Some problems are universal. And they follow you, even when you change continent. Take bladders, for instance.
“All shoppers please note that due to a burst pipe all toilets in the complex are now closed,” echoed over the intercom in the large shopping mall this morning.
Instant panic.
I had planned my route meticulously and now a burst pipe had me stricken. No coffee or juice break between Saturday shopping. I managed a slow and controlled “knyp” and amble, but passing the loos was too much to bear. I followed the woman ahead of me. She developed into a trot and then hurdled over the large “Do not enter — toilets out of order” sign. My bulging bladder followed. A quick door slam, then instant relief. I noticed sounds from all the other cubicles … could more Ozzie women have ignored the STOP sign? A loud voice on a walkie talkie boomed:”Ladies, are you flushing?” (part of management and completing an on-the-spot report). As one man, we shouted “Yes!” and by some miracle, the toilets flushed and all was back to normal. Sheepishly, we washed our hands and shared plumbing problems. “Wonderful, the taps are also flowing now!”
Its good to know that Australian females mostly suffer as I do. Perhaps female bladder problems are universal. One thing’s for sure — no signs will stop us. There’s nothing quite like our aching bladders!
And the award for the most pointless column goes to…
my comment has nothing to do with the topic:
i just wanna say i liked the way yo’ve written your post it’s concise, clear cut and cool…keep it up
Whenever I go anywhere. the first thing I do is establish the whereabouts of the loos. Very important strategic decision.
And the Sour Lemon award goes to…Eugene.
Anyone who’s ever desperately needed the loo knows that NOTHING is more important than that when you just cannot knyp any more. I was in just such a situation recently, while waiting for a lift. I couldn’t take it any more and dashed into the nearest office block and begged the security guards to let me use the loo. They were so sweet really. Though, come to think of it, they were probably afraid I’d pee on their floor.