Are there no black people in old-age homes? I’m just checking, because many a response to a blog about culture by a white writer receives a response about how culturally unacceptable putting old people into homes is. This idea has appeared as a response to many of the blogs I’ve written in critique of Zulu culture, and recently has appeared in one of the comments in response to this blog by Michael Baillie. In response to the blog the vitriolic Tumi M says:
“You say lets not use culture to justify anything, but even you use culture to justify your actions – In your culture you send the old people to old-age home to die there,becuz u cant b bothered 2look afta them (not u specificly – ur culture..) Inconceivable in my culture”
In response to an old blog of mine critiquing Zulu culture, Victor labels this behaviour as evil:
“i could not agree with you more sipho. I also feel that the white people who send their old parents to old age homes should be brought to book, its unhumane, cruel and just plain evil. But who am i to point fingures @ other cultures.”
and Noholoza says:
“Did you know that in African indigenous cultures it is taboo to take your parents to a nursing home?? “
Is it a white cultural thing to have elderly people in old-age homes? I don’t know. But what I do know is that the path of logic followed by the people making this criticism is flawed.
There seems to be a misguided belief out there that because some old white folks are in homes, white people have no sense of culture and thus are unable to critique the culture of others. This is not the case. In the same way that any Zulu person is welcome to write a blog about their belief that old-age homes are inhumane and evil, a white English speaking South African is totally entitled to critiquing another culture whether it is Zulu, Afrikaans or French.
Cultural difference doesn’t prevent cultural critique, in fact, it should inspire it. It should be a way that we work together to learn more about another culture and are confronted by our own preconceptions and misconceptions.
In simple English — just because something is wrong with my culture, doesn’t mean that what’s wrong with yours is outside of critique. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Right?
that’s funny; there are in fact black people in the old age homes that litter my neighborhood. that said, upon enquiry, i found out that many of the black residents of said old age homes worked in them when they were younger.
[which would make sense, because my neighborhood is hidden in plain sight; knowing how to find these old age homes if you don't live in the municipality would present a problem.]
that said, wasn’t there a cutting edge or similar show about elder abuse? and if these people watched hola hamonate, they would have seen *gasp* black people in old age homes. [that said, if you are watching hola hamonate then you are either unemployed or work from home, so they can be forgiven for not having seen it.]
i’m personally indifferent if my mother would go to a home. [see, she chucked me out on the street when i was 16, so...] however, my father is insistent that he not go a home, and will travel around the world when his wife retires in ten years. [both of my parents are only 62, so.]
Your example of old age homes is distracting from the main point which I think you are making, namely being able, whomsoever you may be, to opine about any subject under the sun, including the cultures of Zulus, the Yanks, the Brits – whatever. Those who point out your ‘otherness’ in this debate, notwithstanding the fact that their own ‘expertise’ on the matter is untested, and must be assumed purely on the accident of being born Zulu, are in fact hiding their true intention, which is to exclude you, on the basis of race.
I help out with homecare for a handful senior citizens in my area. Not one of them wants to move in with their children. Retirement homes are their best option.
I have also toured over 100 schools in rural areas over the past 5 years (part of an education trust). The school children we meet are more likely than not being raised by their grannies .. on a grannies pension.
Thats the difference between black and white elderly people. If you are white you have choices. If you are black you must raise your grandchildren.
Right on Jen – and when you see how many aged people are supporting their grandchildren and great grandchildren in the townships, you realise they may be old but heck they are determined and not decrepit! A false “culture” has been put in place with “retirement villages” etc which encourage the separation of the generations. As a result, a lot of inter generational intercourse has been lost. Traditions of all communities are being lost as a result of this. It is a tragic but very real result of consumerism, the real destroyer of happiness. Consumerism reduces us all to being mice on ever turning mouse wheels, discarding what is not “cool” any more and this includes parents. We leave heaps of rubbish everywhere for other people to pick up. Right now, society is pretty horrible.
The “old age home” is not necessarily a culture thing, more pragmatic. Some people live too long to be taken into a normal home where a normal family life goes on with noisy children, irregular events and you name it.
The need nursing, cleaning, changing while bed bound. Not many ordinary children have those skills. Not many ordinary families have the space and facilities to do this properly. Not many ordinary families -both working parents- have the time during the day to do their duty as required for the best of the elder.
My dear old mother died at 97, and was living independently (so,so – lots of looking after on the side – until 92. Then she fell! Hospital, rehab and nursing home.
My sisters nor my brothers were not skilled to do all this.
We found a place where she was happier than being by herself in her own home.
Life is tough when you are blessed with a long life.
Most ‘old-age homes’ are not dumping grounds for the almost dead. They provide a safe social environment for the aged and have programs for ongoing health, enrichment, fun and stimulation that would not be easily accessible if granny sat at home alone. Many provide frail-care facilities and a dignified ending to their lives.
