There is something that each one of us has in common. Underneath all of our clothes, we are naked.
Yes it’s true — even in winter, beneath the layers of clothes, scarves, gloves and thick socks, there is a live naked person waiting to get out. If you don’t believe me, visit your local gym to suss out the situation. Please don’t think I spend hours hanging out in the change-rooms scoping out the ladies. In fact, I’m an aerobics instructor and tend to spend a lot of my evenings in the gym, and inevitably some of those evenings in the changeroom. What’s interesting to me is how women feel about what’s under our clothes, and why we feel that way. I’m not sure what’s happening in the men’s room, but in the ladies rooms at the gym where I instruct there are definitely patterns of nudity which emerge.
The first pattern is that older women are generally comfortable being naked. The ladies above 60 in the gym fling off their costumes, leotards and tracksuit pants without too much concern for who is around them. They will take their time moving between the lockers and the showers and even stop to talk to friends, or instructors along the way. They move as though they are not naked, and none of them look self conscious at all when moisturising their bums, toes, or faces.
The second pattern, and feel free to correct me (as of course, that is what many of you come to read blogs to do), is that young black women are more comfortable being naked than young white women are. Many more young black women stand and talk to one another completely naked than young white women. White young women, myself included, wrap their towels around themselves, often taking off their bras and underwear from beneath their towels in order not to flash a breast or glimpse of pubic hair at anyone. Young white women, with a few exceptions, appear afraid of their bodies — as though at any moment they will explode from their towels throwing breasts out and revealing their pubic grooming habits. This does not appear to be the case for black women, who moisturise at leisure, talk to one another and seem unashamed of their bodies.
Finally, the middle-age category of women are quite mysterious. Some are unabashedly naked — talking to one another, blow drying their hair and even watching the televisions starkers. Others are somewhere in between the white young women and their elderly counterparts. Not quite brazen enough to strip off fully, but they don’t seem to mind drying off and removing bras and underwear without the protective shield of a towel.
So what’s going on here? How do we come to feel a particular way about our nudity? Is it that some people feel unembarrassed, or that others feel that nudity is a private thing? Where do these beliefs come from? The space of the female locker room should be a safe one. We are all women, and like I said before, we are all naked under our clothes. Is there any reason for us to be self-conscious, or self-congratulatory? Is this a space where women compare themselves, standing on the scales of feminine success and hoping that the number we see is pleasing?
Personally, I’m in there with the young white women who walk around in a towel as much as possible. I think my feelings about my own nudity were heavily shaped by my experiences at boarding school (where group nudity was discouraged), my position as an instructor (I don’t really want people imagining my boobs while I’m trying to get them to squat) and my feeling about my body at the time. Some days I try to force myself to be naked in the change rooms, hoping that I will feel some sort of self-congratulatory pride in myself. Some days, I change in the toilet stalls because I can’t imagine being naked in a group.
This morning in the shower I made a decision. I will be naked in the changeroom. I will relax in my own body and will not worry who’s looking at my breasts, bum or stretch marks. I will not hide away behind a towel. After all, life’s too short, and it’s hard to dry yourself properly when you’re scared to let your boobs pop out.
Well done Jen! Hope this enables more prissies to drop the ir towels and ‘come out’. The human body is a normal thing – it’s the mind that plays the cover-up game. Now that wasn’t so bad was it? Nobody went eek, nobody stopped and stared – in fact, nobody gives a toss! In fact, I think you look stunning.
Jen, you make me laugh..haha..
Whether man or woman, our awareness of bodily integrity is the hallmark of civilization and sets us apart from ordinary animals.
I think, my feeling about public nudity come from two sources, firstly a fairly confusing mix of Afrikaans prudishness and English modesty ( although the English are far from shy in their own country?) and those charming nun’s where I went to school (your body is the enemy…) But admittedly I was the towel hugging kid in the corner long before puberty hit!
I used to gym at VA opposite Southgate Mall and it was never an issue to walk around naked, we would sit and have conversations about anything and everything and not once did somebody say “Look, she is naked”. Its the gym and I really couldnt be bothered to wrap myself in a towel what for? I chilled in the steam room with nothing on. Never have I been so free. Of course the only mandatory thing would be a facecloth to sit on in the Steam Room and flip flops in the shower.Human bodies in all shapes and sizes are a beautiful thing
There is weird programming that affects the majority of human beings when it comes to nakedness. The naturist movement is very healthy and liberating – in these environments we overcome societal distortions associated with body image and our unnatural obsession with genitalia and the act of mammalian procreation.
Interesting, but would your attitude also not be influenced by the fact that YOU are the instructor and not quite “one of them” in that context? It’s hard to imagine a teacher or leader in any group going starker with his/her charges. You probably would be more relaxed in a change room full of other instructors, your peers, not so?
