Sticky, bilious, yellow-green shame gushes from a hole in the ocean a mile down. Oh, Lord, don’t put it on the television. Better that we cannot see it. Our eyes decide what our outrage is based on, not the truth. We’ve made our systems more efficient — less effort, better feelings — we’ve “new and improved” ourselves.
We gather to burn another animal on an open fire and tear it apart with our teeth. “Evil petrol men,” we snarl, “how could they?”
We gather in places that are lit 24 hours a day. There is weeping. Tears spoil lattes. The world is going to end. We passengers, are furious at the man we landed on the TV.
“Shame on you, Mr CEO, you hydro-carbon belching pig, you’ll kill us all with your shameful rooting for gold, and running off to your yacht as we choke … we, recycling, lightly treading ecological ballet dancers, we green saints … you bastard … what about our little children and seagulls? Have you no care? Are you that concerned with profits? Is it all about the bottom-line, Mr Fossilmuncher?” We cry, as we climb into our cars to go the airport for a meeting in another city, as we fly to our holiday home at the coast.
We self-drive resolutely past BP forecourts en-route to burn another brand’s black gold. We don’t want BP to cause any more trouble. We have had quite enough from you, you planet-raping devils. We don’t mind if you torment poor blacks with your digging in Africa, but we are tourists in Mexico from time to time — do you even care about our holidays?
A local businessman must pay for these sins, because he has a BP sign on his shop. Why not make green and gold stars for him and his family to wear? Let’s nail the big BP boss up on a cross — that apparently makes a lot of people feel better. I’m sure he will understand — take one on the chin, and in three days, you’ll walk — give us blood, brother, and we’ll let the oil slip.
Let BP supply the pound of flesh, and all is forgiven. We are all absolved and the burden of decency is lifted off our morally atrophying shoulders. Then we too are free to continue feasting and farting at the trough, snouts filthy but with processed plunder — we can pig out with some sense of dignity and what a relief, I mean we pay taxes, and uphold most of the laws — we are the good guys, we squeal and they take action. Action indeed. When will we back public transport, demand solutions from our bickering menagerie of bosses? Switch to solar? Adopt power-saving lifestyles? Will we walk more, outlaw gas-guzzlers, downsize — disempower the oil cartels? No, we don’t have the energy to love the future that much because we won’t be there. But we will pout digitally, double-clicking our tongues and joining other online moral slobs — we moan loudly from the safety of the ergonomic chair as our species softens and spreads, and we lazily head for higher ground on artificial islands of morality.
We share pictures of birds wearing the filth of those evil oil men and mutter of their dark arrangements to kill us all. We are horrified enough to click “join” — we can’t be bad people, we said that we cared, didn’t we?
We sanitised oil long ago, just like the chicken and the beef, and the pork bangers and now the fish fingers, and the oils we hide in secret places in other food . We took this black goop from the ground and turned it into numbers in spreadsheets, we did this — not some overpaid stuffed-shirt yachtsman — he’s the tip of our dirty iceberg — we’re the bulk he’s afloat on. The least we can do is share the blame.
The fact that we use oil shouldn’t bar us from being repulsed by irresponsible practices. We like and want oil, but not in our oceans killing the seagulls. We are green and indignant, nothing will make us guilty enough to shut us up. BP must just fix the problem, to the best of their ability, and hopefully the damage will be bearable. Use oil sustainably, and look to develop renewable alternatives. Good luck to them, and the seagulls.
Another brilliant, spot-on piece, John!
nay, make the bastard pay, so that I can fly away on holiday.
well written.
What you need here John (again, I might add) is some proper perspective. Fortunately, I’m here to provide it for you (again, I might add).
One. The amount of oil spilled into the gulf, is akin to one tiny, minuscule drop, incapable of being seen with the naked eye, in a bathtub of water full to the brim.
Two. The world’s do-gooder politicians – supported by the likes of yourself – insisted that the oil companies drill further and further away from land in incrementally increasing distances, where the water is far deeper, and the risks of spills and calamities are far higher. Once could almost say that this particular spill was the sole fault of the libby left wingers out there.
