Comments on: Cows, Makarovs and the dangers of charming men

By: David

David — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 11:10:42 +0000

One year in the late 1990′s my parents had nine friends and aquaintances killed in farm murders and another one permanently disabled. A few years later my Dad’s room mate from his college days was murdered in his bed on his farm by youths.

We have to look into why some mom’s bash their babies, why some men rape, why some disadvantaged youths murder farmers, and why some kids join gangs and do drugs. Only once we understand the social stress that drives people to commit these crimes can we heal society. I am not talking about the born phsycopath or sociopath, they are difficult to cure. I talking about why some normal people go over the edge.

By: Charlene Smith

Charlene Smith — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:07:18 +0000

Shabash – you are absolutely right, it is up to us who have experienced harm to speak out again and again and again – because if those who love us, who care about us, are good people then how can they do nothing? We need to recognise that our silence aids and abets those who harm.

By: Shabash

Shabash — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:03:04 +0000

Charlene, powerful piece! You outline 2 very important issues for me. Firstly, even in South Africa reporting a crime related to theft etc has a more noticeable procedure than reporting any level of gender based violence.

The cow has more material value. Money, material wealth seems to get more privilege than the politics of sex, sexuality, and gender based violence.

Secondly, your story about Andrea and other students is a very serious reality. There is a stigma that educated women fear being attached to. Esp those that have studied gender relations, politics etc. The stigma is that of being known as/ called a victim like so many other women. Its humiliating to tell a story that speaks of the verbal, emotional, physical and sexual violation… it’s humiliating even if one has spent years studying this stuff so as to not be a victim.

Maybe we need to focus more on creating a space for people of violence to come forward with their stories. This space will be made up of people from difference social and economic spaces. Ofcourse it assumes that people who have been violated can actually come forward! With the suitable emotional & psychological support telling personal stories maybe a way of addressing seclusion. If we shared our stories more then the burden of being victimised is also shared. Maybe! Just Maybe!

By: Peter Pumpkin Eater

Peter Pumpkin Eater — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:15:09 +0000

Any debate about crime without looking at the social stresses that cause crime is vacuous.

We need to understand the causes, debate the solutions and how to implement them.

By: MLH

MLH — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:44:21 +0000

Owen, I’ve heard it said that some SA cultures believe that when a man reacts violently or jealously to a woman, it proves his love. Can’t say I think that’s rational logic, but I can believe that many insecure women might find a controlling nature in their partner/boyfriend appealing, up to a point. It’s the point that’s cloudy, because it seems that trust does not take over in many relationships and that might be because too many are playing games rather than being absolutely honest about their feelings. When so many marriages end in divorce, it seems fairly clear that vows made are often only kept as long as deemed suitable. Perhaps they should be changed to ‘Until the death of love does us part’.

By: 16 Days « Pink Hair Girl

16 Days « Pink Hair Girl — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:05:21 +0000

[...] people’s views and blogs Scott: I have XY chromosomes, too. Megan : 16 Days Thought leaders Cows Makarovs and the dangers of Charming men Category(s): Uncategorized Tag(s): abuse, kids, [...]

By: Twitter Trackbacks for Thought Leader » Charlene Smith » Cows, Makarovs and the dangers of charming men [thoughtleader.co.za] on Topsy.com

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:52:36 +0000

[...] Thought Leader » Charlene Smith » Cows, Makarovs and the dangers of charming men http://www.thoughtleader.co.za/charlenesmith/2009/11/27/cows-makarovs-and-the-dangers-of-charming-men – view page – cached In Namibia the sentence for stealing a cow is higher than that for raping a woman. For the first offence both rape and theft of a cow carries a 10 year sentence but for second offenders rape carries… Read moreIn Namibia the sentence for stealing a cow is higher than that for raping a woman. For the first offence both rape and theft of a cow carries a 10 year sentence but for second offenders rape carries a 15 years sentence while a person who steals a cow will go to jail for 30 years. Read less [...]

By: Rory Short

Rory Short — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 19:18:43 +0000

Treating something, as unacceptable as rape is, as a crime is an insufficient societal response if we really want to make a dent in the problem.

Criminalising rape has not made it go away. We need to invest in more research so that we can act before the event to stop it ever happening.

I would guess rape has an awful lot to do with how male children are socialised especially with regard to their heterosexual relationships. My gut feeling is that a male child who has loving relationships with the adult females in his childhood environment is highly unlikely to become a rapist as an adult.

By: Charlene Smith

Charlene Smith — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 18:00:43 +0000

- TomV – I got my facts from the Makarov website and Wikipedia.
- Toni -First of all writing on this for 16 days kills me. Some of it is traumatic for me & it is non-paying, it’s just my little bit in the hope that somehow, somewhere it might make a positive difference for just one person. That is my goal always, just one person & if it helps more or provokes some change then that is an added blessing. But why 16 days instead of 365 days? Because in the same way that we have birthdays when we should celebrate life every day, we humans need to be reminded to remember. If it was every day we’d ignore it, so these 16 days, created by men actually, are in some ways a sacred space & time to reflect: what am I (each of us) going to do to stop this. To create a peaceful, respectful, tolerant world?

By: Mark Robertson

Mark Robertson — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 17:23:11 +0000

I totally support your blogs, and I must salute you for continuing to highlight the scourge of violence against women. You are quite right that the law does not protect women enough. However as noted above a Makarov is a ‘double action’ normal 9mm pistol, not a semi-automatic weapon (such as the MAC-10 or BXP) – I know it’s a silly point of detail, but no harm in getting all the detail right – I would appreciate feedback myself if I had written something and got details wrong.