Why is it that a man is never able to see how good he has got it? Why are we so willing to gamble a life’s happiness for a moment of cheap satisfaction? Tiger had a great wife. Beautiful, smart, university educated, worldly and by all accounts a nice person. Plus she has given him two beautiful children. As far as marriages go, a man can’t really ask for much more. Tiger had it made. That was until he started banging a New York nightclub hostess.
Tiger’s cock-up is momentous. Huge. Up there with Decca Records not signing The Beatles and Tom Selleck turning down the Indiana Jones role. He had everything on a silver platter and he chose to eat off the floor. As they like to say in sports writing — he snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. But the thing is he is not alone. Tiger’s mistake is an absolute classic man-move. One of those unfathomable decisions that men just seem to make. All the signs are saying go right and we go left. We forget about the gold we have in front of us and stick our hand into the fire to pull out a piece of copper.
Why the hell do we do that? What is wrong with us? I mean we are talking about the same people who have led nations through wars, navigated troubled waters, developed cures for crazy diseases, gone to the moon and run large multinational companies. People who are capable of making very complex and rational decisions in the most stressful of conditions. But put us in a bar and offer us some cheap floozy and we’ll think about it. We’ll think about tossing away everything we’ve got. Just for that shot at 1 minute and 53 seconds of glory. Confronted with the most simple of dilemmas — the choice between a totally awesome wife and a girl we hardly know — and our ability to reason is reduced to that of a Neanderthal. A moronic fool who shouldn’t be trusted with the money for the next round, never mind the keys to lifelong happiness and domestic bliss. But there it is, that’s the way it goes. It is the test that so many men have and will fail. When it comes to the opposite sex we seem to have the moral fortitude of alley cats.
Many people seem to believe we are driven by the old pecker. Led into trouble by that little fella in our pants. And yes, that is partially true. He is a little prick. A no-good one-eyed chancer who likes to screw with our future. A deviant who should at all times be securely fastened inside a pair of tight briefs. But surely after a million years, we have progressed far enough that we are not just some useless appendage to our penis? To be dragged along to any and every foray of his choosing. Surely we are more than just our sexual desires?
The same goes for the people who say it is genetic. That straying is somehow hardwired into our DNA. That it is more than just lust and is in fact a natural way to behave. A throwback to the days when we lived in troops rather than societies. When it was imperative to our survival as a species that we buggered anything that moved. Well, if that really is the case why do I not feel the need to eat raw meat, live in a hole or roll around in the mud like my primordial ancestors? They too are natural ways to behave. The truth is we have been quite selective in what “instinctual” behaviour patterns we have decided to keep. For many men playing the field is definitely more fun than going back to the cave to hang with mama and the cubs.
That is until we get caught. Too many times I have sat with guys who have lamented the wife or girlfriend they lost. The one that left. The one that was so awesome. The one who understood him. Didn’t laugh at him when he secretly shed a tear during a crappy rom-com. And gave him a cuddle when he had a bad dream. The one who put up with his strange habits, his idiosyncrasies and his tendency to drink straight from the carton. The one who had sex with him even when he stank of stale beer and cigarettes. The chick, who when he met her, he couldn’t believe she was actually interested in him. The chick who every other guy in the room would have given their left nut for. And what did he go and do? He banged the intern at the office party. He slept with the au pair. Shagged the fat bird at the local. Went down on the stripper at his buddy’s stag do. Slipped one to the maid. He became yet another cliché.
Boys, it is the season of Christmas parties and bikinis, troubled waters lie ahead. God’s speed and hang tough. A timely U-turn is always better than three weeks on our bro’s couch and months of grovelling. And ladies, we are weak, like dogs, so please be nice and kick us in the nuts and send us back to our rightful owner.
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33 Responses to “Tiger’s wood and the mystery of men”
According to reports, and this is hearsay, when in bed, Tiger’s wife was colder than a piece of Norwegian salmon. Like I say though, hearsay.
[…] Thought Leader » David J Smith » Tiger’s wood and the mystery of men www.thoughtleader.co.za/davidjsmith/2009/12/06/tiger%E2%80%99s-wood-and-the-mystery-of-men – view page – cached Why is it that a man is never able to see how good he has got it? Why are we so willing to gamble a life’s happiness for a moment of cheap satisfaction? Tiger had a great wife. Beautiful, smart,… Read moreWhy is it that a man is never able to see how good he has got it? Why are we so willing to gamble a life’s happiness for a moment of cheap satisfaction? Tiger had a great wife. Beautiful, smart, university educated, worldly and by all accounts a nice person. Plus she has given him two beautiful children. As far as marriages go, a man can’t really ask for much more. View page […]
I think the inability to be distracted by any consideration but the immediate challenge is the thing ultimately responsible for all specifically male achievements and failures.
