“The nineties were awesome, the noughties sucked!”
“No way! You’re just showing your age,” replied my friend who’s 20 years older than me.
Me? Age? That’s what old people do. No, the nineties were cool. A time of hope and promise. The fall of the Berlin Wall, the release of Mandela, the arrival of McDonald’s in South Africa … anything was possible.
In the nineties, American filmmakers had to invent threats. Aliens attack and only Jeff Goldblum can save us! Asteroid hits Earth and only Bruce Willis can save us! Deadly virus threatens mankind and … oh wait, that sort of happened.
The music was rocking too. Can you seriously compare the limp-wristed stylings of Kings of Leon to Pearl Jam? AKing to Springbok Nude Girls? And on the house side, Paul Oakenfold to David Guetta?
There was a grittiness to the nineties (and it wasn’t just a tendency to ignore soap). Earrings from Sgt. Pepper’s in Greenmarket Square were cool, not Diesel Jeans from the Waterfront. Girls wore Doc Martens and long floral dresses. In the noughties they wore Paris Hilton perfume and no underwear.
Of course, while Rwanda and Bosnia were suffering the most horrific genocides since the Holocaust, we were busy with gun-slinging morons in Bophuthatswana, bombs in churches, Codesa and Telly Fun Quiz.
We were also so caught up in our post-World Cup rainbow nation glow that we kind of forgot to tell Nigeria not to execute Ken Saro-Wiwa.
On the plus side, despite his, er, “loose” definition of sexual relations, Clinton was president of the USA (and just look what came after that). Mandela was president of South Africa (and just look what came after that).
The rise of social media is ironic at a time when the consumerist egomania of the eighties has enjoyed a revival. There’s a reason MC Hammer pants are back in fashion and it’s not just because Vogue says so.
So after the vulgarity of the noughties, a decade that gave rise to the whale penis leather car for f***’s sake, we’re now in a recessionary quandary. People want something and someone to believe in. Cue the deification of, and inevitable disenchantment with, Obama and Zuma.
The nineties had the sweet taste of freedom and potential. The noughties have been nothing but a decade of self-aggrandisement and navel-gazing. I’m optimistically hoping the teens will be an improvement.
hehe love it!! Must agree with you!
You think the 90s were where the rot began? Na, let me tell you about the 60s…
Funny piece. I did like the 90s. But in defence of the 00s. They were unfortunately cursed with the collapse of two very large buildings in New York. Which make things shit for a lot of people. But they have come back – the return of day glo crazy colours, Am Appy and Uniqlo. Myspace took music to whole new level. The bands it spawned literally number in their thousands. can’t be all bad.
And the noughties gave us the blog. For a bit of true noughties fun read hipster runoff. A culturally relevant blog (not my words, theirs!)
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/
Sgt. Pepper’s in the 90′s?
Try the late 80′s when the Playground was in Riebeeck Street and Arties still thumped. The Crow Bar was for the people who had run out of energy without the assistance of what is now called Tik.
I invite you to talk to what was then a young 80s Goth/Metal fellow.
The Naughties (intentional) have indeed gone back underground with the best. I just don’t understand why.
Haha! @ David
I LOVE Hipster Runoff. It’s so ridiculous
I was too young to appreciate the 90s in their entirety, but the last years were, for me, pretty definitive.
The 90s definitive? The 90s full of hope?
I don’t think so yes the 00s did have it’s bad points
But it was far better than the 90s