I know it is not right to judge sportsmen by their intellect, or their ability to string a sentence together. You’d never do the reverse to an astrophysicist. You’d never say: Einstein, genius, but awful ball skills. That would be stupid. But with all that said, one would like to hope that our sports heroes at least have some semblance of a brain. It really helps in your everyday life. But with Rugby League that may be one wish too many.
Somehow league manages to attract the thickest of thick to its ranks. Again and again NRL players find themselves yellow-carded in real life for a wide array of the stupidest acts ever. This week a player from Canberra thought it would be a good idea to get some snapshots of him “simulating” oral sex with his dog. I put simulating in speech marks because it looked pretty real. Google image search it. But be warned, it’s graphic.
Beyond the questionable morals of the man, how stupid do you need to be to do this? At what point does it seem like a good idea? Even if you have sucked back a caseload of booze, surely your “career alarm bells” start to ring when your knob is in a dog’s mouth? Surely at some point you must think: Is oral sex from a bull terrier really worth millions in club salaries and sponsorship deals?
Oh well, that’s probably the last we’ll hear of Joel Monaghan. Or maybe he will reinvent himself as a heavyweight boxer like John “Stinkfinger” Hopoate did. Hopoate got the name stinkfinger after he stuck his finger up another player’s ass during a game. Hopoate, in true numpty fashion, didn’t seem to understand what the horde of men on the sideline with the funny little black boxes were doing. Yes, John, they were taking your photo. In the blink of a camera, your career can disappear just like a finger up a man’s a-hole.
League stars have come up short so many times that there is an entire section on Wikipedia called: List of off-field incidents involving rugby league players. If you try avoid the dark stories of gang rape and sexual crimes (NRL players have an evil streak too), you will see some seriously dumb things there. A man who shat in his mate’s shoe. A guy who pissed under the table in a casino. A player who tried to set fire to a kid’s foam costume while the kid was in it. And another who succeeded in setting a friend’s pants on fire. But probably the most telling thing on the list is the warning at the top of the page: This is an incomplete list, which may never be able to satisfy particular standards for completeness. (What I think they are trying to say is: leagies are a bunch of thick bastards and will be keep cocking up until kingdom come).
Rugby league is a hard game and it is guaranteed that you will take a few hard knocks to head. But surely players are not left that retarded that they lose all sense of right and wrong? And if that is the case, maybe we need to consider new living arrangements for them. Cages at the stadiums may not be a bad idea.
PS. I know that every code of sport, every walk of life, has its morons (our old Springbok friend, Joost, springs to mind) but Rugby League defies belief.
What do you expect of people with a career-long facination with balls? I knew this foxterrier once that galvanised into action after a mere whisper of the word ball. He also thought he could catch things with wheels… The problem lies in our iconising such individuals.
And then there were Peter Sellers and Lisa Minelli…
You are right. Stupid’s happening all over the world in all sorts of lives.
Iconising? Demonising is more like it. Whilst Rugby League has lead the way in racism and looking after the down and out all the Rugby Union friendly media wants to know is bad, bad, bad. How is it that Joel Monahan is so disgraced and looses his contract when Phil Kearns had his private parts covered in jam and honey and had his dog lick them on a video linkup to players wives and kids and he is still a gentleman and genuine funny fellow?
Karlos, no one needs to demonise them, they do it themselves. here is the list, go look.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_off-field_incidents_involving_rugby_league_players
As to Phil Kearns, he would have been slaughtered if he had done the same thing in the age of twitter and facebook.
For the record, I think as long as they didn’t knowingly display themselves this way in front of those who would be offended, then let them have a joke amongst freinds.
The article about Kearns was from 2003. Not so long ago. Please tell me David why Rugby League player Hopoate was slaughtered world wide previous to Kearns doing this?
You appear to be saying the deed is not the important thing, but only whether it is popularised or not. If so we are in agreement. So why are Rugby League indiscretions popularised as demonic acts and RU players who perform worse acts depicted quietly as funny and even laudable gentlemen?
I am sure deep down you know why. Class ideology! Higher social classes have the resources (including media friends) to organise, propagate and support the notion that they are somehow intrinsicly superior to the rest of us rather than admit that most of them have had an easier climb. Demonising Rugby League players has been a sport of RU since 1895. Whilst some in RU are ready to admit much deplorable RU power broking has gone on in the past and that it needs to stop, there are many more who cling to inequitable and unjust power relations as a way of dominating others and having their requirements met.
You might ask youself why sportsmen are targetted far more than those in the arts etc who behave in far more disgraceful and selfish ways and are role models to our kids via music and film.
@Karlos – That sounds like the kettle calling the pot names. Jikes, behaviour like that is never cool, by RU, RL, artist, etc. Famous people are just more in the limelight and more is expected of them so perhaps RU is more famous than RL?
The world has really become sick if we argue about degrees of sickness.
David, in an area of journalism so lacking in humour, your article was refreshingly funny to say the least. You write quite well too. I saw it on The Roar.com.au and then I went to read it again and saw it was gone. Huh? I noticed you touched a soft nerve judging from the comments. Did that site remove your article? I know from experience they have little humour over there and it wouldn’t surprise me.
Xcepting, you seem to have concluded 180 degrees away from the body of your work. If RU was more famous, then by your standards of more expected of people the more famous they are, one would have expected RU to be copping the flack and not Rugby League as is the case. A dozen All Blacks have been up on criminal charges over the past 6 years, but where is the outcry?
In the world of art we can see famous modern art specialist Tracey Emin’s wonderful work where a woman is pictured in motion cartooon form furiously masturbating. Of course she has an intellect so superior to the rest of us except the other wankers of the world and must be free to express herself any way she likes.
@Karlos – The All Blacks supporters are presumably more into rugby, not sensationalism. What I was saying is that any person likely to make the news should behave in a way that is good advertising for the organisation he supports, anything else is professional suicide and crying “but they did it as well” is so lame.
Thanks X cepting, but you failed to deal with my reply to your beliefs above. Nothing lame about justice for all.
It is a well known fact that Union players represent the cream of Australian intelligentsia.. followed closely by Germaine Greer.
Isn’t the whole union/league class issue a little redundant these days?
I love your work David. Of course we’re going to get League fans claiming that articles like this are demonizing their heroes. Of course people will come up with futile counter examples and “la-di-da” comments of the kind that suggest bad behaviour occurs in all walks of life. But to say this is like saying it rains everywhere. Of course it does – some places more than others!
It’s a matter of degree: it’s plain obvious that R.League players have a greater PERCENTAGE of unsavoury individuals in their ranks than in many other sports. This isn’t to say that other sports don’t have them – but the point of the article (for those who missed it) is that they are more prevalent in rugby league. This is a fair and reasonable statement. Some sports have less deviates in their entire history than you’d get in one SEASON of R.League. The number of off-field offenses in R.League are overwhelming both in content and volume.
Why point this out? Simple – as a community we find it unacceptable. Children follow these athletes and mimic their behaviour in school and in front of their parents. They learn that it’s ok to swear at referees and carry on like babies when they don’t win. They learn that if you play rugby league you can engage in all kinds of borderline criminal behaviour and get away with it. And so it becomes a culture. How do we solve it? Go back to amateurism where people had to deal with the real world while at the same time playing a game they love for all the…