If you grew up in Durban you had little time for Afrikaans. We thought it was dumb, intellectually inferior. A blunt language with no creative value. Too limited in its diction to produce anything of worth. It was what the Vaalies spoke when they invaded our beaches. It was the language the SAUK dubbed TV shows into to make them extra rubbish. We saw Afrikaans as boring. It was Bles Bridges and Riaan Cruywagen. The tongue of the unfashionable and the conservative. The language of the oppressor. The language of apartheid. (I’m sure I saw those signs in English too, but anyway). By 1994, it seemed like all the stuff we had been told was true. Afrikaans was totally uncool. It looked like it was a goner. A dead language that would be assigned to the scrapheap of history.
But fok did we get it wrong! The Afrikaans kids are here to take the power back. To show us who is baas. But this time, the politics and the weirdo white power stuff is gone. They are here to kick it hard and party like its 2099. They are here to show us no-one throws down like an Afrikaner rushing on klippies — the cocaine of the working-class man.
Rising up from the streets of Belville comes Jack Parow and his Tyger Valley crew. They are mining deep into their suburban roots. Pulling up the shit that the rest of us have shunned and twisting it into gold. While we sat there thinking we were the coolness, the creative ones with the hook-ups to the international scene, these kids went inside. While we looked to NY, Paris and London for our influences, these kids looked to CY, Parys and Benoni. They speak from the heart and tell their truth. It’s like Jack Parow says in his track, Cooler as ekke:
Jy’s die ou met die new fresh look
Ek’s die ou met die Pep Stores broek.
That shit is tight. Because it isn’t coming at you from Pitchfork Media, GQ or the latest issue of One Small Seed, it’s coming vannie grond. It’s of its place. It is relevant, legitimate and honest. And it’s funny like ________ (insert really funny thing here). In fact, it is even funnier. Go listen to it.
But it ain’t just Jack. Afrikaans has more than one answer to its detractors. In fact it has Die Antwoord. A band that has two-point-zeroed the Afrikaans liedjie into a new millennium. They call it Afrikaans rave-rap. A sort of boereorkes with beats vetter than a mince vetkoek. The funny thing is: Ninja, the front man of Die Antwoord used to be Max Normal and before that Waddy of the Original Evergreens, and he used to sing in English only. Recognise, things change.
But it’s not just the music, it’s the fashion, it’s the look, it’s sliced up sweet like highway roses. I’m not sure if it is nice to compare a girl to a 3L Ford Cortina but I’m going to. Yo-landi Vi$$er of Die Antwoord is sexy like that. A chrome spray job, sleek lines and brimming with guts. But if working-class Afrikaans girls don’t float your boat, there is always the Afro-chic of Gazelle. The king of the New Rave African Dictators. This man is carving a new place for the white boy in Africa. If Idi Amin and Donna Summers had a love child it would be Gazelle. Yes, he is that good. His track, Die Verlore Seun basically has just one line but it speaks reams.
Sorry papa, ek moes die plaas verlaat, want ek mis die disko ligte
If you wanted to sum up the beautiful angst of Afrikaans, that says everything. I wish I could write a line like that. But I went to a school that pitched Afrikaans to us as droll, something to endure rather than enjoy. If someone had suggested Afrikaans as an artistic tool, a vehicle for great music and on-point comedy they would have been called a fool.
But like they say it’s never too late to learn. So I emailed Jack Parow and he threw me a line. In fact he threw me several. I asked him to write a set of rules to help me live like a legit Belville Brak, to live life the Jack Parow way. And this is what he wrote:
Fokken dans oppie speaker, fokken dans oppie grond
fokken spring oppie tafels, fokken bons fokken rond
fokken hier fokken daar, fokken alles deurmekaar
fokken jack parow bra, fokken dans oppie bar
fokken dans op jou eie, fokken dans in n groep
dans met n sixpack, fokken dans met n boep
dans oppie dansvloer, dans om n hoek
dans met n cupcake, dans met n koek
drink tot jy dronk is, drink tot jy kotz
drink tot jy sterk is, drink tot jy bots
drink saam met brunettes, drink saam met blondes
drink saam met cool kids, drink saam met skom
TIGHT!
PS This piece wouldn’t be complete without a shout-out to Koos Kombuis, Brasse vannie Kaap, Fokofpolisiekar and all the other Alt-bro Afrikaners out there. Peace Y’all.
A brilliant piece. A great and funny read. Thanks ou pel.
Of course it is
Ninja is the new James Phillips.
As a fellow Natal boy, brought up to be an English snob, I shall emphasise your line …But fok did we get it wrong!
You’ve spoken about the agreeably brilliant silver lining, but theres also a huge mother of a cloud around which this lining exists (Kurt Darren, Bok van Blerk, Steve Hofmeyr,Robbie Wessels, Dozi etc).
With regards to the new SA Engels music – A lot of it is absolutely world class, with very little drivel actually making it mainstream within the Engels culture, as it does seem to do within the Afrikaans culture.
Classic. Absolute gold. Afrikaans is befok man.
I don’t think there’s a more descriptive language in the world. And I’m English.
