Subsequent to my blog “I want three wives!” I discovered a book titled Forty years among the Zulus. It was written in 1891 by Rev Josiah Tyler, a missionary in Natal.
Here are his observations regarding polygamy at that time:
- “Polygamy presents a gigantic obstacle to the elevation of the Zulus. It has been well called their ‘idol and their curse’. All that a Zulu man hath will he give for wives, and the number he possesses is limited only by the number of cows he has with which to but them … ‘A man’s wives make the house great’ is a common Zulu saying. With only one wife a man is considered poor. ‘If I have but one wife, who will cook for me when she is ill?’ is a question often asked by the wife-loving Zulu when arguing in support of his darling custom. In Natal for some years the market price for a strong, healthy girl of fifteen ranged from fifteen to twenty cows, but of late ten have been considered the standard price.
None but those who have witnessed the working of polygamy in South Africa can adequately conceive the degradation and misery it involves and the strong counteracting influence it presents to philanthropic labour. Both heart and mind are brutalised by it. Should the wife be sick and unable to perform her daily task she is liable to hear from her husband the question: ‘Why do you not work and get back the cattle I have paid for you?’ If childless, she can be returned to her home as ‘an unprofitable thing’. If not fully paid for, her children can be taken as mortgage till the number of cattle agreed upon is received. Not only is this custom idolised by the men but, strange though it may appear, the poor degraded women who are the chief sufferers argue in favour of it … Rarely do wives object to a husband adding to the number of helpmeets, for they say ‘Now are our burdens lightened’. They seemingly ignore the fact that jealousies, bickerings and quarrels are sure to arise.”
I am left with more questions than answers. Has the husband’s attitude changed towards his wives in present-day customary marriages? More respect, perhaps? What are the present-day perks in the arrangement for wife number one, two, three, four and five? How are conflicts resolved among the entity? And with numerous children, are weekly meetings held to discuss dad’s diary? (whose soccer match will he attend this week?) Finally, it seems that with customary marriages in South Africa, the number of wives the husband is allowed to marry is only limited to his resources. Do the wives get to discuss how many they agree to at the beginning of the marriage? Any customary wives out there got the answers?
Sorry, not allowed and wouldn’t dare.
Polygamy is like the loin cloth. Sooo last year.
It also creates a plethora of angry, frustrated young men with nobody to shag. The Zulu used to send them off to battle and whittle down their numbers with clubbings and impalings. Since that too was part of their culture but was stopped for the outdated barbaric crap that it is, I see no reason for polygamy not to follow suit. The selective “its my culture excuse” is becoming as commonplace and abused as the ‘racism’ excuse.
Any guy that wants five wives, besides being a sucker for punishment and probably a totalitarian dictator in the household who believes that women have no rights, must be insecure to the degree that he feels only a bunch of women bowing and scraping to him make him a man. What a sad, silly, scared little fellow living in the past century we have as a president.
I would like to know what the local.. Xhosa / Zulu wives think about the imported Mozambicans and I wonder if there are more ‘internationals’… and how does international inhlawulo work?
What is the exchange rate for 2 cows and a goat?
And in Zimbabwe?
@ Grant,
I grant that you are correct, however it behoves some to rut.
Their are many people that still practice polygamy. All muslims are allowed 4 wives, sometimes more. What of arranged marriages? Mormons?
What I find strange is that the concept of love and affection seem not to feature. It’s all about power, wealth protection and mating for heirs.
Being with a soul mate is just so much better.
@ grant I think polygamy is so outdated too thats why I would not have 2(or more) wives.Obviously there are people who beleive its now retro- fashionable. so let them practice it. freedo is it not.
Me I am like Tiger woods(and john terry and beckam and john edwards-bill clinton- you get my drift) dont believe in polygamy as too expensive but will stray from time.
Zuma has probably done more for Zulu women and womens’ rights by making a mockery of polygamy than any of his wife wielding ancestry….even if by accident! The first chance a Zulu gets to be president and he makes a spectacle of it….typical.
