David J Smith

Can we double the methylhexaneamine dose?

Drugs in sport are bad, unethical, unsporting, even dangerous to the athletes’ lives. But they are not as bad as losing to Scotland. They are the minnows of the six nations, the one team you can pretty much bank on beating. Well, that is if you’re a semi-decent team. But the Boks, at the moment,…

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Why are Rugby League players so dumb?

I know it is not right to judge sportsmen by their intellect, or their ability to string a sentence together. You’d never do the reverse to an astrophysicist. You’d never say: Einstein, genius, but awful ball skills. That would be stupid. But with all that said, one would like to hope that our sports heroes…

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How do poor people have babies?

In two weeks time my wife and I are having a baby. More my wife than me, I can’t take too much credit for these things. Yes, I played my part. But I don’t have to carry it around for 9 months, or deal with all the strange ills that come from having an alien…

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A letter to John Smit

Dear John It is strange to start a letter like that. It has the connotations of a break-up. That we are splitting up, parting ways. Well, in some ways we are. I’m going deep undercover in Australia. For the next while, I will be living like a bogan. I will be wearing the stubbies and…

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I want to complain about the striking teachers

There are bunch of teachers on strike. They want more money or something. I don’t blame them, we all want more money, and sometimes removing your services is the only way to get that. I don’t know if they deserve any more money or if they are just taking a chance. Sometimes in the Third…

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Necropolitics: Our newest answer to the Mugabe question

So Robert Mugabe is still here. He is still running Zimbabwe, he is still buying suits in Hong Kong. He is still causing his country misery, and his so-called war vets are still acting like war criminals. But one thing is new: our government has adopted a new strategy on Zimbabwe. It’s called Necropoliticking. Waiting…

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Why does JZ want to gag the media?

I am not sure why JZ wants to gag the media because the media does a pretty good job of gagging itself. Through the selective targeting of the wealthy classes, papers like the Sunday Times, the Argus, and the Mail & Guardian effectively silence themselves.  They don’t speak to the ordinary people of this country….

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When you’re rich, life is your bitch

To be rich would be a wonderful thing. Now, I don’t mean to have a nice car and a nice home, but really rich. Rich like a Kennedy or a Bush. Rich like the GDP of a small to medium country. Because when you are rich, when you are famous and absolutely fabulous, when you…

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When you’re rich, life is your bitch

To be rich would be a wonderful thing. Now, I don’t mean to have a nice car and a nice home, but really rich. Rich like a Kennedy or a Bush. Rich like the GDP of a small to medium country. Because when you are rich, when you are famous and absolutely fabulous, when you…

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0,0km/h

I am sinking into my chair, my head is floppy and my eyes are at half-mast. I have succumbed to chronic Durban-ness. I can barely tap the keyboard. I would pay someone to tap it for me, but that would mean going indoors to make a phone call or something, and I can’t be arsed….

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