As a young black woman, when I first went to boarding school at age 11 (in 1996), I used to walk out of the shower with my towel around my waist. I was told numerous times to cover up. I eventually did. I always found it odd that my dorm mates would hide behind their locker doors when changing. But as they say…when it rome…so I did. After boarding school, I thankfully reverted back to my old ways. Quite frankly it’s less effort to change without covering yourself. At the gym, I have also found that young black women will walk around naked unfazed. I do too….with the odd looks here and there. But I don’t mind it. In my view the ones who cover themselves end up looking like idiots. We’re not even sizing up your body or comparing it to ours. You’re naked, so what? Who cares?
From first doing the shower thing in school to sauna in Finland in my late teens, naked has been best and completely OK. The sauna was even mixed! Now I find it entirely odd that people are not happy in their skins and are embarrassed by others who are.
Nice post – I have often wondered the same thing.
Men aren’t quite the same way when it comes to nudity. The majority have no issues when it comes to their naked appearance in front of other men in the change-room or in the showers after sport in my experience.
Heck after a few beers we men generally cant wait to take our kit off.
While living abroad, I did find that European females were far more at ease with their nakedness than South African women, generally speaking.
Hmmm
Not so sure that I fully agree with Banana regarding men.
Some may like to walk around the change room naked, but many – like me – will be naked only for those few seconds between removing the towel and putting on your clothes.
Similarly, at men’s urinal’s, there is a clearly understood (silent, unwritten) protocol that you stare dead ahead, and do not look at any part of the person next to you. Even when talking to a mate in the next stall at a rugby match, you will do so looking pretty much straight ahead!
My wife wonders if the above behaviour does not indicate some sort of subliminal homophobia!
Oh, and never use your cellphone when on the loo – especially when no 2 is involved!
Jennifer I simply dont believe you. I want to come and see for myself!
Peter L, thats the truth. We guys are pritty uncomfortable towards other guys maybe due to homophobia but also that we are in different shapes and sizes so you want no one to judge you by that. But I dont think theres any guy who would mind walking around naked in a room full of girls.
This excessive modesty must have something to do with the racially mixed nature of our society. American women are similarly modest whereas in Switzerland I saw nobody batting an eyelid at a group of completely naked chicks playing beach volleyball.
@Peter L
Most guys I see in the gym change room or in the showers after a game are pretty relaxed with their naked forms, in my experience. The author has brought up some interesting points about female behaviour – personally, I just don’t think that guys stress about being naked in front of each other all that much…There are always exceptions.
Your point about homophobia is interesting – I think the key when you are naked with other blokes is keep your eyes level….ha ha
Your point about the urinal is a no brainer…why would you want to look at another man relieving himself?
I was one of those girls who changed in the toilet cubicle and I still am. I’m incredibly uncomfortable with nudity, at least with other women.
I must say I feel rather uncomfortable with the nakedness in the gym locker room, but at the same time feel like a real spazz trying to get dressed while attempting to keep up my towel.
Surely there’s a line though. The other day I walked into the loo area (separate from the changing shower area) and to my horror, I witnessed a woman (clearly not like the shy White kind mentioned above) bent over at the hips, bum in the air attempting to dry her hair under the hand dryer!!!! Seriously?!
Spazz! I love that word! People don’t use it nearly often enough. I am a spazz and proud of it.
Yeah white girls are generally more shy about their bodies (not all of course). Its part of that whole culture that also says DONT BREAST FEED IN PUBLIC.
If your mama isn’t allowed to whip out her boob to feed a baby in public it just makes for a very body conscious culture.
It’s all Bikini Wax and Armpit shave culture and wear a bra culture – so anti-natural!
Also, people who didn’t grow up with privacy due to having to share sleeping and ablutions are less concerned. I grew up bathing outside till like age 12. Women washed in same room and peed in the bucket in the room at night.
Menstruation, and any other stuff well, it just had no place for privacy. At 24 I had to bath in the river for my maidenhood ceremony – right next to paths and main road!
Look, if you can take your clothes off in front of a lover and open your legs wide in all directions for his pleasure; you can be naked in front of the girls. We may look, but only to compare if you look like us, not to judge.
Like how long are your labia minora girl, how dark are your areola, how does your lover get his tongue around those tiny nipples of yours! That’s all we want to ask you. It’s how we learn that we’re actually ok no matter what we look like naked.
@Banana very true, we guys do not have as much of an issue, unless of course a guy feels he is particularly “challenged” down there!
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Wow, I gotta say that I’m shocked that you think that black girls are more comfortable being naked in locker rooms than white girls. I’m a black woman, and I’ve always thought that it’s the exact opposite, that white girls are way more comfortable walking around naked in the locker room. At my gym the white girls walk around naked way more than us black girls. I actually envy the white girls that don’t care who sees them naked. I think they must feel much more liberated to be able to be naked without shame. At my gym us black girls are way more prude than white girls and Latin girls and Asian girls. It was the same in the high school girls locker room, the white and Latin girls were much free with their nude bodies. I wish I could be more like that!