Grant – “Any guy that wants five wives, besides being a SUCKER for punishment” woof! Just love the Freudian slip! Let double entendres thrive…
I have to get that book…
jenny
for an enlightened christian view on polygamy, you should look at Bishop Colenso’s celebrated plead to accept polygamist in church… rather than dig up prejudiced missionaries who could not think there was a way of life other than theirs. Down with cultural and other colonsation!
hi – your quotation of the opinions of a missionary are rather a ridiculous source. Apart from being irrelevant to your argument if your argument is establishing an understanding of how women feel in polygamous marriages- it is just ridiculous coming from a man, and a missionary man!- missionaries have degraded and ridiculed the indigenous practices of ppl wherever they went in their attempts to ruthlesssly push down their versions of religion under the guise of philanthropy. missionaries in south africa- and ofcourse not all- worked systematically with colonising forces to destroy the fabric of african community and family life- just like they did wherever they went.
I cannot believe that in this day and age you choose a ridiculous source like this in support of your argument. this quotation is based on blind lack of respect of other cultures and a typically arrogant colonial view of seeing the natives as children who need to be saved.
your argument is not the subject of my comment, however i do feel that the combination of migrant labour practices and the kind of single family unit as promoted by christain churches, most certainly has been a blight on african community and family life, in a much more pronounced way than polygamy.
Of course if the costs of wives and childen are paid for by the taxpayers then the sky is the limit. What a boon if the goverment would pay for every wife for every citizen. If Zuma can do this for us I will vote for him.
Jenny, you make a good point about the advantages of more women in a household sharing chores and production tasks. Any authentic historian will tell you that that was standard practice in many evolving communities globally. This was accompanied by having more children that would survive diseases and grow into adulthood to serve both their household and their nation. Nothing new in that…
For someone who has written books, and has some objective analytical rigour of some sort, your reliance on a 19th century colonial missionary for reference about Zulu custom or traditions is unfortunate. You certainly must know the reasons behind the missionary campaigns… It was not just to spread the good word of the good Lord. Soften the natives, make everything about them look as bad as ever to steal and plunder. See and write no good about them. Tell the Queen that they are savages. Go watch the movie Avatar. Its stil happening today.
Polygamy! Your first line in the piece from the missionary just says it all… What ELEVATION do we need as Zulus? From what low level to what higher levels?
I would not practice polygamy myself as a matter of choice, but I would not stand in judgement of those that practice it, and call them names. Its the choice made by the woman, and the man. Our women are liberated, and can say No Thanks. They do.
The many judges should ask themselves why Loli Jackson and Teazers and brothels worldwide are flourishing. Patrons?
Polygamy is a form of slavery with a fancy name drssed up as cultural tradition.
I paid nothing for my woman except the ring and the wedding party and even that we shared between us from cash saved up in a joint account. We were not going to be sidetracked from our love for each other by unpaid accounts.
And look at me now. I clean the house and cook the meals and drive the car. Oh, yes, if a bulb goes I also make (the) light work (again).
Did you read who wrote the nonsense which you have based your need of understanding on: Oh the great missionaries, what “wonderful” people they were so “insightful and understanding of all local customs and culture”.
If you want to know the true feelings of people around polygamy, please ask the practitioners of polygamy and remember this none of the participants are forced to enter this arrangement.
You have the same attitude as that particulary missionary, debating what you haven’t taken the time to understand
I know many ‘successful’ Zimbabweans who are ‘rumoured’ to have more than one wife – mostly ZANU-PF cronies, anyway. But there is a price to pay. A man can only HAVE one wife at any single time. My problem – if Zuma has four wives [and several sononos], at any one time, who is ‘entertaining’ the other four? Gosh!This is sordid. I’m too posessive to have more than one wife. I’d rather be with her ALL the time .. I think.
@michel lafon makes a lot of sense.