The thing that jumps into mind about Zulu culture and their care for their old people, is the many occasions where gogo is pointed out as a witch and burned alive in her hut by a blood-crazed mob because of some cultural superstition
Doesn’t matter whether it is culturally correct to place you parents in an old age home or not. The reality is that more and more people do not have the time (working) or resources to look after ageing parents; or they live overseas (sic). The baby boomer generation will present a unique problem globally as there are too many of them and no=one to take care of them……
I wonder why it is, then, that the Gauteng MEC of Health and Social Development is so insistent that she will forcibly place elderly black people in old age homes in the province (to be financed by a nominal provincial subsidy) to achieve racial parity?
Strange too, that she is not equally insistent on placing white children in children’s homes where the racial balance is skewed in the other direction.
I think as South African we have a duty to extend to each other the service of critical analysis. But our prime duty is first to seek to understand, because without this, our critique quickly descends to judgmental-ism.
Understanding allows us to point out faults we find within a certain culture without holding people who practise that culture in contempt. And that is a fertile environment to lobby, influence and persuade each other as equals – not as holier that thou!
So Jennifer, in Zulu culture, we tend to have no regards to critics who have no interest at heart to our ways in general.
I do not believe that, in heart, your blogs are meant to demean or devastate our culture, but I am not convinced also that you have any interest or level of depth or breath with regards to our culture. I don’t believe in that in your heart, your blogs meant to provide advancement of Zulu culture by other means. Therefore, your right to make your views public must be defended. However no further attention should be given to your likes.
Sometimes we really wonder to whose benefit are these reform really.
By the way there are black people in old age home but strictly not our culture. Our culture does not kill and maim those of us who choose to follow their own ways.
@ Benzol – totally agreed – it is not always possible to give proper care to frail elderly people. For me personally, I would like to take care of both my parents when they need me to. But whatever the case, I will do what is truly best for them, not what looks good from the outside.
@ Monde, the author – agreed also. I welcome anyone to take an informed shot at critiquing my actions, whether culture-based or not, and I reserve the right to critique any behaviour I deem ethically questionable, whether culture-based or not.
I’d also like to point out here (and may do so elsewhere) that culture seems to be used in South Africa to describe *only* traditions/customs. This is an overly narrow focus. Culture includes language, beliefs, technology, diet and many other aspects. We all adhere to the practices of our culture/s of origin in varying degrees, and we even have various ideas of what our own culture/s of origin are really about. So a blanket “it’s my culture” or “your culture is bad m’kay” is rather spurious. But I’m digressing =)
I think it is not a matter of black or white. In all belief systems and cultures looking after the elderly is priority.
But the modern life style affected all cultures (and perhaps more the European traditions) and new ways of doing things have evolved.
I believe bottom line is that those who live the individualistic city(black or white) life utilize old age homes. because in the life style they chose o live does not accommodate having space for old parents in the house or match-box size flats.
“There seems to be a misguided belief out there that because some old white folks are in homes, white people have no sense of culture and thus are unable to critique the culture of others.”
This is where missing the point, Black people don’t think white people don’t have culture because they sent their parents to these home, but we know it’s their culture to send them
Wow! From all I have read in the media, black people hang on to their elders to be able to divest them of their old-age pensions and keep them locked up in shacks. How wrong can you be! This is only ‘culture’?
White people generally take pride in our independence and really don’t want our children sniffing around while we’re still alive. When no longer financially or physically (or both) independent, we often go into homes quite happily, apreciating the fact that our kids are helping to provide the fee. Do remember (while you can) that our memories often fail us in old age and all is not always as it seems.
I can’t think of much worse than living with young grandchildren. I didn’t bring up one generation to be inflicted with another. Financial options are what count and many elderly white people don’t have those…bet that’s new to you!
The short and sweet of the above comments, seem to be around the care we can give to the vulnerable in our surrounding society.
Race has F–all to do with it. Comparing all things social on racial grounds seems a South African hobby.
Care is given within the means and competence of people responsible.
Some do it themselves, other “outsource” it.
Most strive to do the best -as they see it- for their loved ones.
“… just because something is wrong with my culture, doesn’t mean that what’s wrong with yours is outside of critique. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Right?”
Jennifer, if we are insistent on labelling cultural practises right and wrong, we are not going to learn from each other. All we’ll keep doing is point fingers and defend our own. This is no way of learning anything. Let’s change our tone in the debate and seek to glean knowledge and values rather than pass judgement. All cultures have elements of beauty and ridicule depending on your vintage point.
Judith, “supporting grandchildren and great grandchildren in the townships” doesn’t sound like much of a life to me; neither does sleeping in doorways, as do five elderly (black) people in my neighbourhood. Then again, neither does living with a bunch of other old fogies, or moving in with any of my much-loved children.
Chris is right – us baby-boomers are going to have a hard time of it when our time comes, no matter what our race or culture.
I become very worried when people elevate themselves as some spokespersons to speak in the name of a skin colour. HOW DO YOU SPEAK ON BEHALF OF WHITES? Is being WHITE a culture? What practises and traditions are beholden to this group of people. To my knowledge 33% of formerly known light-skinned coloureds made it into this group to be classified white. DID THEY ALSO DEVELOP THIS HIDDEN CULTURE?