Watkykjy maak zef Afrikaans al fokken cool van 2000 af, my blare.
Nice piece, David. What about the “Sestigers”, “Sewentigers”, etc.?
If you grew up in Bloemfontein, you knew that English was only spoken in self defence. English was spoken by people in Durban and other types of foreigners. Even the local English newspaper, The Friend, closed down. Nobody read it.
I find the Belville bunch of late as just being OTT. The hype is over and it is milked for more than what it’s worth. Every single monkey’s recording an Afrikaans album nowadays. My question: who buys that???!!! (pardon superfluous use of punctuation marks) I am left with a profound feeling of sadness after watching Parow. I cringed a lot. Parody has a limited shelf-life and frankly I think the whole batch is quite putrid already. Yawn…
Mr Smif, when you like scheme a culture is only its jol, julle souties in KZN is dommer as ek gedink het! Amazingly complex lyrics though
Its not the language which is cool so much as being Afrikaans. If your English you have no real culture.
Awesome!
Fokkit David, jy’s ougat!
Fokken kwaai blog bru!
Love it – I always thought it was a dying language myself, until I stepped over the colonial border! As they say if you “vat n’ kaans” you won’t look back.
Fantastic article, thank you/dankie!
Being from Dutch origin, where Afrikaans was classified as “kitchen Dutch”, I tried first to understand the language which was easier than reading the language. Both did not take long.
Speaking Afrikaans for a Dutch person is more complicated.
When people ask me why I do not speak Afrikaans, my standard answer is: “I can make the noises but cannot speak the language (properly)”.
I refer than to my Saturday afternoon TV series with Piet Plezier where I learned to appreciate the idiom, the expressions (as you call them “tight”) and the elaborate but detailed story telling.
I was convinced that Afrikaans was much more than kitchen Dutch: a “bloemrijke en kleurrijke taal” deserving its own place under the sun.
Thanks for your support.
Will I ever master the language? No, not in my lifetime but I will still make the noises and happily mix Dutch, Afrikaans and English in my conversations when I feel that English does not cut it.
Ja nee kyk, Afrikaners IS fokken plesierig.
Genuine yo.
“heres also a huge mother of a cloud around which this lining exists (Kurt Darren, Bok van Blerk, Steve Hofmeyr,Robbie Wessels, Dozi etc).
With regards to the new SA Engels music – A lot of it is absolutely world class, with very little drivel actually making it mainstream within the Engels culture, as it does seem to do within the Afrikaans culture. ”
The problem with a lot of English South African music is that it tries to be world class and not South African.
Read behind my link above.
For any culture to really deliver gems you firstly need a culture. Most of it shite. Look at the UK or USA. English SA cant escape that their culture is ill defined. It has no foundation of shite.
I grew up in English Natal and never ever at home, social functions, schools etc was Afrikaans treated as inferior or openly and verbally abused – what terrible planet did you come from and ugly people did you grow up with?? The language and spirit of van Wyk Louw and Opperman is beautiful and evolved organically out of South Africa, incidentially initially started and sustained by the Cape ‘Colourds’.
Brent
Nou moet ons net leer om te kan saamstem oor iets , enige iets dan word die wereld dalk ons oester.
Hahah. So the devil-tongue does have a purpose in the end.
As an Afrikaans boykie working for an English paper, all I can say is HOENERVLEIS!
Sorry, but “Fok you did NOT get it wrong” – at the time. The language that is OUT OF power has more potential to be the cool language. NO WAYS was Afrikaans ever cool while fat white male pricks spoke it while abusing fellow citizens. Now that it cannot actually do “kragdadigheid” it can be cool. (And anyway, it’s not Afrikaans that’s cool now, it’s a new language liberally sprinkled with other languages, mainly English).
@Robin Robbie Wessels is a bloody legend. His track Liewe Ouers is a classic. The insights are awesome. it is funny in the way that Kath and Kim and the Royale family are funny.
check it, awesome shit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQVa3isBt8Y
Yea Robin
That’s because the english SA kids listen to drivel from overseas, or even worse, Afrikaans crap. You cannot have significant culture without drivel, in my humble opinion. Check German, check Russian, check French, my my, check English!
And may I add to what I wrote above. Your take on the Afrikaans language is hilarious.
Well done mate. Afrikaans is cool.
Afrikaans is the new black.
Gert Vlok Nel. Beautiful in Beaufort-Wes. Get the video and soundtrack. See where Afrikaans comes from. Beautiful photography, beautiful people.
And it lives. Did you know that we still create our own words? And we borrow? Komper, rekenaar, knormoer, eish! (computer, starter motor, “no shit). Thanks, enjoyed this immensely.
@Dawie – I think the cloud crowd are very good entertainers who make their listeners very happy, but none of them are very good artists.
There are some brilliant Afrikaans musicians and poets, many mentioned in this blog, and many old school musos like Koos Kombuis or even Anton Goosen not mentioned.
I think that Afrikaans has the benefit of being a unique culture on its own. The English culture is still tied to, well, England – with a strong American influence thrown in. for every Afrikaans CD released, a hundred English CDs are released. This actually makes it pretty tough for English musicians in SA to compete against for market share, and maybe this is why the Afrikaans musicians can afford to be cooler.