This article by Jenny and the book se quoted can only save to prove what most of us black Africans have always argued – that with the Bible in front and guns behind, the whites force fed us their own version of ‘civilisation’, and in the process completely destryoyed the African’s soul.
As a result, everything ‘African’ is always refered to in relation to the forced civilisation.
Funny, with all the education that was brought by people like the missionary quoted here did nothing to stop the same black women from practising what is purpotedly degrading to them – why? I can assure you that most of the women in JZ’s fold were not ‘forced’, but willingly fell for him.
Ironically, most of the bloggers in these pages always like to preach about democracy and the right to self determinantion – last time i checked, Policgamy was not Rape, abduction or any violation of individual rights, and as mentioned earlier, the women involved are consenting adults who HAVE A RIGHT TO SELF DETERMINATION by the way.
So maybe all you hypocrits should perhaps focus on your own relationships because clearly given the number of prostitutes on our streets, most ‘married’ men are living undeclared polygamous lives.
In the midst of all these biast opinions, including those of Rev Josiah Tyler, I would like to thank you Ella for setting the record straight.
Miss Goodrick, your article as well your source, Rev Josiah Tyler, a missionary nogal, reduces our culture to a mere joke! It is not suprising that you would use a missionary’s views to support your argument. After all, you and Rev Josiah Tyler do not share the same culture as the Zulu’s or any other African cultures, and so you do not live within the context of the African practices.
How than can you be expected to understand that lobola is not about human trade? The lobala that which Rev Josiah Tyler and many other poorly informed people describe is that which your ancestors did to our people, in the name of the goodness of the Christian being. What was the duty of the missionary on Africa? To understand our culture or to “better” our culture? Or perhaps to repair the scars of slavery?
Under which context and whose perspective did Rev Josiah Tyler base his observations regarding polygamy at that time?
Suggestion: how about you also include the Meta-narratives of history in future, in order to understand our culture. On the contrary, we should also admit that we could never fully understand each other’s cultures. However, it is important that we respect our differences. It is not fair to us that you use a colonialistic view to reduce our culture!
Haau Jenny! Did you really have to read a missionary’s work to understand the culture of those he obviously despised?
That’s condencending, I’m afraid.
The British Foreign & Commonwealth Office recently made public the dispacthes of the Queen’s ambassadors after their stints abroad. Sir Anthony Rumbold said this about the Thais after he left: Thais have no litarature, no paiting and only an odd kind of music”.
I expect you to do more research on polygamy within Zulu and other cultures of the world before taking the biased writings of a missionary as the truth.
@Sandisa
It is good that you defend your culture, but you do so from the back foot. In you case attack is the best form of defence, which is very telling.
Your culture has much to be criticised – accept that. Western culture has much to be criticised too.
You make the mistake by dealing in and accusing Jenny of ‘colonialist view point’. She is of Western culture, – colonialism of the past having nothing to do with anything and is invalid. the prevailing world view is valid, and one in which your culture should be merging, rather than opposing.
You can choose to hold your people and culture back, or you can step forward bravely into the world that matters.
Didn’t some of these “nasty” missionaries put an end to the slave trade? What made what they offered attractive to their converts in the first place. And why do generations of converts not “see the light” and dump these evil, Western, colonial ways but rather fill churches, become priests, become bishops? Let’s hear about what a paradise Africa would have turned into, in the modern world, without these “scoundrels”, remembering that someone from somewhere would always have been and always will be interested in the raw materials.
@Sandisa, DeltaM
On Rod McKenzie’s blog I wrote about the fact that polygamy will of necessity produce a surplus of males with no access to women. Do you think it is fair that a few powerful men effectively monopolize the marriage market? Are the men so excluded happy with this state of affairs?
@ella
One would think that polygamy rather facilitates migrant labour, producing as it does a surplus of men with no prospect of marrying within their tribes and with every motivation to strike out for the wider world. If monogamy were the norm, the phenomenon of migrant labour might well never have taken place. Or are you proposing it is the married men who wet off to go and slog in the mines, leaving the unmarried ones to look after their wives?