Three. You’re evidently not au fait in the practical uses of alternative energy sources, it’s economic practicality (or lack thereof) and it’s limitations. You’re also not familiar with the amount of aluminium required in solar panels, and how much fossil energy is required to produce them.
Four. In order to find new, sustainable clean energy we need both time and money. Something the energy companies have, but petulant, foot-stomping left whingers don’t. Insisting for clean energy today to save the world from oil spills, would have been like insisting that 18th century horse drawn buggy makers start building Segways to save on horse manure….. which coincidentally, the Left are intimately familiar with.
Nice vitriolic rant. It won’t work though. Those who do make the effort are certified, packaged as eccentric if they possess the credentials and means, generalised as crazy if they don’t, and slandered as mean greenies or eco terrorists if they object, in any case untouchables, not the type you take home to mother. Sometimes I know exactly how Galileo felt, fighting against ignorance and the abhorrence of all reality.
Hmmm, some food for thought, I guess we are all to blame for fueling the demand for this black goo, and it isnt the man with the BP franchise to blame. We are prone to looking at situations on a very superficial level, instead of the bigger picture. Regardless of where we fill up our tanks, oil is spilt. So, what to do?
Superb. Might as well all revel in our filth until we finally wipe ourselves out and the planet can breathe a brief sigh of relief until the next species evolves to start the selfish cycle of survival and competition all over again as they are programmed to do. The sun will engulf us all eventually anyway. Might as well live it up like the greedy condemned colonies of collaborative cells we actually all are.
Think I might buy a bigger car.
Amen John Amen!
Nice column, John. I also see some commentators missed the point, entirely. God forbid anyone should write poetically to make a moral point any more; you’ve got to have a SOLUTION and make sure you UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION! Fuck’em – we need some great imagery and a few new myths…
“Holidays” What dat?
What about all the methane from the farting cows and sheep?
Once again the larger issue remains under the carpet: The human population explosion, which = greater demand for all the bad stuff!!
We need culling man!! When we get that into our heads, only then will the war against polution of the planet gain some ground.
A new World-War would be a great start [for now]but how about smaller families guys!!??
Take religion out of the equation and another battle will show signs of being won. Ne?
John, very well written.
My, my John – what a spectacularly well written “hissy fit ” could not have done it better,boy have you thrown your toys !
As for lockstock, Mr.”know it all” you are becoming tedious !
Unfortunately “brand bashing” is needed, and it is not just BP, all oil companies are negligent, as are all unscrupulous buck chasers, it is just that BP has become a “serial offender” have good look at how many times they have been found guilty and fined and we end up paying the bill, as one way or the other they make up the money.
Us “electronic do-good activists” who sign the petitions and write the letters are as necessary as the goo that is pumped from the earth, and I will remain vigilant and add my signature time after time after time…….
I will raise my voice and condemn each and every environmental disaster caused by the greed of man. I will shout and scream at the cruelty visited on innocent animals and I will petition against the needless slaying of Namibian seals… (bastards)
But all of this is meaningless to the masses who live below the poverty line – what does a dead whale, seal, shark, chimp or oil spill matter when you have no food to eat and no shelter during cold winter nights.
What to do, maybe the fines levied should be placed in a fund to alleviate poverty and improve education ?
Maybe we should rather use the adipose from fat people to run the machine. We certainly have enough. That being said, I’m going to hide.
awesome piece.
Bring on those petitions, I will sign….
Bastards !
Each and every money grabbing, corrupt politician, person and corporation – beware the lefties are here ! Having a spectacular TT (Temper Tantrum)
We know all about “proper perspective” if you are a mean, Libby, lefty activist !
Okay now I feel better, have a great day !
Exactly! It’s collectively our fault and if this hadn’t happened to BP it would soon happen to another oil company. And more may happen to other oil companies. Sooner or later we will all have to make choices. The brands are not the issue. With all the movement going on under the eath’s crust, it’s obviously unstable right now; I wonder we dare to drill holes in it at all.
And as far as South Africans are concerned: don’t the power and water crises tell you at least something? Just because Eskom can’t see further than the coal at the end of its nose and the Dept of Water Affairs thinks subsidising pumping in mines for ever is a feasible treatment for AMD, doesn’t make them logical cures…
John,
You are accusing us all – we, who would gladly nail BP to the cross to atone for our ecological sins….. so we can carry on. And on….