@David Smith – Brave attempt to cross the bridge and extend the hand of friendship? Good one, in that case. Koos Kombuis rocks, Jack Parow? Afrikaans rapper? Ag shame.
@Kameraad Mhambi – sometimes being old have benefit, one got to be around when things were designed. Zef: short for Zephyr, as in the Ford Zephyr which was a favourite of people who proudly pretended not to be able to speak Afrikaans, wore leathers and chains and basically dug the whole “grease” culture. Those zef people Afrikaans parents would have warned their children against. In our family the word describes someone who tries to be somebody by subscribing to popular (foreign) culture.
Both Afrikaans and English started off as a kitchen language and developed because masters needed to communicate with slaves who spoke a different language. English is just older and therefore more complex.
The first paragraph of the article was fine in which the author described the vile and detestable nature of Afrikaans -the language’s intimate associations with racism and the absence of anything worthwhile to be said in this language’s defensive. But then I was lost after the second paragraph… Afrikaans as cool? Well I guess “cool” is subjective but still let us be realistic. Afrikaans will perish from this country, and the groups and individuals the author describes are the last death rattle of a dying culture. Afrikaans may she rest in peace…
David Howard. My first reaction was anger at your observation. Later, realising that it was a purely emotional reaction to an attack on something I hold dear (my Moedertaal), I had to ask myself: “What if he is right?” It has happened before, I’m sure – a language going extinct. Time Magazine once predicted that there will eventually be 3 languages left: English, Spanish and Mandarin.
It’s true isn’t it… Lekker!
please look at how many people use English before saying that Afrikaans is better. It is a blunt and weird language to learn and sometimes can be a problem for students at school who wont be using the language but fail the year because it is compulsory
Funny article but I’d have to say that Jack Parow is not the best example of Afrikaans music. In my opinion, “common” has never been cool.
However some of the comments here confirm what you say at the beginning of the article (and the topic of a lengthy discussion with some friends a while back). Prejudice against, or at least an attitude of superiority towards, Afrikaans and Afrikaners is quite a socially acceptable prejudice. There are others but that is not relevant to this article.
I feel it’s perfectly acceptable for someone not to want to learn a language. However I do believe you miss out on the enrichment of learning something new, the benefits associated with speaking to someone in their mother tongue, and last but not least, multilingualism is strongly correlated with resistance against degenrative neurological disorders. Read up about it.
I had to take an African language as part of my degree course. I chose Zulu but found it a very complex language to learn. However I don’t regret having to step outside my linguistic comfort zone.
As for Afrikaans becoming extinct, don’t be too sure. http://www.endangered-languages.com/ has an interesting classification system you can check
@ David Howard
I felt I needed some clarification on your statements about the “vile and detestable nature of Afrikaans -the language’s intimate associations with racism and the absence of anything worthwhile to be said in this language’s defensive”.
I think the word you were looking for was “defence”. But I am unable to grasp how a language may, in and of itself, be vile and detestable. Furthermore I was wondering about any specific language’s “intimate association with racism”. Is American English intimately associated with slavery because the slave-owners spoke it? Is Flemish intimately associated with oppression, mutilation and torture because of Leopold II’s horrific abuses?
I eagerly await your response.
I was born and raised in Durban and as an Afrikaner had to contend with people that could not come close to speaking my language the way I spoke theirs. Nogal snaaks dit as I am still here and all the souties think I am Engels but nothing can be further from the truth
Glad there are Souties seeing the light in that not all Afrikaans is Rina Hugo and Curt Darren.
http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?id=658297772 I hammered out this Facebook note. Watkykjy seems to be getting much more attention than it is been given credit for, and I think it serves as a portal for social commentary.
David J Smith has it spot on, once again.
As it happens, an author with the most subtle sensibilities, writing in Afrikaans, lives in Durban. She is Ingrid Winterbach, author of incredible novels such as “Niggie” (translated as “To hell with Cronje”), “Die Boek van Toeval en Toeverlaat” (“The Book of Happenstance”), “Karolina Ferreira” (also translated) and her latest, “Die Nederryk”. Well worth investigating!
I’m so over Afrikaans as ‘language of the oppressors’. Wherever you go in SA, Afrikaans is fluid and swims accordingly. I wish I could speak and write suiwer. It is one of the most poetic languages I’ve ever heard. (Personally I think it shits on Dutch and German in terms of range, but then I’m biased. Everything starts with language and the range of Afrikaans particularly because it’s so fluid – I’m biased – referring to Western Cape here – is so pretty and yet so fulfilling particularly when I, (crap at it) here it spoken in whatever context.)
I think Die Antwoord, satire or not, is a bloody clever production considering the intricacy of website, clips, shorts, etc. I’m just glad that a South African band is getting an audience on a worldwide scale in all languages of Sa. Okay three out of eleven aint bad.
Thanks for another great article. Where else could anyone get that kind of info in such a perfect way of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I’m on the look for such info.
Afrikaans is definitely becoming a stronger language online too. Just look at the amount of Afrikaans Blogs that has sprung up over the past few years.