I think there is a difference between being married and married (happily), its easier to find solace in the presence of someone who makes you happy, than to rush back into the arms of an ice queen, even if the person who makes you most happy is a cocktail waitress with a great rack, or whatever the six other woman who alledge to have slept with the roaring tiger do for a living or how big their breast sizes are.
I can never understand why these pop idols, footballers, film stars etc all get married in anycase, its inevitable that they will cheat with so many good offers constantly up for grabs.
Tigers ego must be up there with the greatest of them given his accomplishments - Tiger you da man!
Apart from the fact that I wholly disagree with your entire monogamy schtick, in this specific instance, I find it faintly repulsive that a man can be beaten up by his wife, whatever the circumstances, and society glosses over it.
Why slander the Neanderthal people (”our ability to reason is reduced to that of a Neanderthal”) when you know nothing about the way they lived? It would be way more appropriate to stay with Homo sapiens and to say “our ability to reason is reduced to that of a Christian priest who’s been celibate for too long”.
If you k@k on your front stoep - take the consequences like a man. TW - a guy I really admired (that from an old whitey). His determination, tenacity, etc, now flushed down the long drop. Will any one differ by saying, should one see TW again, one can only think of his wife who had a better swing with a “wood” than the man himself. He had to many “balls” in the hole in one “club”. Bye bye birdie (excuse the pun)
“Beautiful, smart, university educated, worldly and by all accounts a nice person.”
Yeah, but therein lies the rub (pun intended). Unfortunately, NONE of the above attributes is what turns on red-blooded men, lights the fire, ignite the passions, burns the soul, ….
There is a strong correlation between he power a man has and his promiscuity. The difference is easily noticeable when one compares a man before and after rising to power. This has been true since the beginning of time. Can’t explain why though. I suppose nature has has many a trick in store for us men.
My sympathies his wife and to Tiger…or shall we now call him Cheetah….sorry, couldn’t resist that one.
According to reports, and this is hearsay, when in bed, Tiger’s wife was colder than a piece of Norwegian salmon. Like I say though, hearsay
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I don’t know how cold or hot she may be but who could report accurately on this apart from the two involved? Hearsay is an understatement. Comment from aquantances cannot be trusted as personal interests normally twist these without limits. We all know people that do the same as Tiger did but not being famous, we really don’t care much. Malicious gossip sell papers so it’s all about money. Who appointed the guy as a model citizen? Let them sort out their problems in peace.
I think the problem is he married a woman who wasn’t his equal.No I’m not talking about that. From all accounts his wife’s job prior to marrying him was former ‘model’and nanny.Not exactly matched.
Why was he so insecure that he had to marry below his socioeconomic group and opt for the nanny for a wife,choose mistresses that were R100 an hr waitresses,smalltime porn actresses,pr girls,clubrats?
Maybe a marriage with a female actress,singer, sports star,sports presenter would have fared better,beauty gets boring after a while,it helps have something in common,but then maybe he liked the power control of having women ‘lower’ than him.
Take Jay-Z in contrast- he is hugely powerful,and chose a wife,Beyonce,who is arguably equally powerful if not more,who knows maybe he cheats too,but I’m sure his match probably keeps him more interested/on his toes than a stay at home ex- nanny would.
Maybe if Tiger had married someone more on his level in terms of power/wealth/career,he would feel less at ease with treating her like crap,like he did with Elin?Who knows..
This however, is not limited to men alone. I have read about a survey somewhere, that concluded that on average, 45% of children wasnt fathered by the husband.
This type of actions are not conscious, but is ruled by something deep inside our brains that creates the urge for men, to father as many children as possible, and thus spread his genes more widely.
Studies have also shown, that despite the love a woman has for her partner, at the time of ovulation, she is subconsciously attracted to men with better genes. This is to pass the strongest genes to her offspring. This is also the reason why women are attractied to powerful men.
“And ladies, we are weak, like dogs, so please be nice and kick us in the nuts and send us back to our rightful owner.” David, you hit in the nuts bro.