“A Missionary?” “In 1891″? WOW.
Haau all of you who crit JG for using a missionary text. Anyone who has studied history will know that colonialism has disrupted and warped the practice of various cultures. Looking back to the comments of missionaries who were in touch with a ‘more pure’ version of the culture is a valid historical/anthropological practice, so long as you don’t take it on wholesale – and it doesn’t read to me as though JG does.
And yes, Al – it’s as wrong to condemn missionaries outright, en bloc, as it is to accept what they say without provisos. It was missionaries in part who fought to end the slave trade; and what the hell was Huddleston – an evil man who pushed his nasty creed on people, or the angel who gave Hugh Masekela and Jonas Gwangwa wings to fly?
Please can we stop with the ‘them’ and ‘us’.
Firstly, yes it is within my right to protect my culture! Wouldn’t you?
Secondly, I am not at all conderming the president’s embarresing acts of infidelity. I am mainly setting the record straight about what Isithembu (polygamy) really means in our culture. Who better person to inform you than an actual Zulu or Xhosa person?
It would be impossible for anyone who does not understand it to accapt this tradition. Women in African polygamous marriges are respected and they have the right not to allow for a second or third wife to enter into the family. They themselves are not forced to marry a man with wives! The first wife is very much respected by the other wives and vice versa.
Thirdly,Panchetta and to everyone else, my point is that do not be qiuck to discriminate a culture if you do not understand it. You are not obliged to accept it, it is not your own and your children do not have to follow it!
Lastly, Panchetta, I respect your comment and everyone else’s. I chose to draw back from the past not to be in the “back foot” as you put it. But to show that our cultures, not just the African cultures, have been misunderstood from the colonial times. It in everyone’s right to critice but please do it intelligently and with respect. Why should we surpress our culture to suit the needs of globalisation?
Sorry, I mean I am conderming this act of infidellity as it places the other wives at risk!
Nobody can ‘justify’ having multiple wives. It will never be a need, just a want. And a selfish want if other men are to be considered because it puts remaining bachelors at a disadvantage.
I just have to question this ‘western’ ‘african’ ‘eastern’ approach to things…
isn’t it the 21st century? aren’t human rights defined?
Or is it people only continentalise or split the world into a handy slice, when you want to squirm out of a question or, more often try to explain something you simply don’t understand or dare look down upon.
smacks of dogma. and some simplistic version of life… devoid of reality
Sandisa
Polygamy is not the benchmark of your culture. There is sufficient meat in your culture that is not at odds with the predominant world view, that keeps your culture alive and very relevant. Africans of various African cultures are not asked to suppress their culture, but to adjust it. All cultures have done this as an on-going evolution towards a global village culture, for massive self benefit.
Polygamy is just a step away from being legislated as against the law. Do you honestly think that it will survive your lifetime, considering that you may live another fifty years? I can promise you the answer is no.
And if that is the case, then why fight a losing battle. Turn the tide.
Missionaries. The Moffat family of Kuruman. Donald Frazer. The Moravian church. Do a spot of research before condemning the value added to Africa by the missionaries. Sol Plaaitjie, John Dube, Albert Luthuli, Nelson Mandela, many more were educated by missionaries.
The missionaries brought literacy, science, healthcare, and advancement to Africa. Imparting knowledge was their primary motive.
.. then again, perhaps those who hate the missionaries believe that knowledge and literacy have added no value to Africa.
@ Sandisa
I think I’ll take you up on that offer to inform me about Zulu or Xhosa culture.
Im very curious. What would a typical Nguni man consider a good wife to be? The missionary suggests a fertile servant, someone to make babies and cook food. I take it from, from your setting the record straight, that this is incorrect.
