Comments on: South Africa, the fatherless country

By: Move on dude

Move on dude — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:13:43 +0000

Phillipa dude what is the make-up of this country? white polulation is about 6%, black population is 90%+ add to that the socio economic make up of this country and…gosh it is tedious work this explaining…
White nannies working for black people…shock of all horrors…get the chip off your shoulder and move on…

By: Phillipa Lipinski

Phillipa Lipinski — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:52:44 +0000

Jo and May: I agree it happens everywhere. In fact, there are quite a few white people who work as nannies and cleaners for black people in the USA but in SA the servant is always black. That was my point. The babysitter for my youngest daughter is a university student who also works part-time in a language school.

By: Hiya

Hiya — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:00:55 +0000

Thanks Joy er Marie I did read the article…my point is that the author focusses too much on the bum deal woman get in the media being vilified by the media for being responsible when something goes wrong.
Besides mentioning how fathers go off to work etc et al the author says…”Fathers do not have to be distant and powerful”…thanks. Thes rest is all about the moms, mothers and her relationship with her single mom…which in the end actually moves to reinforce why the media attributes the mother to any story regarding children…but then I guess I am reading this all wrong…and in that caseits ime to go read the sports pges or some other manly thing.

By: Leon

Leon — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:10:48 +0000

The issue is more complex than this feminist writer wants to imply…
“While divorced dads are unfairly stigmatized as stingy, some noncustodial fathers raise their children in their homes but still pay child support to the children’s mothers. Many others never ask for child support. In the face of a family court system which usually grants mothers a monopoly of power over children, these fathers must buy or rent their children back. When mothers allow their children to live with their fathers—or send them there because they’ve become unruly or inconvenient—fathers often won’t challenge custodial and financial arrangements because they fear doing so will mean they’ll be pushed out of their children’s lives.

Other fathers endure physical abuse at the hands of their wives but remain in the relationships because they know that divorce will leave their children alone in the custody—usually sole custody—of an abuser. Decades of research show that women are as likely to abuse their male partners as vice versa, and that heterosexual men make up a significant minority of those suffering injuries in domestic assaults. However, gender politics has kept this research from influencing government and law enforcement policies. Many men know that revealing their wives’ violence usually means the wife will claim that she was abused, and the system will side with her. Fathers are commonly arrested, punished or slapped with custody sanctions for their wives’ violence.”
- Jeffery M. Leving and Glenn Sacks

By: Jennifer Thorpe

Jennifer Thorpe — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:50:28 +0000

What I was suggesting is that there are so many fathers who are more involved now, and yet the media still seems to think only mothers are. Hope that clarifies it ffor you Hiya, Warren, Kanthan, Chris.

By: Joy-Mari Cloete

Joy-Mari Cloete — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:05:18 +0000

Hiya, if you read the piece you will realise she’s specifically talking about newspaper articles that act as though children do not have fathers; instead they focus on the mothers.

By: Nicholas

Nicholas — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:43:57 +0000

Regarding the idea that black women are forced to abandon their children to work in white households the mathematics of this absurd concept don’t work… Maybe some moms do, but there are many millions of black moms and very few white madams, fewer and fewer of whom can afford the minimum wage.

Maybe the real truth is that the dad’s are dead:

A report released this week [discussed on Tim Modise's show with a relevant Minister] talks of the death rate having doubled over this decade.

So maybe since women seem increasingly to outlive men and the average age of men has declined, and statistically men between 18-30 are most likely to die early, perhaps a significant enough number of men have died to create the newsreader’s dilemma.

By: Al

Al — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:24:15 +0000

Voice of reason – Lali Immanuel.

By: Hiya

Hiya — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:59:35 +0000

I think the author is sitting high on her feminist horse here…and while her efforts to propogate why woman get a bumb deal in society (shame) have some weight, the article does go some way to discount hundreds of thousands of good responsible fathers…

By: May

May — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:39:50 +0000

Erm Phillipa..? I believe its called ‘being employed’?? A happy state of affairs for those who can get it. I am fortunate to be able to work from home three days a week but I can’t do it without the saint of a woman who looks after my children. She has raised six children on a domestic’s salary and sent four of them to university. I am in awe of her and consider us fortunate to be benefitting from her wisdom and experience. She’s the mother I wish I had! No matter where we are from – the townships, informal settlements or suburbs – we mothers have relied on each other. Thankfully everything is not always as black and white as you would perceive.