Not minding your manners on the Gautrain is a punishable offence. It is worse than not paying. You can get blacklisted with a credit bureau for humming a jaunty tune, cursing the lack of cellular signal in the tunnel, or even for trying to use your mobile phone. – Daily Maverick
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And Bombay Concession Company spake all these words saying: I am the Operator of thy train, which have brought thee out of Centurion, out of the house of bondage.
Thou shalt have no other trains before me.
Though shalt not make unto thee any loud music or shouting in the likeness of any thing that is in the heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to fellow passengers, nor beg, nor loiter, nor gamble, for I the OPERATOR am a jealous OPERATOR.
Thou shalt not take the name of the OPERATOR in vain, for the OPERATOR will detain, without permission to use the lavatory, he who takes the name of the OPERATOR in vain.
Six days though shalt labour, and do all thy work.
But the breakdown day is the sabbath of the OPERATOR, in it thou shalt not do any work; thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy stranger, nor thy manservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy emergency protocols that is within them.
For in six years thy train was made and all that is in it, and thy OPERATOR and thy bus service rested the seventh year, wherefore the OPERATOR blessed and hallowed it.
Honour thy guard and thy conductor that thy days may be long upon the train which the OPERATOR giveth thee.
Thou shalt not eat, drink nor chew gum.
Thou shalt not commit adultery nor trade informally on thy train.
Thou shalt not steal, nor wear balaclavas.
Thou shalt not bear false witness, nor advertise without authorisation.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s cellphone signal.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor his luxurious seat and accompanying luggage rack.
And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking, and when the people saw it they removed, and stood far off. And they said to Gautrain spokesperson Errol Braithwaite “speak thou with us and we will hear, but let not the OPERATOR speak with us, lest we die”.
Funny tough I consider it blasphemy against our God, Jehovah. Its clear tha the name of God was replaced with operator. Its unfair and unreasonable humour. Its abuse of author’ creativity by using it to deliberately offend God and the Bible, mabe legal but its wrong.
Thank you, again. So funny. Far better than SATV.
Rhulani, lighten up. I can assure you that God also has a sense of humour and would probably have enjoyed this piece as mush as I have.
Oh dear Rhulani, my God sat in heaven and read the article with a smile on his face. He than decided to make his approval known by bringing the train to a halt in Centurion, so letting the operator know what he thought of him.
The cost of the Gautrain would have paid for the upgrading of the whole rail network of the country for ordinary workers – and they knew this before the project.
I wonder how big the “profit shares” were for the BEE partners in the tenders!
@Lyndal: your first statement is a little of a wild guess. Some ten years ago, I worked on a software project for Metrorail. The software was designed to ease the time tables and increase efficiency of the service. We required detailed info of the railway system: layout of the tracks and crossings, signals, exchanges, gradients (up/down), rolling stock specs….in detail. This could not be provided or not with the required certainty. End of project!! Supplier withdrew. The system runs in Paris – France.
There was a manual adjustment for trains when on the same track, either meeting each other or being behind each other or crossing each others tracks. This adjustment was called “vaselining in”.
I cannot comment on the suggestion of the BEE (Broader Economic Expense) application.
Berbpm
People like you, and many others, including qualified engineers, gave their input on radio debates over and over again about this waste of money on Gautrain. I have just summarised what these experts said.
Oh come… all ye of little heart surely ye all know by know that the core purpose of the Gautrain is to link the bureaucratic spheres of power that represent the most profound … development in the evolution of the African Union; now bonded in a more steely form called ‘Dlam-Zu’…a more profound a choice than any ‘folksie’ operator, moulded into the image of the glorious ‘force’.
Specifically… The Gauteng Legislature, the herbert baker apostles and PAP’s emerging headquarters in between: creating Afrika’s ‘Zone One’ [as i, as nicholas jakari, refer to it in my podcast cyber-story set in the place.]
The Gautrain is a symbol of Mbeki’s most profound success… Turning Gauteng into
the “Brussels” [or Washington if you prefer] of Africa.
Of course it must remain pure and clean.