It is absolutely counter-productive to make such a petty argument without setting the record straight. WE ARE IN A CONSTITUTIONAL DEMOCRACY WHERE RACISM IS ILLEGAL!
Why did you not begin to premise your argument based on that reality and then teach, reteach and stamp some sort of authority on that founding principle in our constitution? It is not only your duty because you parade on the media platform but it is your duty as a SOUTH AFRICAN CITIZEN to influence the non-racism agenda. It is absolutely weak and unbelievable that you make such an idiotic argument and then have the audacity to parade this view in the public domain. Please go and read the SOUTH AFRICA CONSTITUTION and commit yourself to the principles therein!
Is it not a question of who can afford an old age home? They are expensive!
@ Sipho
“we know it’s their culture to send them ”
Really? How do you know this?
Sorry I do not agree that the elderly are better off in a home. It is a poor excuse for not wanting to dedicate part of your life to those who sacrificed for you.
If my wife could look after my grandmother who had Altzheimers so could others. Okay we employed a full time day nurse in her last year but before that my children had the luxury of a great grandmother who was quite victorian but caring.
It seemed natural that she spent her last days surrounded by those she loved even though she had no idea who we were.
“There seems to be a misguided belief out there that because some old white folks are in homes, white people have no sense of culture and thus are unable to critique the culture of others. This is not the case”. How did you come about to this conclusion? From the qoutes(Sipho’s) above The belief is that it’s a wrong cultural practice. The only bad thing about criticizing one’s culture is that, the person doing the critique never takes the time to find out why the practice in question came about and often when one has little or no knowledge about something one tend to respond to these things with disgust or disrespect. Make sure the facts are correct, before drawing conclusions.
Whilst it is true that old people have been abandoned by their children,I do think that we are overlooking some serrious issues. The elderly suffer from Alzheimers,dementia and varying degrees of personality disorders. They can be a danger to themselves and to the community. They even get violent. To keep them in their homes could do more harm than good. Their frailty needs specialised care. hence the need for old age homes. However the MEC in Gauteng wants to cut subsidies to homes that have a white majority. Is this not a human rights violation particularly if she is not prepared to provide a proper subsidy? Can homes care for the elderly properly on R1,500-00 subsidy and R1,010-00 State pension per person per month? Today we hear that a hospice will close because her department has not covered their costs. What happens if old age homes must close? Is it right to let senior citizens sit in the streets because she wants the majority to be Black persons in old age homes? Is this not racial discrimination? As a minister I am responsible for welfare in my denomination and for us we do not look at skin colour. We want to help all and sundry.If the MEC is of the same mind then I would expect her to provide funding to make caring for the aged affordable regardless of race.Last year staff did not even get increases because there was poor State support
Kitty Kat, I think you’re missing the point. I’m not a spokesperson for White culture, and nor is every commenter on a piece on culture a spokesperson for Zulu/Xhosa culture. That’s exactly what my article is trying to illustrate.
Culture is fluid, dynamic and ever changing. That is why it is so important to critique it and why this critique should come from within and from outside.
But I’m glad you’ve read the constitution. Well done you.
Thanks a lot for the question…since despite the fact that it exposes your ignorancy but not your feelings of grandeur and arrogancy it deserves an answer!
None of the blacks who responded answered your question because they are just in the dark like you about the life we lived in the past!Because of the tendency of apartheid to seek to divide us our parents united and mobilised us and so it would not have been in their interest to remove a family member from the family fabrics to some isolated structures.
Our elderly wanted to be with their grandchildren and that would not have been in their interest to move to an old age home!We had very strong family fabric of life and we always look out for stranded blacks and bring them home for safety.
Of course with these post`94 blacks it might be a different story since they have destroyed that social fibre and family fabric of life we built and are copying white lives.
@Banana, old age homes are expensive because of the level of and quality of care required by those who can no longer care for themselves (obviously then retirement villages fall outside this discussion). If the fees of old age homes are capped at an unrealistic level they will not have the funds available to provide an acceptable level of care. However, that is what the Gauteng MEC for Health and Social Development intends doing inasmuch as she has decided that she will allocate elderly folks to old age homes based on her own criteria, and that the homes will be compelled to admit those elderly folks regardless of whether they are able to make up the difference between the nominal subsidy the Department pays and the full rate the homes have to charge in order to continue providing adequate care. As more and more people are admitted to homes under this scheme, more and more homes will be unable to continue operating properly and will either be forced to close down (leaving hundreds or thousands of elderly folks homeless) or to reduce their operating costs to avoid bankruptcy (leaving the same vulnerable elderly folks with inadequate care and exposed to the dangers of abuse). It would be another thing entirely if the MEC were to propose paying the full rate for poor folks she forcibly places in homes they cannot afford.
That is what I said Bill, they are expensive! It was not a crit, it was a comment, and I agree with your points.
I was merely throwing ‘expense’ into the mix, as an aside from culture.
Have a good weekend