Zuma is a beautiful boy. His big doleful eyes and playful face have been a hit with the press. Every photographer making funny gobbledygook sounds to try and get his attention. Moving the camera about until the light catches that soft wisp of hair on his shining dome. Much to everyone’s delight, he has now started to walk. And very soon he will even talk. His parents must be very proud.
Zuma really comes alive at night. When the straight-lacers are all tucked up in bed, it’s time to pump. Zuma drops the needle and the music begins to pulse. The beat starts to grind. Let’s get our sweat on. Five buck Jagerbombs and champagne flow til dawn. Got no cash? Don’t worry, Zuma takes all major credit cards.
Don’t think you can resist.
The Zuma is everything you want and desire. A fuel-injected four-stroke engine built into an easy- to-mount frame. All growl and leisure. There’s room for two on top of that ample saddle. Add tough beefy shocks and two fat tires and you’ll want to ride this thing even in a shower.
But Zuma isn’t just sex on a stick. Zuma is for all seasons and every occasion. Whatever your colour choice, Hollywood pink, Olive, Charcoal or Lime, for a small price, Zuma can be yours today.
Ready to lead you off into a world of fun! Zuma is animated, filled with intrigue and devilish action. But beware of traps and trickery along the way. You’ll need to play smart if you want to find Zuma’s hidden treasure trove.
If you’re starting to worry, please don’t. Zuma has humanity. It’s called Zumanity. Like two men dancing on a stage. Ebbing and flowing. Bobbing and weaving. Dancing in harmony. Locked in accord. Beautiful to watch. But then again it could just be an act.
Jacob Zuma. President of South Africa. To run a country like this you need the energy of a night club, the power of a Yamaha, the carrying capacity of a big handbag, the imagination of a computer game and the ability to enthral like the Cirque du Soleil.
W’T'F…….
I do not care if Gwen Stefani son is called Zuma. This guy just called the President of the country, a boy!
Great blog, David. Absolute pleasure to read – thank you. How often does your Zuma need servicing, what’s your consumption like and what are your insurance premiums?
khosi,
lighten up. David ain’t talking about your President.
Great article.
I am a cautious fellow.
I know a couple of months ago..there were some sharp car salesmen dudes out there at the launch of this New Zuma Model, who told me that once I ride this machine,I am going to be really impressed and never try anthing else. “Trust me, the cool salesman dude said..its the Truuuuuth..and 65% of your brothers and sisters have already bought the New Zuma Model…and they cant all be wrong,now can they!?” ..but,as I said, I’m a cautious fellow, and I am just checking…..So,tell me..does this Zuma Model, come with a 5yr warranty (ii)Is it one of these models,that you can impress your chick with,but you know, is maybe going to break down half way home,after a lekker night out..(and then you are definetly not going to get lucky)(iii)Last question, the factory where this New Zuma Model was built..I hear the mechanics that work there are a bunch of ex-crims(sourced @ low hourly rate..but told..good perks,if they work hard),who once they have your hard earned bucks …are going to high five each other…and then do a runner…and say,”Sod the new Zooped up Zuma model, I had nothing to do with it ..and never worked at that factory anyway.!?
Is there any truth in this…!!?
I was offended there in the 1st sentence there like khosi… but i see the depth of the article…
there is clearly a new level of Zumatology??!!
Khosi, Faith. That’s the trouble with writing at 2am. I was just looking for a word that could work for both zumas. The connotations of the word didn’t really occur to me until I read Khosi comment. And that is definitely not where I wanted to go with the piece.
Sorry!