@lockstock – You must be given credit for consistency. Again, spoken like an asset to the right – generally, summarily and fairly devoid of humanity. I suppose us Lefties pushed you off-shore as well?
Slightly off topic – does anyone actually know what happens to all those email petitions? I get them every day and often wonder if some poor bastard out there eventually gets an email with 100 million names on it.
@shaun
You just keep on signing Shaun, then go to: successstories@earth.care2.com – we really do make a difference ! Just imagine what would happen if we said nothing…….
Just imagine where we would be if the activist and youth did not raise their voices and Nelson Mandela was still in prison.
Just imagine if you were lockstock !
@lockstock
Oh lockstock I forgot to mention that I am also gay (like lesbian gay) so you can now call me a meanie, greenie, lefty, libby, uneducated, mule stubborn, blind, slightly over weight, proudly “white” South African gay person !
Anything that makes you happy dear heart, we want you to be happy and content in Perth – God forbid you should want to come back……
Bang on John. The protesting and rationalising and opposition that your piece meets with is the expected response of people so enslaved by their culture that they can’t accept the truth when it is presented naked before their eyes. More like this please.
brilliant
Well well well. It appears the gulf ‘disaster’ has been nothing of the sort! After thousands of man and boat hours, they can hardly find enough oil to fill up an average underpowered Hyundai hybrid. Lockstock’s perspective was spot on.
But in answer to a few comments above, I am pretty proud to hug the correct, right line, as there is nothing quite as destructive as over-and-easily alarmed Leftists. Rachel Carson springs silently and idly to mind. A few decades on, and the body bag count in Africa totals near 100 million and still counting, thanks to her over-active imagination, left wing feel-goodyness and a horde of impressionable followers/idiots.
And let’s not even touch on the wars the Left wing have successfully waged in the last century. Mao, Stalin, Adolf (yes, Hitler), Pol, Che and a host of other extremists were once docile lapdog libbies of the first order, before they started to radicalise their pathetic school-boy politics.
So, you lot can hug as many trees, flowers, dams and dykes as you want, but just remember that your nice clean, prissy thoughts and ideals, are hugely destructive and are no replacement for hard knuckle logic. It’s evident to me that your collective ‘It-takes-a-village’ decisions are based on tossing pragmatism to the wind, in favour of that cozy, tear-induced warm fuzzies you all prefer.
To paraphrase: Hell hath no fury than a feel-good libbie reduced to girlie tears.
@lockstock – I wouldn’t count my khaki chickens just yet, your writing off the oil spill may be premature. If you’ve been reading both sides of the story, you’ll see that while on the surface, the Gulf waters seem remarkably resilient, we lack the experience to know what the deeper impact will be. You don’t strike me as a sucker for spin, although my judgement is reserved.
@lockstock
You like most “conservatives’ for want of a better label, you are intent to label anyone who cares for the planet – whatever current petty label you want to use to put down those who would oppose the linear and exponential path of our own destruction we are currently treading. Not everything boils down to left and right or black and white.
What IS clear is that the gulf oil spill has severely impacted on the ocean life in that area and any claim that it has a minuscule drop that doesn’t matter is the worst kind of anti-logic.
The spill continues and will continue to have devastating effects for the marine ecosystems of the area. To believe ‘liberals’ are to blame for offshore drilling is laughable.
This is the legacy of a world population thirsting for money – a system of beliefs and a way of life gone horribly wrong.Everything is profit driven and that is the world we live in and people like you are the ones that allow the system to keep driving us towards annihilation.
I don’t pretend to be a saint, or even someone with all the answers, but the fact remains that the way we treat the planet at the moment will lead to the end of our time on it.
The planet will survive, recover, regenerate, we who are simply a blink of time in evolution’s history – will simply not be there to enjoy it.
Will this be our legacy ?
Turtles & Teamsters & Black Flag Flyers Foreva!
Take it out lockstock – its gonna pierce your caecum if you’re not careful!
@Suburban Terrorist
You have my vote !!!!!!!!!