I was on a sensitive mission as I snuck into my local Dis-Chem and whispered discretely into the ear of a store assistant. “Hey Vusi,” she shouted down the aisle filled with pre-Christmas shoppers, “show this gentleman the enema buckets”.
Vusi bounded up to me with a glint in his eye, a skip in his stride and a toothy, knowing smile. “I’m a Zulu … we know everything about enemas, man,” he proclaimed loudly in one of those Pythonesque nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more moments that brought a flush to my cheeks.
Vusi ambled down the aisle, reached for a package and started to unwrap it before me and several other by now interested customers. With the skill of a blindfolded Selous Scout re-assembling an AK47, he had the equipment primed for action in matter of seconds. After some brief instruction he sent me on my way with my package, a meter of red tubing dangling behind me like an inflamed and angry serpent.
My name is Bruce and I am an enema virgin. Well I was until two weeks ago; now I’m a pro. Inserting hard plastic objects up my bum and trickle-feeding warm liquids into my colon feels, well, almost natural, like brushing one’s teeth or driving a car.
My interest in the health benefits of enemas was sparked recently after I started researching liver detoxification, which I believe we all need as we get older and our bodies accumulate increasing concentrations of environmental poisons. The liver plays a key role in the detox process and a good gallbladder/liver cleanse helps keep the body’s detox weaponry battle-ready.
You might wonder what enemas have to do with the liver. After all, the usual reason for an enema is to flush the colon. Well it turns out that there’s a special kind of enema that is said to be highly effective as a liver/blood detoxifier: coffee enemas.
If you haven’t heard about the benefits of rectal espressos or anal Arabicas or any other cheap/snide metaphors for this interesting therapy, sit back and relax, much is revealed below:
The effectiveness of the coffee enema is thus:
1. It stimulates bile flow from the gallbladder which carries toxins out of the liver. You may have tried milk thistle or dandelion to achieve such a detox, but these are herbal lightweights when compared to the kick of coffee. The herbal remedies, while stimulating some bile production, do not prevent the bile and its toxins from being reabsorbed by the body the way coffee does (the body recycles bile several times). It’s claimed that coffee enemas will move up to 98% of bile toxins out of the body.
Gar Hildenbrand, a specialist in the field, says that under the influence of a coffee enema the GST system will increase its activity by 600% to 700% above normal. “No materials other than coffee are known to stimulate it as much.”
Hildenbrand works for the Gerson Foundation, which use coffee enemas as part of its natural treatment regime for cancer. The therapy was pioneered by Dr Max Gerson in the Thirties and his work continues today though Gerson clinics established by his daughter Charlotte in the USA, UK and Mexico. (You won’t be surprised to hear that Gerson and his coffee enemas have been pilloried by the medical establishment).
If all this talk about the detox benefits of coffee has you thinking you can simply drink more lattes or espressos and get the same result, alas the reverse is true: drinking coffee generally ensures the re-absorbtion of toxins.
Coffee enemas are not a quick fix. Years of toxic build-up just cannot be removed overnight, so be prepared to make them part of your lifestyle; In 2009 I’m planning on doing them at least once a week.
Check out these websites:
Good luck with that; I’ll stick to my standard regimen of a double espresso enjoyed orally. More bodily filters against impurities in the substance, and all that…
I am waiting for a full report back on the process.
This will confirm that you are not winding us up!
Good luck.
Bruce, I trust you are not being serious!
“If all this talk about the detox benefits of coffee has you thinking you can simply drink more lattes or espressos and get the same result, alas the reverse is true: drinking coffee generally ensures the re-absorption of toxins”
Apart from the highly questionable ethics and lack of scientific validity in promoting the entire concept of ‘purging toxins’ from the body, Dr Garson’s claims are fallacious.
By his own admission, Dr Gerson claims that:-
“Drinking coffee causes the following problems: increases reflex response, lowers blood pressure, increases heart rate, causes insomnia and heart palpitations, over stimulates the adrenals, irritates the stomach, and leaves a ‘toxic residue’ [whatever that is] in the body.”
Nowhere does Dr. Gerson bother to explain how, physiologically and pharmacologically, absorbing caffeine, or anything else in coffee directly (by enema) into the hemorrhoidal veins, to the inferior mesenteric vein and then to the portal vein is any different than absorbing such substances from the small intestine, to the superior mesenteric vein and then to the portal vein…i.e. by just drinking the stuff.
Absorption may be by via different veins in the beginning, but it all ends up in the portal vein heading for the liver (as does all the gut vasculature)
In any case there really is no physiological reason to suspect that it would make any difference whether anything in coffee is administered orally or by enema.
Please tell me: once these ‘miracle’ substances have been absorbed, how do they remember where they came in, and how do they talk the various organs into doing something different?
I suspect that the fascination with enemas stems from a deep subconscious Freudian fixation arising from some long forgotten childhood ‘enforced cleansing’ experience… with possible psychosexual dimensions.
Anyway it’s a free country and I have no problem so long as ‘detox’ (mal)practitioners do not start expecting their ‘services’ to be covered by Medicare.
This is either another round of quick-fix quackery, or perhaps more charitably, a narrowly focused view of what Dr Gerson proposed.
Quoting from the doctoryourself link:
“Max Gerson cured cancer. He did so with a strict fat-free, salt-free, low-protein, essentially vegetarian dietary regimen, based on great quantities of fresh vegetable juice, supplements, and systemic detoxification.”
So was it the coffee up the bum that cured the cancer, or was it living a more healthly life that made the greatest difference?
Perhaps the best answer for detoxing is to not to put the toxs in. Not a fashionable view I’ll grant you…
It sounds like you’re creating problems yourself by trying to solve this issue instead of looking at why their is a problem in the first place
What Really Helped Me Is Eating A Lot Of Fiber Rich Food..