For every man cheating, there is a willing woman involved.
well tiger made a mistake, but very funny that simply bacause its him this is being taken like nothing on the planet. yes we as men can get greedy, yes we as men never realise a good thing when we have it n funny we always realise when its gone, but maybe Tiger had his own Reasons for what he did, even if it was merely Lust but it still is a reason, whether Valid or not, i just wonder according to who will it be right.. . .and again who are we to judge instead we need to learn from these mistakes we make in our lives!!!!. . i remain
Men never know how lucky they are with what they have until they mess up or loose it. While your mirriage is nice and stable its easy to say your wife is cold in bed to justify your reason to be adventurous tasting variety of honey available in the market of aldut world, but the moment she finds out of your infidelity and decide to move out, you will cry and forget your claim that she is ice-cold in bed.
Bec men cant eat pap everyday for years, however juicy it might be… the Church (and the feminists moralists) have tried hard to demonize it, but nature is and will be stronger. Neanderthal DNA maybe… The only victory of the moral brigade is to have made it an issue.
The problem with the Tiger debacle is that he put himself on this very high pedestal; he comes across as this perfect human being and has a very well orchastrated public persona. He chose that; much like Hansie Cronje did. Now he has fallen and the ground was very far away - much like with Hansie. I have no sympathy for him.
“But surely after a million years, we have progressed far enough that we are not just some useless appendage to our penis?”
Unfortunately that’s exactly how evolution works and we have little control over the impulses of this errant attachment once it gets a sniff of a Freudian slip. Oops!
Loving someone is fantasy but living with someone is a reality which demands work. If you are not up to it, you are constantly on the move chased by your own inadequacies and in search of that fantasy. Marriage does neither a good man nor woman make, it only perfects that which is already in you, for the better or for the worse.
Marriage is like a choice from a menu. You are satisfied with what you have up until you look into another’s plate.
Tiger’s problem is unique in that he had several women traced to him. How unhappy can you get with a wife which one affair cannot help to fix. I see his inadequacies here more than I see a wife who is cold in bed!
Reports mention the ante-nuptial contract. If mine were worded ‘$20mn for staying 10 years’ I would wonder why the need? Could it have been that he knew back then he was a philanderer? I don’t think that would necessarily make me all warm and loving, either. Why should it? ‘Stay’ says absolutely nothing about the reason people should be taking marital vows.
Still, it was a good blog. Such honesty from a man is refreshing. And ante-nuptial contracts have their place in society. As for completing a triangle, those that do, usually only do so because they are vulnerable. The ‘haves’ should set the example to the ‘have nots’.
Bra Dave thanx again for this post. Its url has ciculated all around in our office, (sic) even ma wife has read it. Thanx you.@Mzungu,4sho.
Correction pls, she has injected, my wife,that there is a slight error on your postand I quote:
“My man does not……err ‘1 minute and 53 seconds of glory’ no no no But 3 to sometimes 5 minutes with a little Ambien dose”.
I totally agreee with Xolly Sidiya. Let’s leave them alone. Men have been cheating for decades, i am not saying let’s accept that, but then it is reality. Just like Bill and Hillary Clinton they will hopefully get through this. As for the Mother in law collapsing, (i mean really now??)
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David Smith is a world famous artist and a British Olympic hammer thrower. He is a curler for Scotland and Manitoba. A pro wrestler fondly known as the British Bulldog. A Canadian economist and a Mormon missionary they call the Sweet Singer of Israel. He is a British historian and a bishop. David Smith is the biographer of HG Wells, a professor of physics, a composer and a music teacher at Yale. He played rugby for Samoa, England and New Zealand. He created the Melissa worm, a deadly computer virus. He is the Guardian's man in Africa, he starred in a reality TV show and shot his way to silver in the 600m military rifle prone position at the 1920 Summer Olympics in Antwerp.
But this isn't that David Smith. This is the blog of the other David Smith. David J Smith. The bum who was unemployed and loving it in Durban but then had to get un-unemployed because his Australian wife got pregnant and wanted to go back to Australia to be near her mum. Who could blame her? She's having a kid with that bum. Yup, you know who I'm talking about. Yes, him. The David Smith who likes to write about himself in the third person.
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According to reports, and this is hearsay, when in bed, Tiger’s wife was colder than a piece of Norwegian salmon. Like I say though, hearsay.
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