how does this approach protect men? Now every woman who had something to drink or who changed her mind in the morning can claim ‘rape’?
What Rachel Jewkes tried to do, was expand the definition of rape so broadly that it covers most people. And then claim it is all ‘rape’. So broadly, that she included pre-teens as ‘rapists’.
As I quoted from the report above:
“” Asked about their age at the first time they had forced a woman or girl into sex, 9.8% said they were *under 10 years old*, …”
Under 10 years old means 9 years at most. Are there any 8-year old rapists?
Momma Cyndi was right. Men will hi-jack any discussion and change it to our favourite topic (sex). We need a lot of help from a very young age. Boys learn from their parents and wider family that women expect to be admired / approached / courted / made passes at / given drinks & gifts en route to sexual activities (sometimes you have to get married first). Unfortunately, we also learn that men objectify women, and treat them like possessions. Even more unfortunately, we are taught through marketing and advertising, how to obtain a female possession and embark on sexual journey together (usually involving consumerism). We are left to our own devices, however, when it comes to rejection. The social pressure to be a man with a sex partner, is just incredible. If you’re not in a sexual relationship – or if you don’t have any friends with benefits – you’re not cool. That’s not what I believe, but it’s what’s going on throughout societies. Boys have no role-model for peaceful gender relations. Youngsters these days probably think that Spiderman would rape someone if he was horny and had time between saving lives. Families, schools, communities and especially media companies need to make a cohesive effort to instill sexual gentleness and mutual pleasure as the ideal, not 24/7 access to the nearest female body. Have a wonderful day.
Deeply moved by the voice of this yougn south African. she stand for the many women unheared in this country
People need to stop overreacting!! Just stop the problem at the source. Teach boys that it isn’t okay to assault or harm women in any way. Teach them to respect us first.
The ‘war zones’ aren’t within the women– the war zones are within our culture! Beginning at a very young age, our South African culture teaches people that violence is natural and acceptable. And this is only perpetuated by the media! We need to do something to show people that violence isn’t okay and that women deserve to be treated better. And we need to start by changing certain fundamental assumptions that are so heavily ingrained in our culture.