So if you could give me a better idea what an Nguni man would cosider to be ideal virtues in his wives it would be much appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Tyler was part of the American Zulu Mission. They were the first Christian missionaries in Natal and they landed in 1835. The AZM was founded in Boston in 1810 and was a non-denominational foreign mission society.
I don’t mind admitting that in my lineage, women were “abused” by not having the same rights as their men. Even now,my friend who is a teacher is furious that at 60 she’s forced to give up certain pay perks at work whereas the men keep their privileges. The women are planning a rebellion! Somehow, women stick up for each other and fight for the betterment of all.
Women love weddings. And every magazine has something about marriage – how to improve your marriage, how to deal with juggling the kids, how to survive and get to celebrate your 50th wedding anniversay etc. So it’s natural that we’re really curious about something that is/isn’t in the public domain-polygamous marriage and the wives involved. Would it be out of line to have an article perhaps explaining all in Bona, Women and Home and Your Family? (M$G is mainly a male forum!) Female public want to know more – the reality of the dynamics involved. It would be informative and the fact that we’re interested doesn’t mean that we’re judging. It means that we can have informed opinions. Anyone with facts for this forum,perhaps? : )
It seems as if it doesnt take us anywhere trying to justify what our cultures entails from afrocentric point of view to highlight these to europians who donot have cultures or anything they hold on as cultures than bussiness.
From afrocentric point of understanding ,marriage is a foundation of a family and lobola is paid to a girls family, to affirm man intention, exclude abuse and to emphasize that a man values the relationship,girls family and girl’s family in turn follows a girls hinds sight to witness a relationship for a new family formation.
Afterwards there is no divorce ,whatever circumstances would be handled by two families torwards peaceful settlements.
There is big opposite on the eurocetric sphere, marriage is like a business between the two couples, who chooses whether to involve family or not ,often involves courts and is shaped around the man’s fortunes, divorce is a first and common option, one woman can get married twenty times, which is not a case with africans.
The word abuse is often used within the eurocentric sphere but , there is no clear process followed i.e.family based with a family value than selfenrishment to settle the family rows and secure the future of the children from the family, that deserve the dignity and heritage of their patriachial line within a marriage.
Everything is often rushed to meet the finance and bussiness target, family which a priority is not considered.
So there is an ocean difference between this 2.
The other important point not highlighted by the anti polygamist preachers is that of plurarity produced by polygamy,own nation , own majority, own labour, own force ,which has always been a threat to the world.
If you look at polygamy from this point of view ,you will definately have a diffirrent article to share with the reades.
Zulus never looked behind their borders to get solders to defend their territory against the foreigners, they always give a command to their own forces who were powerful because of the very same factor,is your people ,with your culture, without any language barrier or cultural difficulty, it has always been working as a marchine, no foreing inlfuence.
No space limit, even today if our people can agree with me on this issue ,within no time limit , we will definately regain our territorty from any influx.
I admirer a man who stands up for his beliefs.
It’s ludicrous and sheer grandstanding to talk down polygamy, only because you do not want it.
Live and let live. freedom to choose means exactly that.
we were all born out of a very perfect polygamous system, and we are proud of it.
Divorce Court are full of monogamous marriages crumbling down. Maybe, just maybe polygamy is an answer to us, Muslims and other nations of the world
WHO SAID WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN IS PERFECT?
Research is proving what we knew all along, however, since Polygamy and circumcision was practiced by blacks, Muslims, Jews and other nations who did not colonize Africa.
These nations are treated as second class citizens in South Africa. They are vilified and bullied to conform to weird western practices that undermine our indigenous way of life.
Liberals hide the truth and facts that:
-Woman in Polygamous marriages are happier and live longer.
-Circumcision prevents HIV/AIDS spread by more 60%
The pronunciation of the current president on these matters was reduced to a joke.
Liberal what us to believe only in what they tell us. TO FOLLOW THEM AS PSYCHOLOGICAL SLAVES.
We say No.
VIVA POLYGAMY. VIVA FREEDOM FOR ALL PEOPLES